Torn(22)

It's overdue and something I should have done at the coffee shop right after our shoot. I saw how seriously she takes her work. I know that it pissed her off that I ignored her request to hand my phone to her assistant.

"The call seemed important." Her voice is quiet and understanding. "I sensed that it was really bad news."

No one else noticed that, not even the people who hang around me all day, doing very little to earn a paycheck. Falon picked up on it. She was the only one in the entire room.

Maybe I gave something away in my expression when Daniel told me he was with Caterina and had looked over the emails and listened to the voicemail she saved. It could have been the way my hand fisted around the phone when he told me that my suspicions about my paternity were dead-on. My dad told his fiancée, a woman he'd known just months at the time, the truth about me, yet he never bothered once to clue me in. I've asked both him and my mom at least a dozen times over the past decade whether I'm the product of one of the affairs she had that have been well publicized since I hit it big. Every single f*cking time they've laughed and told me it was all nonsense, fabricated to hurt our family by random jealous *s or vultures trying to sell a story.

"I was half-expecting it," I admit. "It was brutal hearing it though."

She eyes me carefully, her hand reaching up to scratch the tip of her nose. "That's why you wanted me to take your picture. You wanted that moment captured. Something changed and you wanted me to document it, right?"

I nod. She's got more insight into what's going on inside of me than I do. "I wanted that because everything felt different after that call. My family will never be the same again."

***

I've sat quietly for the past five minutes while she talked on her phone to her mom. I assume it's her mom based on the number of times she's had to tell the person on the other end that Elijah is fine, and will be fine until he's back home.

"I'm sorry about that." She lowers the phone to her lap. "My mom worries about him. She worries about all of us."

I hesitate, knowing I should segue into this in a more civilized way, but at some point she's going to have to go back up to her place to hang out with her brother. If I don't say it now, I'm going to lose another night of sleep. "My mind has been jumping all over the f*cking place the last few days, Falon. When I pulled back from you at your studio, that was… that had nothing to do with you. That was all me. I was still reeling from that call."

Her eyes widen. "I get family drama. I've got my own to deal with."

"I didn't handle it well. I want to start over. I'd love to take you out for dinner. It could be our first date."

"You do realize that we've already had dinner together, don't you? It was cheeseburgers with extra mustard and soggy fries. That was technically a date."

"I don't consider that a date. We grabbed some food after midnight. That's completely different than an actual date so I'm asking you again if you'll go out with me one night this week."

Her top teeth catch her bottom lip as she studies my face. "You asked me that in my studio too. Let's cut to the chase. Do you always ask the women you want to f*ck to go on an actual date first?"

My brows rise at the playful way she slowly and distinctively says the word 'f*ck.' I swallow hard. "Do you always talk about f*cking with men before you've gone on an actual date with them?"

"Touché," she says through a wide grin. "It depends on the man and I like to be clear about things."

"I don't know about the other men you're going out with." A muscle in my jaw shudders. "This man would like to take you out for dinner at a nice restaurant before midnight one night. You choose what night and what we do after that is entirely up to you."

"Entirely?" Her face brightens with a smile. "You'd put yourself at my mercy like that?"

"I've kissed you, Falon." My fingers brush over my lips. "If that's a taste of what's to come, I'll sit right here on this stoop for days waiting for you to say yes to dinner."

Tilting her head she brings her mouth close to mine. I can feel her breath as she whispers into the air between us. "Now, I'm the one who can't resist when you put it like that."

The urge to reach out and grab her to kiss her again is strong but before I have time to react, she's on her feet, her hand lightly brushing my shoulder as she climbs the concrete steps, unlocks the door and disappears behind it.





CHAPTER 17


Falon




"Your brother told me about the rock and roll singer." My mom pounds her fist into a ball of dough. I take a step back to shield my dress from the cloud of flour that erupts. "Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend, Girlie?"

It's Falon, Mom. My name is Falon Frances Shaw. You chose my name. Use it.

I want to say that but I wore out my voice when I was a teenager trying to convince my mom, and my dad, to call me by my name. Obviously it was time wasted.

As I've gotten older I've realized that my desire to hear my name from the two people who brought me into this world has a lot to do with security. Everyone has memories of their childhood they'd like to box up and hide in a tomb for eternity.