Unremembered (Unremembered #1)(81)

‘I understand,’ I say.

There’s a long pause and I watch Rio’s eyes start to glisten with tears. ‘Sera,’ he begins, his voice raspy, ‘I’m sorry about everything. Everything I did to you.’

‘Dad—’ I try.

‘Don’t call me that,’ he interrupts. ‘I don’t deserve that title. And you and I both know it’s not a rightful one anyway.’ He presses his fingertips against the corners of his eyes. ‘You’ve been such a gift to me, but I hate that this had to be your life.’

I can feel my own tears start to well. I blink them away.

‘I just wish there was a way I could make it up to you,’ he says.

‘You already have,’ I say, holding out the vial. ‘This is all I’ve ever wanted.’

He presses his lips together. ‘I know. I mean, I wish I could take back what I did.’

I fall silent, running my thumb along the smooth glass of the tiny bottle in my hand. My salvation.

‘Actually,’ I say, my own voice sounding suddenly rough and uncertain, ‘you can.’

He gazes down at me with enquiring eyes.

‘Take it all,’ I tell him, gaining conviction as I speak. ‘Every memory I have of this place. Everything. It’s the only way I can truly start over. The only way I’ll ever be able to forget.’

‘But, Sera . . .’ he objects.

‘I don’t want to remember any of it.’

He places a warm hand on my shoulder. ‘I don’t think you understand. If I take everything, that will include Zen.’

I smile knowingly. ‘Zen can never be forgotten. He lives in my blood. In my soul. We’ll be together and that’s the only thing that matters. Eventually, with his help, he’ll come back to me. I know it. I’ll always remember him.’ I gently squeeze the vial between my fingers. ‘Because I always have.’

The first thing I see when I open my eyes is Zen.

Despite his various scratches and wounds and possibly broken bones, he’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.

But there’s so much he doesn’t know. That I now know.

Rio was the one who got us access to the transession gene.

He was the one who put the memory inside my locket.

Then he erased everything. At my own instruction.

Diotech didn’t steal my memories. They weren’t accidentally lost. I gave them up willingly.

Because I assumed it wouldn’t matter. That I’d arrive safely in the year 1609 and I’d be with Zen. That’s why I wrote myself the note. Trust him. To give myself a head start.

But instead, something went wrong and I ended up here. Alone. Without a single scrap of memory in my mind.

Fortunately, however, I know how to fix it. I finally know how to make it right.

I look directly into Zen’s eyes, trying desperately to convey a silent message across the dimly lit cave.

Don’t worry, I tell him. It’s going to be all right.

Then I jump to my feet, catching Alixter and the dark-skinned agent by surprise. They both pivot quickly in my direction. The agent holds the Modifier poised and ready.

‘I know how to fix the gene,’ I tell Alixter.

Zen looks in alarm from me to them, then back to me.

‘Do you now?’ Alixter asks, seemingly intrigued.

‘Yes,’ I say. ‘Rio told me before I left. He said something like this might happen and he told me how to repair it if it did.’

Alixter folds his arms over his chest. ‘I’m listening.’

I look fleetingly at Zen and then back at Alixter. ‘It’s very easy. A quick and simple fix. Once I tell you, you’ll be able to transesse me out of here in a matter of minutes.’

Alixter nods. ‘Go on.’

‘But I have one condition.’

He breaks into a sinister smile. ‘Of course you do.’

‘I want to talk to Zen.’

I watch Alixter’s mouth fall into a frown and so I quickly add, ‘To say goodbye.’

He appears to be considering my offer.

‘Then I’ll tell you how to repair the gene and I’ll go with you,’ I promise.

Alixter’s eyes dart between us. I keep my face as sombre as possible. He drums his fingertips across his forearm, weighing the decision.

‘All right,’ he finally agrees. ‘You have one minute.’ He jabs a finger in the direction of the agent and motions for him to follow me.

With the open locket clasped tightly in my hand, concealed from view, I walk twelve short paces across the care and kneel down next to Zen.

The agent is right on my heels, hovering over me. He taps the Modifier against his open palm in long, menacing beats, warning me not to try anything.

‘Don’t do it, Sera,’ Zen begs me. ‘Don’t go with them. Get yourself out of here. Get as far away as you can.’

‘Shh,’ I soothe, leaning closer to him, our faces inches apart. I inhale the air he exhales. ‘Close your eyes.’

He shakes his head, knowing what that means. Knowing because he was the one who always used to say it. Before he left.

It means goodbye.

‘Trust me,’ I whisper.

He silently pleads with me, his expression anxious and fearful. I give him an encouraging nod, and reluctantly his eyes drift closed.