Toxic: Logan's Story (Torn #4)(8)

“What about after you turned eighteen? You didn’t need to hide then. He couldn’t drag you back since you were a legal adult.” I said.

“I focus all my attention on the band. If I’m not doing that, I’m working. I have a few kids in the area that I give weekly drum lessons to for extra cash. It isn’t a ton, but it helps Eric with the rent. I don’t have time to go to school.”

I nodded, but I still didn’t get how she could put the band ahead of her education. My mother had beaten it into my head that I had to go as far as I could with my education. She wanted me to have so much more than she had.

“I think we’ve had enough heart-to-heart conversation for one night. I’ll leave you alone to mope.” She stood up and walked to the door.

I was surprised by her sudden departure, but I nodded. “Thanks for stopping by, Jade. I appreciate it.”

She smiled. “You’re welcome, Logan. I know you’re hurting right now, but you’re not alone. I hope you know that.”

She was gone before I had the chance to respond. I stared at the door, wondering what the hell had just happened.



After that night, something shifted between Jade and me. At least, it did for me. For the first time ever, I saw her as more than just Chloe’s friend or a member of Drake’s band. I saw her as my friend. She stopped by my dorm room a few more times, but we never talked about our pasts again. Instead, we would argue about music, bullshit about our day, or go over my classwork together.

Just as I’d suspected, Jade was smart, really smart. I never brought up her lack of education, but it bothered me. I really did hope that the band took off, but there was a good chance that it wouldn’t, and she’d be left with nothing. In this world, she would need a high school diploma to find work—period. I spent some time researching how she could get her GED, but I never mentioned it up to her. I didn’t want to piss her off or offend her. So, I stashed the information away as I debated on the best way to bring it up.

I saw Chloe several times on campus, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak to her. She looked as miserable as I felt, but I wasn’t ready. She’d hurt me, broken me. It would take time to heal from that. I even saw Drake once or twice. While I hated him, I no longer felt the rage I had in the beginning. I didn’t have it in me. I hated the fact that I couldn’t be angry with either of them. I wanted to be angry. Instead, all I felt was disappointment and sadness. I’d thought that I made Chloe happy, but it was obvious that I hadn’t. I lacked whatever it was that drew her to Drake.

I kept replaying my relationship with Chloe over and over, trying to figure out what I had done to screw it up. To me, every moment had felt perfect. It was obvious that I was missing something. I was lacking, and the worst part was that I would never know what I had done wrong. Even if I could forgive Chloe, I knew I would never have the courage to ask her what I had done to ruin everything, what I had done to make her love another man.

Maybe it was the whole bad-boy thing. I knew girls liked that. Drake played that role perfectly. The women, the band, the tattoos, and the piercings—I knew those were things that women loved. I’d just never expected Chloe to be one of those women, and I’d never expected the womanizer in Drake to love Chloe back.

I hated the fact that I was hurting Chloe by ignoring her and by keeping her away from Drake. I would watch both of them, and I could tell they weren’t together. If I told her that it was okay for her to be with Drake, I knew she would go running to him, begging him to take her back after she let both of us go. I wasn’t sure that I could stomach that.

I started going to the gym more, and I picked up extra shifts at work just so I had something to do. I’d made friends with a few guys at work, and I even went out with them a few times, but it didn’t feel the same as it had when I was with Chloe and Amber. As days turned to weeks, I knew I needed to man up and get over myself. I needed to forgive Chloe, so both of us could all start living our lives again instead of hanging in this miserable limbo.





Knocking on Chloe’s door was one of the most selfish and selfless things I’d ever done. It was selfish because I was sick of being miserable, and it was also selfless because I knew that once I told her I forgave her, she would eventually find her way back to Drake. It was inevitable. I’d been a blind fool before, and deep down, even I’d known what would happen.

I’d tried calling her a few times, but her phone always went straight to voice mail. I’d hoped that I could take the coward’s way out and not have to come face-to-face with her when I all but gave her my permission to go back to Drake, but I’d had no such luck. I was going to have to grow a pair and act like an adult.

I almost laughed at the startled gasp Rachel, Chloe’s roommate, gave when she answered the door. It was obvious that she hadn’t expected me. I glanced behind her to see Chloe staring at me with a look of shock on her face. She was holding a bag, but it slipped from her fingers. Feathers flew everywhere as the bag hit the ground.

I chuckled as I stared at the mess. “Do I even want to ask?”

“Pillow fight,” she whispered as she continued to stare at me.

“Mind if I come in to talk?” I asked quietly.

Rachel held the door open the rest of the way, and I walked in. I stopped when I was standing in front of Chloe. I glanced back to see Rachel still standing by the doorway, looking like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming semi.