Time Out of Mind (Suncoast Society #43)(33)

Revealing what he suspected Mevi wanted to ask would come perilously close to violating ethical boundaries.

But refusing to help his client wasn’t something Doyle was comfortable with, either.

He stepped closer to Mevi and held his hands out to him. Normally, he avoided too much physical contact with his clients, but in this case, he suspected the man was starved for human touch.

Mevi placed his hands in Doyle’s and Doyle gently squeezed. “Okay,” Doyle softly said. He hadn’t heard anyone else moving around on that floor, but didn’t want to take a chance. “You go first, and then you can ask me anything you want, and I’ll answer it.”

Mevi’s breath hitched in his chest as he stared at their hands. The man’s grip changed, desperate, hard, clutching.

“I’m gay,” he breathed, his eyes dropping closed, tears squeezing out and rolling down his cheeks.

Doyle belatedly realized his response probably wasn’t the best professionally, but this was a fellow human being in pain. He pulled Mevi in for a hug as the man sobbed in his arms.

“It’s okay, buddy,” Doyle said, holding him, stroking his hair. “Let it out. It’s okay. I got you.”

“I’m gay,” he whispered again, sounding pained. “I’m going to be forty and I’m gay. Nobody knows. I used Bonnie to hide it all these years. She doesn’t even know. I lied to women I met and went home with, and didn’t even sleep with them, and…” His voice dissolved into more sobs.

A lot of puzzle pieces now clicked into place for Doyle. Song lyrics seen in a whole new light.

This man and his actions now seen in a whole new light.

And had Mevi not been able to admit this to him, it was almost guaranteed he’d go back to drinking at some point. Maybe Doyle now had a chance to break through and reach him.

When Mevi finally pulled himself together, he nodded, stepping back from Doyle’s embrace. “Sorry,” he said. “I’ve…I mean it. No one knows but you.”

“I can call Tilly and cancel and we can go back to the apartment and talk.”

He shook his head. “No. I want to meet your friends.” He wiped at his eyes again. “If they’re open-minded, maybe that will help me.”

“You sure? She’d understand.”

“I’m sure.” He forced a smile. “Besides, I want to thank her for introducing you and Clark.”

Doyle wasn’t sure if Mevi was just trying to be brave, or if he really meant it. “Your turn.”

Mevi looked confused. “Huh?”

“I agreed to answer a question. Fair’s fair.”

Mevi’s face turned a shade of pink that made Doyle’s inner sadist giggle with glee. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to. You trust me. I want you to understand I have trust in you, too. Ask me anything. The question I suspect you really want to ask me, not something innocuous.”

Mevi’s gaze dropped to the floor. “Why do you have that bag of stuff? What does it mean?”

“I’ll consider that one question because they’re related. I’m kinky. I’m into BDSM. I’m a Dominant.”

Mevi finally looked up. “Like, for money?”

Doyle smiled. “That’s an extra question, but no. It’s part of what led to my divorce. My ex was a little kinky, but not to the level I was. I loved her, but it caused some invisible friction between us because I refused to force her and she knew I was holding back. She wanted kids and I didn’t. When I finally found the courage to admit to her that I was bi, simply because I was tired of keeping that secret, it was sort of the final straw. We divorced amicably. She used to let me play with others sometimes, if she knew the person. People who were masochists. But since I moved to LA I really can’t be involved in the lifestyle out there because of privacy for my clients. I can’t afford to be outed. So, this really is my job on the line by admitting all this to you.”

Mevi slowly nodded. “Thank you for trusting me.”

Doyle reached out and rested a hand on his shoulder. “Now that we have that out in the open, if you have any questions or concerns, feel free to ask me. About being gay, or about this. I’m bi, but I might be able to answer some things. Landry is gay, and he’s very open to talking about sensitive topics. Feel free to ask him. Or, if you’d like, pass it to me and I’ll ask for you.”

For the first time since they’d met, Mevi actually looked…hopeful. “Really?”

“Really. They have a baby daughter, but I’m sure if she’s not in the room they’d be willing to talk.” Once he was sure Mevi was okay, Doyle headed back to his search for his swim trunks.

“Hey, Doyle?”

He turned. “Yeah?”

“Can…can we bring that bag back with us?”

Yellow warning lights flashed in Doyle’s mind. “Why?”

“Because I’m…curious.”

He carefully contemplated his answer before speaking it. “I can’t play with you. That would cross an ethical boundary.”

“I know. I…I have questions.”

He had told Mevi he could trust him. Answering questions wasn’t crossing a boundary, right?

And if it helped the man in his quest for sobriety…could he ethically deny Mevi this?