This Time Around (Maybe #2)(4)

“Eyes up here, Ryan,” she says, pursing her pink lips.

“That’s twice in a week you’ve dropped by, Taiya. You miss me?” I ask. My voice is teasing but laced with hope. A man can dream, right?

“Yeah, like a disease. My lawyer just rang and said you didn’t sign the papers,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. I try not to glance down at her breasts but fail.

“That is correct, yes.” I didn’t sign them, and I don’t intend on signing them. That piece of paper is the last thing holding us together, our last tie. No way in hell I’m going to sever it. I’m going to hold on for as long as I can.

“You said you would take care of it,” she says accusingly.

I sigh and turn to the fridge behind me, reaching down to pull out her favourite soft drink. I place it in front of her, and then continue the conversation, “I lied.”

“Yes, you seem to make a habit of that, don’t you, Ryan?” she says with a scoff, pushing away the drink with her hand, rejecting my peace offering. She taps her glittery nails on the table, her eyes... daring me. To say what? I have no idea what’s going on in that head of hers right now, but I intend to find out. I used to know what she’s thinking, know her better than herself, but right now, she has me stumped. I’m looking forward to getting to know her all over again, inside and out. I can’t keep my eyes off her. I think I could stare at her for hours, noticing subtle changes since I last saw her. Smiling at things that are exactly the same. My eyes are hungry for the sight of her.

Wanting something so badly, having it right in front of me but not being able to touch it? Hell on Earth.

“I never lied to you, Taiya,” I tilt my head. “I was going to sign them. Until I changed my mind. And I’ve never lied to you in the past, if you want to get into that right now.”

“I’m good, thanks,” she says quietly, glancing around the bar. “Nice place.”

“Thanks,” I say softly. Taiya was with me when we bought the bar, and for the grand opening. It’s changed a fair bit since then, as we made more money to do it up. “Did you find an apartment?”

Her eyes flare, surprised. “How did you know I was out looking?”

“Stopped by your house but you were gone. You know I have plenty of room at my place,” I offer, adding a charming smile and a raised eyebrow.

Her lip twitches. Such a small gesture, yet the best I’ve gotten so far. I’m considering it progress. “Sure, live with my ex-husband. I’m sure that’s a great idea,” she says sarcastically.

“Husband,” I correct.

“What?”

“I’m not your ex-husband. I’m your husband,” I repeat.

She lifts her shoulder in a shrug, trying to play it off like she doesn’t care, but I don’t miss the flash of anger in her eyes. “You don’t act like my husband, and a piece of paper doesn’t change that.”

“Ouch,” I say, putting my hand over my heart. “I’m glad a piece of paper doesn’t change anything for you, because I’m not signing those papers.”

She is silent for a moment before she responds. “You never used to be this selfish, Ryan,” she says softly, looking down into her drink. My heart hurts in that moment; the pressure actually burns.

“Yeah, well, I used to have you,” I reply quietly, now looking down myself. When I glance up at her, she’s already watching me. Her eyes speak for her, letting me see much more than she would ever say out loud. I hurt her enough that it perhaps changed her, but my Taiya is still standing in front of me.

“You’re going to put this on me?” she says, wrinkling her nose. My hand aches to reach out and touch her, to run my finger along the curve of her jaw, my thumb across the bottom of her lip. But I don’t. She’s not ready for that… yet.

“No. Does it matter?” I ask her, my eyes darting to the door as a customer walks in. She turns her head to follow my line of sight, giving me a glimpse of the tattoo behind her ear. The letter R she got tattooed right after I proposed to her. The letter is in the centre of an infinity sign, and has a little red heart connected to it.

“Sign the papers, Ryan,” she says, sounding resigned. I reach out and trace her tattoo with my finger. She shivers at my touch, before pulling away so she’s out of my reach.

“We can talk about it over dinner,” I suggest, needing to be around her anyway I can. When it comes to her, I will take whatever I can get. She purses her lips but doesn’t say yes or no, just flashes me a curious look as she turns to walk out. My eyes follow her until she leaves my sight.

*****

“What are you doing here?” Taiya asks as she open the door to her house.

I try to hide my nervousness and put on a smile. “Last night, you said we could talk. Over dinner.”

She gapes. “No, you said we could talk over dinner. I didn’t respond. My silence was a no.”

“Well, you should have been clearer.”

“How much clearer could I have been? I don’t want to have dinner with you, Ryan. What are we going to do? Reminisce on the old times? Like when you ripped my heart out and stomped on it? That’s a good place to start,” she says, hurting me with each word.

I swallow before answering, “We had good times too.”