Touch (Denazen #1)(70)

He pulled my hand up to his chest and placed it over his heart. “I don’t know how you feel, or understand exactly what you mean by date other people, but if it’s this”—he squeezed my hand to his chest—“then you’re wrong.”

Then he kissed me. Not a gentle peck or a tentative pull of the lips. A scorching, soul-wrenching hammer that pounded a heart-stopping rhythm from my toes to the tips of my fingers. Alive. Like his other kisses, it was the strongest high I’d ever had. A thrill I intended to ride all the way to the end this time.

I backed us up against the wall. “How I feel? You want to know?” I ran my hands over his face and tangled them into his messy hair. “This is unlike anything else. I’ve bungeed off buildings, I’ve skateboarded off roofs. I’ve even gone train surfing. Nothing comes close to the high I feel when I’m with you. You’ve been through horrible things, and yet you’re one of the kindest, truest people I’ve ever met. At first I thought it was because you were safe. I could feel something for you because you couldn’t hurt me. Not the way Alex did. But it’s more than that. It’s you. Who you are. The way you are. Everything from your smile to the way you always say exactly what’s on your mind. Your soul, Kale.”

I took a deep, shaky breath. “It terrifies me to say it, but I think I might be falling in l—”

“I love you,” he said. His arms encircled me, fingers digging into my lower back. They slipped down, sliding inside the back of my jeans. His words came in thick, hot rasps that tickled the side of my face as he kissed a trail from my chin to my ear, and back again. “Just you. Only you. Always you.”

I pulled him away from the wall and backed toward the bed. He followed, never breaking contact. Like me, the room, the entire world would vanish if he let go. We reached the bed and I turned, breaking the kiss. He strained forward, eager to reconnect, but I resisted. I took a step back and made a show of slowly unbuttoning my jeans. Kale stopped fighting me and froze. He stared, eyes trained on my hands as I slid my jeans down to the floor. When I kicked them away, he reached forward to grip my hips. A small sigh of contentment escaped his lips as he made contact again, pulling me closer.

I let him pull me on top of him before grabbing both his wrists and pinning them to his sides. Planting tiny kisses all the way from his neck to his belly button, I smiled. The Reaper. My Reaper. I flipped my hair aside and raised my head to watch him. “How does this feel? Tell me.”

The muscles in his arms tightened and his legs went ridged. “It’s amazing,” he gasped as I resumed my kisses, dropping below his navel. Unbuttoning his jeans, I pushed them down a few inches and paused above the waistband of his boxers for a moment before tugging them down, along with his jeans. As my fingers brushed his hip, he jumped, sucking in a sharp breath. “Oh God…”

With each shocked gasp and shallow, gasping breath, Kale brought me higher. There was no ceiling with him. Happiness stretched on forever. Every moment I spent with him seemed to find me someplace new—feeling something new. I hadn’t loved Alex. I’d cared about him, yes, but I hadn’t loved him. Not once in all our time together had I ever felt like this. Free. Euphoric. Content.

Reluctantly, I pulled away. The subject of protection was silly considering his life before me, but I still felt like it was something we both needed to get out. “Um, you’ve never—I mean obviously this is the first time…”

He trailed a finger across my bare shoulder. “Of course not.” Frowning, he added, “You have, though.”

It was the last thing he’d want to hear, but I didn’t want there to be any lies between us. “This is kind of awkward… I mean, Alex and I…”

I tried to draw away, but he stopped me. “That was your past. I am your future. There’s no more Alex?”

“No more. I know what I want. I just wanted you to know that we’d—I mean I’m on pills because I’ve already… So I can’t…” God. I felt like an idiot.

Kale didn’t seem to notice. He smiled and pulled me close again. When he kissed me, everything else melted away. Our underwear and Kale’s jeans joined mine on the hotel floor. I settled on top of him, inching down slowly as I watched his face. “No,” I said when he closed his eyes. “Look at me, please.”

Ice blue eyes burned as he grabbed my face and pulled me to him. “Please…” he pleaded. “I need to…”

“It’s okay,” I whispered, my own voice thick. “Go ahead.”

Before I knew what happened, Kale was above me, strands of black hair falling forward. I reached up and pushed them away—I wanted to see his face—no, I needed to see his face. His eyes never left mine. With anyone else, in any other circumstance, that type of scrutiny would have made me squirm, regardless of my self-confidence. With Kale it was different. He wasn’t staring at me, he saw. More clearly than anyone else ever had. It was like a drug and I needed more. I’d always need more—and that still scared me a little. Kale was truly the one fix I’d never get enough of. My nirvana.

“This can’t be real,” he hissed. “I don’t deserve—”

“You do,” I insisted. Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes as I silenced further protests with a fierce kiss. Every cell in my body was ready to explode. No outside world. No Denazen. No Dad. Only Kale and me.