Torrent of Tears (Scourge Survivor Series Book 3)(37)

Maybe. “It beats the alternative.”

“Oh? And what’s that?”

“Hook up with Zale to affect change within the Nobles’ Council and be sister wife number three. What do you think I’d have to do to climb up those ranks and have a voice?”

Rowan blanched.

“You don’t like that equation any more than I do.”

“And how do you get out of a public ceremony being held in four days. The laws are clear. If you don’t follow through, you’re derelict in your duties as an Eligible. You’ll be executed.”

“Laws-schmaws,” I snapped. “My father always said, “In any situation you can either be the hammer or the anvil.” Let me give you a hint, Doc. I’ll never be the anvil.”

Rowan gritted his teeth and sank back against his seat. “You’re impossible.”

“Welcome to the new world . . . where women fight and have brains and everything.”

“I haven’t lived under a damn rock, Lexi. I’ve had my share of strong women.”

Well didn’t that just bite me in the ass? Yep, that pretty much did it for the convo. By the time the launch docked in the market district of Attalos, the moon was a glowing white orb directly overhead. Other than a tiny part of the curve that looked like it had been shaved off, it was a perfect sphere of light. By tomorrow night it would be full.

Two of our military escorts stepped onto the dock and secured the lines. One of the men reached down and took Coal from my arms while the other offered his hand to guide my exit against the pitch and yaw of the boat.

When we were ready and steady, the soldier holding my hand released me. “The others will take Lir-Rowan to the palace and return the launch. Ydorus and I will see you and your guard safely to your destination, Princess.”

The voice of the soldier had me taking a closer look at him and his friend. The two had matching olive skin along with dark, military cut hair and brown eyes. I’d met them before. They were part of the squad Estes had let me spar with in my exercise session in the palace orchard. “I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you boys earlier.”

“Understandable, considering the day’s events. We’re, sorry you lost your friend like that, Princess. It wasn’t right . . . what happened to him. We’ve all been through it and it’s just not right.”

I nodded, but couldn’t go down that road. “Eury, isn’t it? How’s the rib from the yesterday?”

“I am well, Princess.” Eury rubbed his side with a smirk. “Where are you headed? We should get you off the streets quickly. There are no secrets in Attalos and with what happened to your friend . . .”

“I was thinking I could go back to Balor’s townhouse. It’s been cleaned out and—”

“She’s going to my family home,” Rowan muttered. From the shadows of the canopied launch he extended a silver key card. He kept his face well back of the moonlight, so I couldn’t see him. I could, however, still hear the tension in his voice. “I’ll have the garden gate unlocked. Go in through the back. No one has lived there since my parents were killed except our housemaster. It should be safe enough to hide her away for a few days.”

“Understood.” Eury accepted the key and slipped it into his pocket.

“That’s a terrible idea,” I said, raising my hand. “You can’t risk your sister or your honor any more than you have.”

Rowan leaned forward. In the pale light of the moon, his complexion had drained of its usual golden tone. It could have been a trick of the silver moonlight or it could have been something else entirely. “I’m tired of being the anvil, Lexi—so desperately tired. And besides, she might already know. I was called to appear at the palace a half hour ago.”

My stomach knotted at the thought. Did my mother know Rowan helped with Tham or was she randy and looking to hit the horizontal? Between one heartbeat and the next, my insides were consumed by a surge of hatred. “I should go too. If it’s me she wants, Elani might already be in danger.”

“You stay out of sight. I’ll feel out the Queen and see what she knows.”

Feel her out or feel her up? Fighting back the urge to chain Rowan to the nearest tree, I reminded myself I had no right to the fury burning through my blood, no right to forbid him going into her den of depravity. It took all my inner strength not to scream as vile, unwanted images flooded through my mind. My mother’s lips touching his . . . his calloused, strong hands touching—

“Lexi.” Rowan stared at me like I’d just punched him in the stomach. “Don’t.”

I swallowed the bile burning the lining of my throat and forced my expression to relax. Registering the pain in my right hand, I realized I was choking the life out of my knife. On a deep exhale, I slid the gleaming blade into its sheath and pried my fingers off the hilt one by one.

Annnnd there we go. I’m calm. S’all good.

“Fine. Go,” I said, thankful that my voice held steady. “But don’t plan any trips down suicide alley, Doc. If you’re in a jam, protect you and yours. If it comes down to Elani or me, I can take care of myself, she can’t.”

Cue crickets in the background.

Rowan cursed, his face going grim. “You say that, like you actually believe I could throw you to the sharks.”