Time Out of Mind (Suncoast Society #43)(77)

“What about the people he knows in Florida?”

“Maybe when the tour’s over and I can get away I’ll go look there. I…right now I can’t. I hurt too much, and I want to focus on the tour. I need to focus on me.”

“Don’t be mad at him when you finally do,” she said. “I was…I was sort of envious of how much time he got to spend with you. I definitely made it sound like you and I had slept together. I never thought you two were an item. He probably left hurt and heartbroken. And I’ll be happy to talk to him for you and tell him the truth, that we weren’t having sex that night.”

“Thanks.” He didn’t want to think about what Doyle might be doing, where he was right then.

It hurt too much to know that a man who’d literally put his professional reputation on the line in the name of love for him had been hurt by him.

The first person in his life who’d put him before everything else, because Doyle had loved him, and then he’d stupidly destroyed it.

He didn’t even know if Doyle would ever want to speak to him again. And that was pain he couldn’t endure and still put on a reasonably normal face. Meaning he’d have to wait to deal with it.

Meanwhile, he’d focus on staying sober.





That night, they were scheduled to get together for a private dinner, the band and the core crew. No worries of press or reporters overhearing, this being their permanent group, the ones who were always with them, some who’d been with them the better part of twenty years.

No phones, no cameras, other than the one their official publicist carried, and nothing escaping that room that wasn’t meant for public consumption. Their chance to reset for the second half of the tour, settle in, and clear the air. A tradition they’d had from the beginning, at the beginning of every tour and following any long breaks. And it was also the first chance many of them had to lay eyes on everyone from the core group since arriving in the country.

Bonnie walked toward the elevator with Mevi, arm in arm. “You okay?”

“Yeah. My stomach’s a knot, though.”

“It’s okay. Trust me on this, huh? Of any group of people, these people have your back.”

“Yeah.”

When they entered the room together, it almost seemed like everyone was waiting to see how Bonnie would react. While they had several women on the payroll, including techs and roadies, it was still a majority of men.

Once the hotel staff had served them and left them alone in the room, everyone focused on Mevi, waiting on him to say something, the way he’d always kicked off these dinners. In fact, the dinners had started because of him, an idea he’d had to try to keep their band from falling into the traps many other groups did.

This dinner felt far different than the one at the very start of the tour, in Chicago. Because while people didn’t know the deets, they all knew Mevi and Bonnie had a fall-out of epic proportions, one unlike anything before.

Mevi stood and picked up his glass of water, staring at it for a moment as everyone fell silent and watched him, waiting.

“I’m sorry,” he started. “I owe everyone in this room an apology I should have given you in Chicago. Something that was never a problem in the past became an issue that nearly destroyed me. I developed an alcohol addiction because I started falling back on it as a crutch. You all know what that f*cker David did to me financially, and you were amazing in your support and love of me through all of that. This is solely on me. I take full and complete responsibility for it.

“I wouldn’t have blamed you all if you hadn’t given me another chance. If you’d written me off and sent me packing. You would have had every right to do it. But me…”

Fear gripped him, yet he pushed through it. “But me making full amends and taking full accountability means I need to admit something to all of you. I need it to stay private. To not leave this room.”

He glanced down at Bonnie, who’d sat next to him. She smiled encouragingly, nodding to him.

“I’ve already talked with Bonnie, and we’ve patched things up between us. The first and greatest apology and amends I owed was to her, because of the personal nature of this. Because I used her through the years. Not meaning to hurt her, but trying to protect myself and the band. She deserved far better than that from me.”

Another deep breath. “I’m gay.”

He glanced around the room, waiting, as some of them exchanged confused glances.

It was Garth who finally broke the fragile silence. “So? Is that the big deal?”

“What do you mean?” Mevi asked him.

“I mean exactly that. Your big secret is that you’re gay? Seriously?” He let out a harsh laugh. “Here I was, panicking you were going to reveal you had cancer or something. Fuck, man. Don’t scare us like that. Asshole.”

Many in the room nodded, also looking relieved.

“You…you’re okay with that?”

Troy rolled his eyes and turned to face everyone else. They were all seated around the tables, the main band at the head of a U-shaped arrangement. “All non-straights, hold up your hands. Including you kinky f*cks who frequently ‘experiment.’”

A good half of them did.

“There,” Troy said. “You feel better now? Can we eat?”