Through Glass(49)

Sarah smiled at me as she sat down on the cluttered linoleum of the grocery store directly across from me. She flipped her head, letting her long ponytail swish down her back. It was weird, everything was different, but with the way she looked at me, it was like nothing had changed.

“How are you… are you okay… wow… I mean...” I just looked at her as she rambled, her arms folded in front of her as if she was cold. It was so like her to ramble. Of course Sarah used to be a bit better at forming coherent sentences, but I guess given the situation it was expected.

“Sarah?” I asked uncertainly, not knowing what to say, what the proper greeting was in a situation like this. Somehow, have you killed any monsters lately didn’t seem to fit.

Her eyes snapped back to mine at her name, her eyes widening as if she was as confused as I was.

“So, I was thinking,” Sarah said, the confusion in her eyes only growing, “We should do a double. I’ll take Luke and you should invite Cohen.”

“I’m sorry?” I asked, my nerves jumping at what she had just said.

I couldn’t be sure, but it sounded familiar, like what she had told me one of the last times I had talked to her. Exactly the same. The infliction, the tone. It was as though she had just played back a recording. I felt a prickle of fear at the thought before she started talking again, her voice changing and taking my agitation with it.

“The last time I saw you, remember?” she asked, but I could only nod in agreement.

It was, I knew it was, but how she’d said it… like someone had pressed play on my mind and her memories. I shrugged the ridiculous thought away, hating how paranoid I was sounding.

“How are you here, Alexis?” Sarah began, interrupting my thoughts. “How are you alive?” she whispered, her body leaning toward me as she continued to hug herself around her middle. “I mean, they cleared out our neighborhood years ago… how are you still alive?”

“Cleared out?” I whispered, trying to make sense of what she had said. Of course, it must have been the cannons I had heard on the first day, the screaming. They had killed everyone. Everyone, except Cohen and I.

“I… just…” I tried to form coherent words, but nothing came as bigger questions clouded my ability to speak.

For years we had watched as the people in the houses around us tried to escape, as the Ulama had murdered everyone around us. Yet, we were spared. It wasn’t just because we stayed inside; we had watched them emerge from other houses. We didn’t even hear the fight of the battle. They just emerged, their cry wild after a job well done. They had taken everyone, everyone other than Cohen and I. Why were we spared? This wasn’t the first time I had asked the question—the first time I had wondered—but now, looking at Sarah, walking around in the dark, I was beginning to wonder why we were only jailed inside of our own houses. Why were we allowed to live?

The few words I had been able to conjure up faded into nothing, however Sarah didn’t seem to care. She simply went on talking like she was on autopilot, just like always.

“What happened to you?” she asked. I felt a twinge of guilt join the confusing emotions I was already bogged down with. I wasn’t sure; should I have told Sarah all about Cohen and what had happened? I should have been able to do that with my best friend, but I couldn’t. The words were still stuck inside of me, the confusion and fear keeping them there.

I had apparently closed myself off so much that I didn’t even want to talk to my best friend.

“I don’t know,” I said simply. It had been so long since I had an actual conversation that I was having trouble piecing together what to say. I merely looked at her, her skin sickly grey in the darkness.

“I can’t believe it... after all this time, you’re still…” She faded off again and I could only nod. I knew exactly how she was feeling. This whole meeting was surreal. Of all the people to find alive, of all the people to run into, it was Sarah. I couldn’t help it, I laughed. The small laugh seeped through my lips at the strange absurdity of the situation.

I expected Sarah to join me, but she didn’t, instead her head whipped around dangerously as if she expected someone to jump out at us. The look on her face stung, the harsh reminder of where we were unwelcome. The laugh died in my throat and Sarah turned to stare into me, the intensity of her look sending shivers up my spine and I didn’t know why.

“How are you out? How have they not gotten you?” I asked as she leaned forward, papers and old plastic packaging crinkling under her knees.

“I don’t know,” she sighed, her head shaking as her arms clung to her sides. “They stopped chasing people a while ago. It was like they just didn’t care anymore. This area has been empty for years. I was here just looking for food. How are you… out?”

“I’ve been in my house. I never left,” I said, suddenly feeling like my excuses were inadequate. Maybe I should have just left, fought, and been with Cohen, but I had seen the flash of talons, watched the murders. The images of that first day had never faded, they were still imprinted inside of me. None of those people had any chance to live then and I had no reason to assume I would.

“They told me to stay, they brought food…” I continued, my lame reasoning fading off as Sarah interrupted me.

“You ate the food…” Her hand jutted out from where she had kept it wrapped around her, her hand resting on my shoulder awkwardly.