This Time(42)

"What decision?"

Belle sighed. "That I am not for you. You are not for me."

"I disagree," Burke countered.

"You can disagree all you want."

"So, that's it? You're not going to even try to give us a second chance." Burke dropped his hand and stood next to Belle, back to the wall.

Belle faced him, trembling, her hands balled into fists as she tried to control her emotion. "Try? Take a chance. You just don't get it do you? I can't risk it, Burke. I still love--" Belle stopped mid-sentence as she heard her own words. The blood drained from her face as she realized what she almost confessed.

Burke's eyes probed hers for one long, revealing moment.

"I gotta go," she said, hurrying out the door.

He chased after her. "Don't go. Finish what you were saying. You were about to say you love me, weren't you? Belle--"

She climbed into the truck and started the engine. "I'll see you, Burke," she said, grinding the gears as she shifted into first.

He clung to the driver side door, keeping her from pulling away. "Have dinner with me. Tonight. Eight o'clock."

Belle focused on the steering wheel for a few minutes, praying for wisdom and guidance, the hum of the engine in her ears. Reason told her not to go, she would only risk her heart. But love urged her on. Truth be told, she ached to be with him, tired of being cold and cautious. Her heart desperately wanted to say yes, but her head still refused.

She surrendered to the Lord in prayer. Lord, what should I do?

In the next instant, a thought flashed across her mind. Let go. Trust him. Trust Me in him.

I can't.

You can't or you won't?

The Lord's prompting struck a deep cord in Belle's soul. For the first time, she realized she could let go, but pride and fear kept her from doing so. In a small way, she wanted to hang on to the pain Burke inflicted upon her. She wanted to punish him, and resisting his overtures seemed to be her subtle way of reminding him of what he did to her.

Suddenly, she felt ashamed of her attitude and stubborn behavior. What did she have to gain by carrying on the charade? Truth be told, she wanted to explore the bounds of their relationship again. She wanted to be with him. She wanted to let go.

Lord, forgive me. I let go. You are in control and I trust you.

A slight smile lit her face as she shifted her focus, her gaze landing on Burke's face. "Yes," she said, barely above a whisper. "Yes."

***

From the moment she said yes, Burke knew they'd turned a corner. He'd been praying for weeks about how to woo Belle, the Lord constantly reminding him to love in adversity and to show mercy.

So, patiently and subtly he pursued her, making his presence known, yet careful not to overstep his bounds.

Then, in one miraculous moment, it all came together. As Burke showered and dressed for the evening, he mused on how he almost missed the ride into town with Dean.

It was a Saturday, and he'd been working with his contractor to finalize plans for remodeling his house and reviewing an architect's drawings for a new garage and barn. Dean's call came just as they concluded their business.

"Ride into town?" Burke repeated his brother's question.

"Yeah, I got to pick up supplies at Martin's. Thought you could keep me company."

He hesitated, feeling tired, looking forward to kicking back on the couch and clicking on the stereo. He'd also toyed with the idea of a work out. His basement weight room had just been completed, and he had yet to try out the new equipment. He also had planned to call Belle.

Yet, it would be good to visit with Dean. It'd been awhile, and the errand wouldn't take more than a couple of hours. "Sure," he finally agreed. That one decision changed the course of his whole evening.

He searched his closet for something to wear, deciding on a pair of navy cashmere slacks and a cream, long sleeve, collarless pullover.

He talked to the Lord as he slipped on a pair of brown suede shoes. "Father, thanks for setting this up with Belle. Please, give her peace. Give me wisdom so that I don't say or do the wrong thing. I want her to know how much I love her."

He went to the dresser and slipped on his watch. Seven forty-five.

Better get going, Benning. He snatched up his wallet and yanked his chocolate colored leather jacket from its hanger.

As he drove to the Bar J, he felt relaxed, peaceful, full of joy.

Belle opened the front door after one ring of the bell and nearly took his breath away. Her delicate smile lit the strong lines of her face and her short hair accentuated high, smooth cheeks.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she said, her smile fading as she surveyed his appearance. "You're dressed up."

Burke glanced down at his clothes. Dressing up for a night out had gotten to be such a habit, he didn't think about how different customs were in simple Haskell. Belle wore boots, a pair of light blue jeans and a dark red V-neck sweater.

"It's okay, I'll go change," he offered, eager to make her feel comfortable.

Belle sighed, still standing in the doorway. "This isn't going to work, Burke. We've changed too much. Look. You're ready for a night in the big city. I'm ready for a burger at Charlie's."

He encouraged her. "Nothing we can't overcome. Come on, I'll go change."