This Is Falling(60)

The parking lot is packed, so we find a spot near the roadway. We have to walk far, but at least the exit is close, assuming a line of traffic doesn’t block our car in when we leave. The closer we get to the entrance, the tighter Rowe is holding my hand, until eventually my knuckles are actually turning white.

“Rowe, we don’t have to do this. I would be just as happy spending the next hour driving home with you, and then we can stop to get Sally’s or something,” I say, my heart breaking from the terrified look in her eyes as we stand along the sidewalk while hundreds of people pass us. The crowd is so thick, people bump into our shoulders, and Rowe closes her eyes every time it happens.

“Come on, what do you say?” I ask, urging her, almost begging her, to let us leave. Her mouth opens slightly, and she’s about ready to speak, when a voice fills the space behind me.

“Nate? Preeter? Is that…you?”

You have to f*cking be kidding me? My heart has just lodged itself into that uncomfortable place in my throat, the spot that makes it hard to talk or breathe. The look on Rowe’s face has shifted from terrified to confused, and in a split second I see the suspicion take over her face—and she’s right.

“Sadie. Wow,” I say, turning to fully take in the all-too-familiar vision in front of me. She’s wearing a pair of really short black shorts and black heels. She’s my height, maybe an inch taller than me in those shoes; while I see in her eyes the girl I gave my everything to in high school, her body is different—older, more…f*ck, I don’t know. Just more.

“What are you doing here?” she says, reaching for me to give me a hug. I let go of Rowe’s hand to hug her back, but when I reach for Rowe again, her hands are stuffed deep in her pockets. Shit!

“Oh, it’s…well, a late birthday celebration, I guess? We just came for the game,” I sound like an idiot. I’m too panicked to even think straight, and I wish like hell Rowe would give me her damn hand again. “Mom and Dad said you’re playing for OSU?”

“Yeah, it was just a really great opportunity. That’s what I’m doing here tonight. They’re announcing us at halftime—some publicity something or whatever,” she says, her eyes drifting over my shoulder every few seconds while she talks, and eventually my brain gets the message.

“Cool. Oh, this is my friend Rowe. We met at McConnell.” I know they’re the wrong words the second the sound of my own voice hits my ears, but it’s like an avalanche—I pushed a rock from the top of the mountain, and now all I can do is watch it tear down the snow in its path. The two girls—the only two I have ever cared about—are shaking hands in front of me, and the one I love is giving me a glance that says I just broke her heart.

“Well, I’ve gotta go catch up with the girls. Maybe I’ll see ya again,” Sadie says, reaching to give me one more hug. I don’t know what to do with my arms, and all I can think about is how I can signal to Rowe that this—that Sadie—is meaningless, despite the massive mess that just spilled out of my mouth.

“Let’s go get our seats,” Rowe says, brushing past me and following in Sadie’s wake. On the bright side, her fears seem to be gone. There isn’t a trace of the nervous girl I was worried about just a few minutes ago. But something cold has definitely filled her space, and it’s my damn fault.

We get to our seats, and I notice Sadie is sitting across from us with her team. She waves at us, and I hold up a hand to signify that I do in fact see her too. Seriously, universe—not cool. Not cool!

Rowe’s arms are covered in goosebumps, and I know she’s cold, so I offer her my sweatshirt, but she just shrugs me off and says she’s fine. She doesn’t even fake a smile. She shivers through the entire first quarter, just to prove a damn point.

“Rowe, please. Just take my sweatshirt,” I say, pulling it over my head and handing it to her.

“I would kind of rather die,” she says, her smile a tight flat line. Fuck.

“I’m going to get something to drink. You want something?” I say, standing, almost ready to run I’m so uncomfortable. Rowe just shakes her head no and crosses her legs in the other direction. I let out a heavy sigh and make my way to the aisle. At least she seems comfortable with the crowd.

While I wait in a line that literally wraps around the building’s insides, I pull out my phone to text Ty.





Me: You’re never going to believe what happened.

Ty: You ran into Sadie.

Me: Uh, how’d you know?

Ty: I’m watching the game with Cass. They did an interview with the OSU coach before the game, and the team was in the background.

Me: Super.

Ty: I’m guessing it didn’t go well?

Me: I’m pretty sure Rowe wants to choke me. Or punch me. Or both.

Ty: Should she?

Me: Probably.

Ty: Tell her I’ll hold you down.

Me: Thanks.

Ty: Hey, that’s what brothers are for. Oh, and Sadie looks hot.

Me: Not helping.

Ty: Didn’t say I was good at helping. Just holding you down for beatings.

Me: Thanks…again

Ty: Anytime





I order a large soda and some Red Vines and make my way back to our seats a few minutes before halftime. Of course, just to make sure I feel the full brunt of the universe’s punishment for me, when I turn down our row, Sadie is now sitting in my seat—talking to Rowe.