Twisted Fate(45)

Everything seemed to be getting more complicated, not less. What did it mean that even Declan thought he was our friend?

“C’mon, Tate,” Declan said. “Don’t you think you’re being a little hard on him because you have a crush on him?”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” I asked.

“Well . . . because it looks that way. The way you were hanging out with him after school and stuff.”

“What the hell are you talking about? It sounds like you’re the one who’s jealous.”

He laughed. “Of Art Dullard? No. But he is there—right next door and always around—and I could see how you might be interested in him.”

“Becky’s the one with the crush.”

“Right,” he said. “Becky and everyone else. I’m just a dope-smoking brainiac with long black hair.”

“Me too,” I said.

He laughed and then he stopped walking and stood in front of me.

“I love you, Earthling,” he said.

I was surprised he said it. We were close and I knew we loved each other but we didn’t talk like this. First Ally telling me she loves me and now this. Everyone was getting soft on me.

“Declan, what the hell?”

“I mean it. The way you took charge of this situation and made us go over there. The way you convinced him. You’re really changing. You get cooler and more badass and more responsible every day.” He laughed. “How can you be such a bad girl and such a good girl at the same time?”

“Good role models, I guess.”

Then he bent down and kissed me and I held him tight and for some reason I felt like I might cry.





Dear Lined Piece of Paper,

What a week. No sooner had I figured out a way to finance my fantastic project than it has been taken away. At least temporarily. Brian—the X-Man kid who I had hoped to do a long-term film project about—was found. I guess I should say he was kidnapped. Yes. He was kidnapped and then found in some guy’s basement. The guy had bought the movie I made about Brian, and so he knew some things that made it easier to take him.

Man. People do some f*cked-up things. I’m glad he’s back, but I doubt his parents will let me make any more movies of him. The police called after he was found, and they wanted to talk to me about my website and the movies, but Dad and Kim said I don’t have to talk to anyone, and they got our lawyer to explain things to them. Brian’s family is happy he’s home, and they think the movies I made saved his life! So no one is there to press any charges at all.

And you know what? It did save his life, just like Tate said it would.

Oh God, Tate. I can hardly think about her now without feeling butterflies in my stomach. I keep remembering her out on the lawn by the fountain holding me in her arms and whispering so sweetly and making everything better. She’s the most interesting person I have ever known. I’ve been watching the movie I took of it all week. There’s no sound, which makes it even better. I used the little camera and attached it to the edge of the fountain. So you can’t see all of us, mostly just our faces and chests. She’s so beautiful. I need to have her over to make more movies of her in my room. I like it when she talks about her life. I like how she changes and how her expressions are so free floating. I like everything about her.

I want her to be the star of the best movie I have ever made. Something better than what Eric and I made. Something that really will reveal all the beauty in the world.

I had to talk to Dr. Adams again about Brian. He asked me how I felt and I told him I felt like I had corrected something that went wrong before and also afraid that it might mean my camera would be taken away.

He said, “What would it mean if your camera was taken away?” And before I even realized what I was saying I said, “It would mean that I was blind.”

“Can’t you see without your camera?” he asked.

I said yes I can but I was really thinking no. I totally can’t. Of course not. Not the way I want to. Not the way I need to, so I can study things and understand what’s going on. No, actually not at all! I would rather look at a movie I’ve made of myself than look in the mirror, because it’s more interesting. If I have a movie of Tate, I can rewatch it and understand what’s going on. It doesn’t slip away through time into nowhere.

But of course I said yes. Sure, I would still be able to see blah blah blah. And I didn’t tell him about correcting my own dosages. I didn’t tell him that actually I was mad at Brian for getting kidnapped because he almost got my camera taken away from me. He almost made me blind.

If it wasn’t for Tate figuring out it would be better for me to go to the police myself I’d be completely screwed.





We should have known something was wrong. We should have known he was struggling. I do blame myself for this. The fact was we had a lot of time at home with him and we spent a lot of time together, the three of us.

David essentially left his job so he could be a better father and be there for Graham, and I know I was the one who constantly reassured him that there was no problem.

When the police called and said a film Graham had made was probably the reason Brian Phillips was kidnapped, I told them the one sure thing was that a film Graham made was the reason Brian Phillips was saved. Then they told me about the wish list and the camera. A known pedophile had bought Graham a camera. And Graham had provided this person with our home address, where the camera was shipped. That startled me. So many strangers having our address. I know kids think differently about privacy than we did when we were young. But this was a serious lack of judgment.