Unremembered (Unremembered #1)(80)

For the first time since he collapsed I allow myself to look at Rio once more. The sight nearly makes me start shaking with sobs again but I fight back the emotion and force myself to examine his face.

What kind of secrets has he been keeping?

And what was that intense look he gave me supposed to mean?

I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me.

But the truth is, I’ve already forgiven him. I don’t blame him for anything. And even though I don’t fully remember, I’m certain I never did. It’s obvious who the true monster is in this situation.

Find it in your heart.

These five words play over and over in my mind. I can’t seem to shake the feeling that he was trying to tell me more. That he was trying to divulge one of his secrets.

I lean back against the stone wall and my bound hands touch something cold. With curiosity I run my fingertips around it, trying to identify what it might be. It’s small and smooth with a raised surface, attached to a long chain.

I gasp softly.

Of course! I dropped it here only a few minutes ago. In the commotion I completely forgot about it. It’s my locket. My . . .

Heart.

Find it in your heart . . .

My mouth falls open. Could he really have been talking about my necklace?

But the locket was empty. Dr Schatzel said they found it that way. And even Zen confirmed it used to have a pebble inside of it.

I glance up to see that Alixter is pacing again, seemingly contemplating how to fix this unforeseen glitch in his plan.

Zen is watching me carefully. He can tell I’ve stumbled on to something but he’s waiting for a sign from me to tell him what it is.

The problem is, I don’t know what it is. I don’t know if it’s anything.

But I suppose it’s the only clue I have at this point.

With a pounding heart and shaking hands, I manage to unclasp the small heart behind my back and pry it open.

And as soon as I do, I feel the familiar rush. The blast of information. The sudden influx of images into my brain. The small vibrations at the base of my neck and behind my ears.

What is going on?

The images spin and spin, eventually aligning to form a complete scene. A full picture.

A memory.

That’s been stored inside my locket. And is now being triggered by my brain. Because I still have the receptors on.

I take another long look at Zen and then close my eyes, letting the movie in my mind play.

I am back inside my house. I sit on the couch in my living room. Alone.

So alone.

Rain streams down the windows. Pounds the pavement outside.

I feel anxious. My knee bounces. I can’t make it stop.

I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never kept anything from Zen.

But I’m doing this for him. For us. Because I love him.

If it works, if I’m right about Rio, then we will finally be together. Forever. Like the poem.

If I’m wrong . . . Well, I don’t even want to think about that.

I stare at the front door, jumping with every tiny creak the house makes.

When the beep finally sounds, I leap from the couch and rush towards the door, swinging it open wide.

Rio stands on the porch, soaking wet. I can’t read his expression. It’s as though the rain has washed it away.

Does he look happy?

Sad?

Regretful?

I step back, allowing him to come in. I hold my breath as he shrugs off his raincoat and hangs it on the rack. ‘Well?’ I ask, unable to take the suspense any longer.

He sighs, lowering his gaze as he reaches into his pocket and produces a tiny vial filled with clear liquid.

‘Is that . . . ?’ I start to ask but I can’t even bring myself to say the words.

He nods. ‘Yes.’

I jump up and down. ‘Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!’ I can’t stop smiling. I throw my hands around his neck and squeeze, inhaling his familiar sweet scent. It instantly settles me down, returning me to a calmer, more collected place.

‘You saved my life,’ I whisper in his ear.

I feel his body sag. He wraps his arms tightly around me and holds me. ‘It was the least I could do.’

Then he reaches up and gently disengages my grip, holding me at arm’s length and forcing me to look at him. ‘Seraphina,’ he says, his expression turning grave, ‘I have to warn you. The transession gene is highly unstable. There’s so much I don’t know about it yet. And there have been absolutely no tests yet to investigate its long-term effects.’

I nod, matching his serious demeanour.

‘If something goes wrong and you have no way to disable it, the gene could destroy you. Slowly eat you alive from the inside out. You wouldn’t even know until it was too late. I have to insist that you let me construct some type of deactivation mechanism that will allow you to turn the gene on and off. Just to be safe.’

‘But what about Zen?’ I ask.

Rio shakes his head. ‘Unless you can get him to meet me, I can’t—’

‘He won’t,’ I reply hastily. ‘He won’t do it. He didn’t even want me coming to you. If he knew, he would be furious. He doesn’t trust you.’

Rio sighs. ‘I can’t say I blame him.’ He places the vial ever so carefully in my hand. ‘But if he won’t come to me, then you’re going to have to take a chance.’