Time Out of Mind (Suncoast Society #43)(28)

But could he force himself to tear down his own walls?

The thought of living the rest of his life not being authentic ripped at his soul. It would only be a matter of time before he sought the bottle again if he didn’t change. He knew that. He could only change so much about his life before he wouldn’t be able to ignore that fact any longer.

He had to change.

Except…it wasn’t just him. What would coming out do to the band?

How much would Bonnie hate him? Not that he’d blame her.

Finally exhausted, he set everything aside, turned out his light, and tried to sleep.





Doyle had dozed, waking up when Mevi returned upstairs. Then he’d seen the glow of Mevi’s bedroom light as the man apparently worked. At one point he’d quietly walked down the hall, peeking in through the ajar door to see Mevi sitting there on his bed, head down and working. The ear buds meant Mevi hadn’t heard Doyle.

Immediately retreating, he returned to his own bedroom and pushed the door mostly shut. Enough he could still easily see the hallway.

No, he wouldn’t disturb Mevi while he was working, if he could avoid it.

Hoping it meant he could go to sleep now, he lay in bed and closed his eyes.

Unfortunately, sleep wasn’t coming, despite his exhaustion.

And once he’d gone back upstairs he hadn’t rubbed one out in the shower, either.

Fuck it.

Closing his eyes, he pulled the sheet and his sleeping shorts down and fisted his cock. It didn’t take him long to milk pre-cum and slick it down his shaft for lube. Knowing it wasn’t a good idea, he envisioned Mevi, on his knees in front of him, naked and sucking his cock.

Yeesss.

It didn’t take much to get him over, either. Especially when thinking about Mevi.

Which ethically wasn’t good on a number of levels, but if he wanted to sleep, he had to do something.

Once he’d exploded and lay there catching his breath, he swore to be even more cautious around the man. The last thing he wanted Mevi thinking was that he was perving on him.

Even though that was exactly what he was doing.

After going to the bathroom to clean up, he once again settled in bed, and this time, he felt sleep tugging at him.





When Doyle awoke Monday morning, he had to look at his phone to check the time. Eight in the morning, which, translated into LA time, would actually be about the normal time he woke up on a work day at The Compound.

He didn’t hear Mevi moving around.

After using the bathroom, he walked down the hall and listened. Inside Mevi’s room, he heard soft snoring and quickly turned around so he didn’t awaken the man. Instead, he started the coffeemaker. While waiting for it to do its magic, he walked into the living room and started his tai chi form.

Wasn’t as good as doing it at the beach, but he wouldn’t complain. It was the first time in the better part of a week that he’d been able to do it and it felt good to stretch his muscles. In fact, he did it a second time before returning to the kitchen to pour his coffee. After a few sips of the hot, brown sanity juice, he headed to the shower. And he had his first good shave since leaving California.

After he emerged from the shower, he heard the toilet flush next door. He was coming out of his bedroom with the test kit in hand as Mevi emerged from his bedroom, looking half asleep, and wearing only a pair of shorts.

Without a word, Mevi held out his hand for the tester and Doyle handed it to him before going to the kitchen to top off his coffee.

Mevi followed. With that out of the way, Mevi poured his coffee and slid onto a barstool at the counter.

“What’s on today’s schedule?”

“Grocery shopping. After that, nothing.”

“Am I allowed to go with you?”

“If we do it early enough, sure. Less chance of someone recognizing you if we do it early. Monday morning, people are probably at work and the store won’t be crowded.”

“Then let’s do it.”

“Did you want to eat breakfast first?”

Mevi shrugged.

“Are you all right?”

“I didn’t sleep well. Lots of stuff rattling around in my brain.” His smile looked forced. “It’ll pass.”

“Then I guess we can go whenever you’re ready.”

They were in the car twenty minutes later, Mevi wearing sunglasses against the morning glare. “It’s bright out,” he muttered.

“It’s Florida.”

“I thought California was sunny.”

Doyle laughed. “It’s Florida,” he repeated.

There was a Publix nearby and as Doyle grabbed a cart in the parking lot and walked it in, Mevi fell into step beside him.

“Any restrictions?” he asked Doyle.

“I think you know the answer to that.”

“Just checking. And I meant food, not booze. Duh.” He let out a sigh that sounded so sad Doyle almost stopped to talk to him right there. “I’m going to tie a knot in my rope and hang on, no matter how hard it feels. I can’t fail.”

“That’s a good attitude to have. Just don’t forget I’m here. You’re not alone.”

“I know, but you can’t be with me for the rest of my life so I need to learn how to deal with this.”