Today's Promises (Promises #2)(41)

“I know, babe. But we’ll get used to normal soon enough.”

Hours later when we return from our jobs, the candy bars are still on the nightstand.

“See, I told you they’d still be here,” I say, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

Truth is this is a relief for me too.

Jaynie plops down next to me. “Well…” She reaches over and grabs two of them. “We may as well eat a couple.”

She hands me one of the chocolate bars, and once we have them unwrapped I tap mine to hers. “Cheers,” I say.

Laughing, she asks, “And just what are we toasting to?”

“How about…” I think it over, and come up with, “Let’s toast to healing?”

“I’ll agree to that any day.”

So we toast and we eat chocolate. And afterward, we make love.

And the healing continues….

Jaynie draws up a cleaning schedule, one that is reasonable and includes me helping out. I’m all too happy to agree with sharing the cleaning duties. “After all, it’s only fair,” I say. “I live here too.”

“Yes, you do, mister,” Jaynie retorts, clearly teasing. “About time you start carrying your weight around this joint.”

I give her a mock-salute. “Yes, ma’am, you are correct. I have been remiss in my duties to keep our apartment in tiptop shape.”

We bust out laughing, but I know what’s real. Jaynie is only adding me to the cleaning schedule to keep her on course.

No matter. Whatever works for her is cool with me.

The new schedule works out great. Well, mostly. The only times Jaynie has an urge to compulsively clean is after she’s had a nightmare. Luckily, her bad dreams have lessened considerably. We deal with only one a week, sometimes two.

And that, my friends, is much better than one every night.





Jaynie



I’m feeling good. Really good. My life feels like it’s been returned to me. But sometimes it’s weird to make my own decisions. I spent so much time under the care and authority of others that it feels odd not to have to ask all the time, “Is this okay?”

One thing I do want input on, however, Flynn’s input specifically, is a decision I must make at the end of May.

“Hey, I need to ask you something,” I say to Flynn one weekend morning when we’re lounging around in bed.

He leans over and kisses my forehead. “What’s up, babe?”

I sit up. “I received a call from the women’s clinic the other day.”

“Okay…and…?”

“It was a reminder call that it’s time for me to go in and get another birth control shot.”

I look down and away, but Flynn tilts up my chin so he can see my face. “What do you want to do?” he asks.

I sink down into the pillows and turn to him. He lies down as well, putting us face-to-face.

“I don’t know if I should bother,” I say. “I mean, the doctor was pretty adamant that I will never be able to have kids. So really, what’s the point of staying on birth control?”

“None that I see,” he says quietly, his voice resigned.

God, I still feel so bad that I’ll never be able to give this great guy kids. And damn it, Flynn would be so good with our children. How he is when he’s with Cody and Callie shows me as much. He deserves to have children of his own someday, and I can’t help but feel guilty, knowing I will fail him on that.

“Flynn…” I close my eyes, unable to look at him. “I’m so sorry,” I choke out.

“Hey, hey, stop.” He gathers me in his arms. “It’s all right. Everything is fine.” Stroking my back, he reassures me that I am all he will ever need or want. “In this lifetime, or in any other,” he adds.

That leads me to my decision, finally. “I don’t want to get another shot.” I lean back so I can see Flynn’s face. “I may never get pregnant, but I don’t want to actively avoid it. Are you okay with that, though?”

He nods. “Yes, of course.”

And so it is decided.





With all this healing, I begin to feel more outgoing. I start to think about one thing I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I just never felt up to it, until now.

I want to meet Crick, Flynn’s friend. He’s a part of Flynn’s life, and I should get to know him. I inform Flynn of my desire, and together we make a plan to meet up with Crick the very next evening at a diner halfway between Lawrence and Forsaken.

On the way to the place, I confess, “I’m so nervous.” My knees bob up and down. “I hope Crick likes me.”

“Are you kidding?” He chuckles. “Crick is going to love you.”

“You better be right.” I sigh. “I just want to make a good impression for you. I don’t want to come off like some scared little rabbit.”

Flynn laughs. “Babe, I’m sure Crick is just as nervous to meet you. Remember”—he glances over and holds my gaze—“we’re all broken here.”

That we are. And that’s what turns out to break the ice.

A short while later finds the three of us in a booth at the diner, laughing and talking, our dinner plates cleared. Flynn was right; I had nothing to worry about. Crick was way more nervous than I was about meeting. So much so that when we were initially seated, Crick ordered a Coke and proceeded to knock it over not ten seconds after it arrived.