This Time(40)

"I left because I got scared, because I listened to my head instead of my heart."

"Okay, so you got scared. But since then, you've become a world-class athlete. A celebrity. And a famous, beautiful actress captured a piece of your heart, if only for a moment. You can't just throw all that away and return to a simple, small town kind of existence we have in Haskell."

"I don't want to forget where I've been. But I don't want to forget where I came from either. Both worlds are a part of who I am, now."

"But I'm part of the past, part of who you were, not who you are."

Burke reached for her hand and walked her to the porch swing. When they sat down, he started. "I remember a balmy spring day in third grade when I raced onto the playground with my buddies, my Christmas football tucked under my arm. We were choosing teams when I noticed a pretty, brown-haired girl with skinny legs and pigtails struggling to get going on the swings."

She turned away from him. "I was there, remember?"

He continued as if she hadn't interrupted him. "Suddenly, I became torn between my friends, the game, and my desire to help you. You captured my nine-year-old heart that day. Just as Bobby Jacobs kicked off, I made the most unusual decision."

She laughed softly. "You left the game."

"Yes, to be with you."

"That swing set had me so frustrated. All the seats were either too low or too high."

Burke chuckled, thinking back to the old playground. "I never made it back to the game. I got teased mercilessly for helping you, but I never regretted my decision." He gently touched her chin with his fingers and turned her face toward him. "You know, I believe I've left the game for you again."

"Not for me. For you, for the Lord."

"And for you, Belle. You're part of why He brought me home."

She got up and walked to the porch rail. Rain clouds gathered in the distance, and a cool breeze danced through the trees and whistled under the eves. "Why me?"

He started slowly, careful of his words, not willing to overwhelm her with the deep intent of his heart. "To give us a second chance," he said casually.

"During the summer I thought maybe I still loved you. I wondered if you could love me again." She stopped and shook her head. "But now, I know we can never go back to what we once had. Let's just call it healed and done with, Burke. We'll greet each other at church and around town and get on with our lives."

He stood beside her, gazing down into her fabulous face. "I won't get very far in life without you."

The porch light suddenly flicked on, and Duke stuck his head out the door. "Well, there ya are Belle. I was a wonderin'. Burke, how're you?"

"I'm good, Duke, thanks. How's that leg healing?"

"Got my cast off day before yesterday, but I'm still a bit sore and hobblin' around."

"You be sure to take it easy and let that leg heal."

Duke tipped his head in appreciation. "Will do," he looked at Belle, "I got dinner ready. You kids' hungry?" He glanced between them.

"I'll be right there, Daddy."

"Burke, come on in and join us."

He looked at Belle who stood stiffly with her arms crossed and her eyes fixed forward. "No thanks, Duke. Another time."

"Anytime, son." He left quickly, leaving the door slightly ajar.

"I'd better get inside," she said.

"Can I call you later?"

"It's a free country."

He reached for her. "Can I call you later?" he asked again, searching her eyes for an answer her lips might not express.

She leaned away from him, pulling against his hold. In one brisk sentence she said, "Do what you want."





Chapter Nineteen





"All right, Belle, is that it?" Russell Martin asked as he dumped the last bag of feed into her truck.

She stood on the boardwalk in front of the Martin Feed Store and scanned her list in the October day's fading light. Long angles of light streamed across the faded boards and the pointed toes of her boots. The breeze blew across her face with a sharp chill. "That'll do it, Russ," she said, sliding the white slip of paper into her hip pocket.

"Put in on your account?"

"Please," she said.

"Will do. You see the game last night?" Russ said, leaning on the side of the truck, a toothy smile on his face. "My boy's starting defensive tackle."

Belle nodded, pleased. "I heard."

"I ain't seen you at any of the games."

"Been busy." She searched her jacket pockets for her truck keys.

"Burke's doin' a fine job with those boys. Gonna be state champions, or my name ain't Russell Martin."

"Takes a lot to be state champions." Belle answered by rote, still concentrating on the search for her keys. She checked inside the truck.

"Yer keys are inside on the counter," Russell said between sentences about the football team.

She looked over at him. His round face sported a wide, toothy grin. "Thanks, Russell."

He followed her inside, rambling on about the Haymakers and their fine new coach.