Time Out of Mind (Suncoast Society #43)(39)

“Are you okay?”

Mevi nodded, unable to speak.

“Get him onto the couch,” Tilly said. “Cris, are there any water bottles in the fridge?”

Doyle helped him up and a moment later, he lay on the couch, his head in Doyle’s lap and a bottle of water in his hand.

“How long was that?”

Doyle’s fingers stroked his hair. “Over an hour.”

“No!”

Doyle smiled down at him. “That feeling you’re feeling right now is called subspace. Just relax and enjoy it. It’s the whole point.”

After lifting his head to drink several greedy swallows from the bottle, he recapped it and did just that, laying his head back in Doyle’s lap.





Doyle knew the last thing he should do at this point was aftercare. Not when he’d just identified the feelings surging through him.

Don’t. Act. On. Them.

As long as he didn’t do anything about them, he’d still be okay.

Right?

Besides, switching things around at the last-minute might crash Mevi when he was obviously so deep in subspace. If he had to make a decision, he’d rather bear the brunt of it, not Mevi.

But he couldn’t help letting his fingers play with Mevi’s hair. Especially the way the guy nuzzled his hand.

This was new to the man. Every bit of it.

Mevi had finally tapped into something he’d never been able to access before.

Wouldn’t this only help their rapport through the next several weeks?

The important part was Mevi had to be kept sober so he could rebuild his life. Absolutely, the main responsibility for that was squarely on Mevi’s shoulders. He couldn’t walk the recovery path for Mevi.

It also meant if things helped Mevi cope, helped him stay sober, and helped him stay in a healthy mindset, it was Doyle’s obligation to guide him and keep him safe.

Tilly, Landry, and Cris wiped down the bench and cross and implements and repacked Doyle’s bag for him. Tilly mimed to him that they were going to leave them alone before the three of them did just that.

After a few minutes, Mevi started crying. Long, heaving, gasping sobs that ripped at the fabric of Doyle’s being.

He got it. Many people used subspace for cathartic emotional release.

A man like Mevi who’d spent years hiding his truths in plain sight couldn’t help but have some sort of an emotional reaction to all of…this.

To the sudden freedom it gave him to know that he wasn’t alone in the world, and there were people who would accept and love him exactly the way he was.

Even because of who he was.

People like me.

Doyle squeezed his eyes tightly shut and breathed through his own conflict, even as Mevi’s sobs eventually quieted to soft sniffling.

He didn’t rush Mevi. He wanted him to take whatever time he needed to recover. It was the least he could do for him. Finally, about an hour later, the man opened his eyes and stared up at Doyle.

Knowing he shouldn’t, he gently cupped Mevi’s cheek. “Need to talk?”

He slowly nodded. “Not tonight, though. I need to…process.”

Even his voice sounded different now.

Relaxed.

Gentler.

“Are you okay?”

Mevi nodded again. “Is that…normal?”

“There is no normal. Everyone’s different, and the first time can be extremely emotional if you aren’t prepared for it.”

“Thank you for this. For trusting me and for letting me ask.”

“Trust goes both ways. Like I told you at the beginning, I don’t expect perfection from you. I only expect honesty.”

He helped Mevi sit up and the man took a deep breath and finished off the bottle of water. Doyle retrieved another one for him from the small fridge and handed it to him, gathering Mevi’s clothes for him, too.

Mevi’s glazed, distant stare seemed focused on infinity. “I just changed my life, didn’t I?” he quietly asked.

“I think that’s a fair statement, yes.”

“Can we do this again?”

“You’d have to talk to them. I can’t speak for Tilly or her schedule.” Already in his mind he was thinking ahead to Mevi’s birthday, just a couple of weeks away.

Maybe he could arrange something special for him with Tilly.

Once Mevi was dressed and had made use of the pool house’s bathroom, Doyle grabbed his bag and turned off the lights behind them as they returned to the house.

Cris, Landry, and Tilly were on the living room couch, watching TV. When the men approached, they all stood, Cris walking over to open the sliders for them.

“How ya doin’?” Tilly gently asked.

“Good. Thank you.”

She opened her arms to him for a hug and he went.

This time, Doyle was able to suppress his jealousy. He knew Tilly had no interest in Mevi in that way. She was simply trying to help. That’s what she did, one of the reasons she was one of the best damn Tops he’d ever seen in action.

“Can we do that again?”

“Let’s give your body time to heal,” she said. “And your mind time to process. Doyle can give you all my contact info. Feel free to call or text me. We’ll look at one day next week to get together.”