This Is Falling(61)

“Oh, sorry. I was just waiting for you to get back. Really nice to meet you Rowe,” Sadie says, sliding past me and kneeling in the aisle while I take my seat next to Rowe. “I wanted to let you know my parents are coming up in a couple weeks for our home match up with Oklahoma. They’d love to see you I’m sure. Just…if you can make it.”

“Thanks, I have a few fall tournaments coming up, so I don’t know if I can make it. But…we’ll see,” I say, trying to be polite. That’s the problem—I’m too damn polite, and I can tell I said the wrong thing again by the way Rowe’s weight shifts next to me.

“Okay, well, hope you can make it.” Her legs are almost in my lap when she stands to walk away, and I notice Rowe’s eyes grow wide just looking at them. Sadie is extremely attractive, and she’s confident. Hell, she used to intimidate me. But she’s nothing compared to Rowe. I just have to make Rowe understand that.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think she’d come talk to you while I was gone.” My voice sounds pathetic and meek—it’s not enough.

“She’s nice,” she says, her eyes so goddamned sad. Rowe won’t even look at me, and when I offer her a Red Vine, she just sighs and holds up a hand.

They introduce the OSU team during halftime, and the announcer does a brief interview with Sadie and a few of the other players. She looks my direction a few times, and I can tell she wants to make sure I’m watching, but this time I keep my hands in my lap and my attention anywhere but her.

“I think I wanna go home early. Is…is that okay?” They’re the first words Rowe has said to me directly in almost an hour, and I react instantly.

“Whatever you want,” I say, pulling my sweatshirt back over my head and putting my hand along her back to guide her out through the aisle. When we get to the stairs, she shirks my touch, and it stings.

The first half of the car ride is filled with more silence. I smile at her quietly, and she gives me a fake smile in return, but I know the truth behind her eyes. I hurt her, and being there in front of Sadie made her uncomfortable, and I didn’t handle it well. I just didn’t know how to make it better.

“Look, Rowe. I’m really sorry we ran into Sadie. I…I don’t really know what to say. It was just really awkward.” She laughs once, rolling her eyes and looking out her window. “I know, I should have just ignored her or cut the conversation off quickly, but I’m not good at being an *.”

“I don’t know, Nate. I think you’ve got * down pat,” she says, her eyes on me for the first time all night. She’s pissed, but she’s talking to me, so I’ll take it.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I say, taking in another deep breath. “I’m really sorry.”

“You called me your friend, Nate.” She’s actually yelling now. We’re pulling into the lot at school, and all I want to do is stay here in this car and figure things out, but the moment I put it in park, she opens her door and slams it in my face.

“I know. I just panicked. I didn’t want to hurt Sadie’s feelings, flaunting my relationship in her face,” I start, but Rowe spins around to face me, her hand flat on my chest to keep an arm’s distance between us.

“You didn’t want to hurt her feelings?” she says, letting out a breathy laugh that’s laced with tears. “You didn’t want to hurt your ex-girlfriend’s feelings—the girl who cheated on you with your best friend. The one you told me you fell out of love with and never looked back. That’s…wow. That’s truly amazing and kind of you, Nate…to think of her feelings like that.”

“There’s a history there…and I just froze. I haven’t talked to her in months, and I just didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.” Shit! I’m making this worse.

Rowe starts walking away, laughing loudly now with her arms in the air. I’m a good ten paces behind her—my feet glued to the sidewalk with guilt—when she turns around one last time at the door.

“Well, good for you, Nate. I’m glad you were able to spare her feelings. But man…you sure f*cked-over mine.” She’s through the door in an instant, and I just let her go, because I need time to figure out how to say the meaningful words Rowe needs to hear—the things I desperately need to say but can’t seem to articulate. Clearly, my brain needs recalibrating because it has done nothing but make the wrong move for the last two hours.





Me: Home early. Wanna grab a beer at Sally’s?

Ty: Be right down. Saw Rowe in the hall. I’m guessing you’ll fill me in.

Me: Yeah, it’s gonna take a few beers to fix this.

Ty: You’re buying.

Me: Naturally.





Chapter 22





Rowe





“Well, last night could not have gone any worse,” I say while Cass finishes getting ready for her Friday morning class. She’s half the girly girl Paige is, but she still takes a while getting ready every morning.

“Okay, walk me through this again. So you two ran into his ex, and he said you were his friend,” Cass peeks her head around the corner while she holds her hair up on her head, poking a pin in the side.

“Yep, that’s pretty much it.”