Toxic (Denazen #2)(29)

“That’s sad.” The sympathy in his voice made my chest clench just a little. I’d bet good money he was thinking about Denazen.

She shrugged and picked up a clump of dirt from one of the destroyed plants, smushing it between her fingers. “I didn’t start out trying to help her—I mean I wanted to—but I never thought I could do anything. After a while we started experimenting. I’d drop my aura and let her touch me. Her gift—and Ginger believes yours as well—is fueled by emotions. Learn to keep them in check, and you can control it.”

“How long did it take?”

“With Gabi?” There was a moment of hesitation. Her lips tilted downward, but I could tell it was all for show. The kind of frown you force to cover up a shit-eating grin. “Eight months.”

“That’s a long time,” Kale said, eyes wide.

But Jade didn’t seem concerned. “Not really. But don’t worry. I’ll be with you every step of the way. You’ll get this eventually.”

“Hey,” I said. Coffee still warm in my hands, I stepped into the room. Watching them from the hall felt weird. Like I was doing something wrong. Plus I didn’t want to hear anymore about Jade’s sad, pathetic family. I wanted no part in feeling sorry for her.

“Dez.” Kale’s face brightened instantly. He stood and crossed the room in three fluid steps, stopping a foot or so away.

“Needed coffee.” I waved the cup. “Just thought I’d see how things were going.”

Without taking his eyes from me, he pointed to the door. “Go away now, please, Jade. I want to be alone with Dez.”

Jade’s face turned scarlet. Poor thing didn’t know what to say. Here she was, pouring her bleeding heart out, trying so hard to make a connection, and he boots her. Kale wasn’t trying to be rude; he just didn’t know how to pad his requests with polite. In this case, it was some serious win.

She wiped the annoyance from her face and flashed a sugary smile as she passed. “Don’t get too close. I’m going upstairs.”

“I really don’t like her.” I closed the door with a snap and slid down the wall.

Kale did the same—only several feet away. My brain knew he was worried about hurting me. Emotionally, though, all my heart felt was the sting of rejection.

“Tell me why.”

I stared at him. “Are you serious? She’s just waiting for the chance to jump you.”

His eyes widened. Expression serious, he leaned forward. “That’s what you’re worried about?”

“Well, yeah. She can—”

He chuckled and scooted just a little closer. “That’s ridiculous. She has no training.”

Training? For crap’s sake. Sometimes I wanted to beat my head against the wall when talking to Kale. “That’s not what I meant.” I shook my head. “Ya know what? Never mind. How do you feel?”

“You’re referring to my fight with Alex.”

I nodded. “And it looked like you dinged your head pretty hard in the van.”

“I’m fine.” He thought about it for a moment. Flexing his arm, he said, “I would have been burned for that at Denazen.”

My stomach turned. “Burned? For what?”

“Before the van. My fight with Alex. As punishment. Those of us who misbehaved were sometimes forced to hold scalding metal to our skin.”

I wanted to throw up, but I refused to let him see it affected me. One of the reasons he kept most of his time with Denazen a secret was because he didn’t want to upset me. I was determined to prove I could handle it.

“Losing control is not something they allow.” He gave a small laugh. “I’ve never felt like that before. I’m trained to be aware of my surroundings. Careful. But earlier I couldn’t see anything but my anger for Alex. It clouded everything.”

I leaned back against the wall. “Sometimes we lose it. That’s just the way it is.”

“No, thank you. It felt good at first, but in the end it was…”

“Exhausting?”

He gave me a sad smile. “Yes.”

“Sounds about right.”

A few moments of silence passed before he spoke again. “It won’t take that long. I won’t let it.”

“What won’t take how long?”

“Jade teaching me control. It won’t take eight months like it did with her sister.”

He’d known I was there.

Of course he did. Nothing got past Kale. “How come you didn’t say anything?”

He tilted his head, confused.

“You knew I was standing outside the room.”

“You didn’t want to come in. You had your reasons.”

“I know it won’t take that long,” I said, hoping the words sounded more convincing than they felt. “You’re brimming with control.”

His hand twitched. “I have powerful motivation. I want to kiss you.”

“I know how you feel.”

“But for now, I really should avoid being near you.” Expression torn, he said, “I don’t like being this close knowing I could hurt you…but the idea of staying away is—painful.”

I pushed off the wall and turned. On my knees, I crawled until I was sitting in front of him with my back against one of the treadmills. “Close your eyes.”