Toxic (Denazen #2)(31)

“Because what we have is epic. It’s the kind of thing they put in books and movies. The epic ones are always hard, Kale. They’re blood, sweat, and tears, but they’re worth it.”

He was quiet for a moment. “And yet you still worry I’ll fall in love with Jade because I can touch her.”

With someone else this would’ve been tricky. The truth would make me look desperate and pathetic. But not with Kale. He didn’t operate on the same frequency as everyone else. On one hand, he was more dangerous than anyone I’d ever met. He could slip into a room, kill you with a spatula, and be out of town before anyone knew about it. On the other, he was the most pure, untarnished soul I’d ever come across. It was an odd mix so uniquely Kale, and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

He was the one person I was completely free to be myself with. With Kale, there was no chance anything I said would be construed as needy or pathetic. I’d never get an eye roll or dismissive wave. One of the things I loved most—I never had to hide anything—

Only I was. My left shoulder chose that moment to twitch, sending a dull ache down my arm. Crap. I’d been trying to ignore it in hopes it would simply go away.

Who was I kidding? I had to tell him. He’d figure out something was wrong, anyway. Kale knew me better than anyone. Better than I knew myself sometimes. I opened my mouth to come clean, but when the words spilled out, they weren’t what I’d planned. “In my heart I know that would never happen, but it’s always been my worst fear.”

He hesitated for a moment, blue eyes nearly boring holes through mine. This was it. He’d call my bullshit and force me to tell him what was up. A large part of me was relieved. After a moment, though, he sighed. “It’s a silly fear. You have to understand that.”

A strand of his hair fell into my eyes. Slightly disappointed, I blew it away and frowned. “Says the guy who can’t touch his own girlfriend.”

“This is temporary.”

Twisting, I nodded to the row of dead plants lining the other side of the gym. A defeated army of greenery. An image of Kale and me, old and gray and sitting on a porch swing with Jade standing behind us, bound and gagged, popped into my head.

“I know…” But I couldn’t help wondering what kind of damage would be done before we got it all straightened out…

…

The next few days went by without serious issue. Kale, Jade, and I continued to go to school—and detention turned out to be code for slavery. Ginger must have saved all the manual labor chores around the hotel for a rainy day because there was no end in sight. We’d done everything from washing windows to scrubbing out the stove.

Alex returned but stayed in the background. He left the hotel on lunch break and was giving me the silent treatment. It was possible he’d realized Kale’s threat was serious, or he’d learned his lesson—don’t screw with an ex-assassin. Either way, it was peace, and we needed that.

I needed that.

The blotch on my shoulder hadn’t gone away. In fact, it’d actually gotten bigger. It itched like hell and ached at random, inconveniently timed intervals. I woke up almost in tears most mornings, throbbing pain and occasional flashes of heat demanding attention, but I chose to pop pills and ignore the whole thing.

The longer I put off telling everyone, the more it seemed like a bad idea, until finally, the thought of coming clean scared me almost as much as Denazen. They’d flame me for waiting so long, and in the back of my mind, there was still the lingering hope that this would all go away on its own. It was stupid, and a part of me knew that, but I couldn’t do it. I’d tried. The words just never came.

Jade and Kale grew closer. At least that’s what it seemed like to me. Anytime I looked, they were whispering to each other. Twice I’d entered the room, only to have them go silent. Kiernan swore it was my imagination, insisting Kale spent so much time with Jade because he wanted to learn and get back to me. Still, something in the back of my mind whispered dark things.

Ginger gave them an hour to practice control each day, right before break. They’d slink off to the common room and practice with meditation and plants. During this time, she’d send Alex and me to the kitchen to make lunch. Her twisted idea of home economics.

On the third day, Alex finally broke his silence. “So what’s up with the redhead?”

I slathered one piece of bread with extra mustard and set it on the counter. “What do you mean, what’s up?”

He handed me the cheese. It was the same routine every day. Next I’d spread a thin layer of mayo on the other piece of bread, and then put three pieces of cheese between them. Kale had a thing for cheese.

“Seems like her and Reaper are getting a little friendly.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. He knew that name bothered me and used it whenever possible. “Stop calling him that, please.”

One slice of bread on a plate, followed by a chunk of turkey slices, then exactly three pieces of pepperoni and a dollop of mustard. Alex’s eating habits had always turned my stomach. “So he dumped you for her?”

Acknowledging the verbal poking would only make it worse, but I couldn’t help myself. “We’re still together,” I said, gritting my teeth.

He waved a piece of pepperoni in my direction and feigned astonishment. “It’s, like, an open relationship? You were never the type to share, Dez. I’m surprised.”