Things Liars Say (#ThreeLittleLies #1)(14)

Cal: No.

Grey: Allan Thouroughgood

Cal: Oh my god.

Grey: Randolph Christian Kuttnauer

Cal: WHERE the HELL are you coming up with these?

Grey: Those don’t sound regal to you? Or manly?

Cal: No.

Grey: I’ve got it!!! Dark Gray Keller.

Cal: LOLOL Okay. I’ll admit, that one was funny.

Grey: :) I try. TRY. GET IT? GET IT???

Cal: Honestly, Grey. What am I going to do with you…

Grey: I might have some suggestions.

Cal: No comment.





To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: We’re becoming THAT couple ;) haha

Calvin,

You’re not still mad about the tweet, are you? Believe me—I got as much shit from my friends as you probably did. Apparently, when you publically call someone Sweetie Pooh, it makes people want to toss their cookies inside their preppy monogram tote bags. Or so I’ve been told. Multiple times. Jemma, your roommate’s cousin, has been getting the scoop on you from Mason, and now she wants me to stay away from you. Says you’re only going to break my heart because you don’t “do” relationships. Oh, and you’re a total dickhead. (Mason’s words, not mine). Oddly enough, I ended up defending you like this charade is real. What’s THAT all about?! Grey





To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Admit it. I’m growing on you.

Greyson. No, I’m not still mad. Actually, I wasn’t mad to begin with, just surprised. Want to know the truth? I don’t actually mind the teasing. What’s THAT all about? - Calvin





To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Bats in the Belfry

Dear Calvin,

Do you realize we’ve been emailing and texting for over three weeks now? Every time I giggle at my phone—at something YOU said—my roommates and sisters give me the weirdest looks. At this point there is no doubt they think you’re real. It’s going to make things that much more awkward when Gala night arrives. I cannot wait for this thing to be over. Which reminds me, pretty soon I’m going to have to publicly break up with you. Don’t worry, it will be mutual, even though having a real life boyfriend would have been handy last night. We had a BAT in our house. I swear to God, Calvin, the screaming coming from Melody… My eardrums shattered. WHAT? Did you say something? I CAN’T HEAR YOU! We must have called our landlord five times, and he never showed up. Finally, Beth, my other roommate, called one of the guys from our brother fraternity, and not one but THREE of them showed up—three of us, three of them. See how they planned that?—with tennis rackets, of course, like THAT was a smart idea. One of the brothers kept asking all these questions about you. His name is Dylan, and if he touched my leg once he touched it six times while grilling me about you. Or the Cal I made up. Anyway, he kept telling me about how long-distance relationships never work. I wanted to smack him. Grey. PS: The bat is gone. FOR NOW.





To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RE: Bats in the Belfry

WHAT THE FUCK, GREYSON? I don’t even know where to start. How does a fake boyfriend respond to an email like that? I can’t come pound some dude’s face in because he touched you just like I can’t beat your landlord’s ass for not showing up to kill a bat—and that infuriates me. I’m going to take a deep breath here and calm the f*ck down for a second. – Calvin





To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: There’s only room for ONE (fake) boyfriend in my life.

Cal,

I’m sorry I upset you. It really wasn’t that big of a deal. I mean, yes, Dylan kind of upset me, but he wasn’t doing it intentionally. Well… okay. That’s a lie because he was obviously hitting on me pretty hard and CLEARLY trying to badmouth you. Or the OTHER Cal. LOL. It makes me—I don’t know—happy that you care enough to get mad. Who knew that we would become FRIENDS? Life is crazy, isn’t it? Just in the middle of cooking dinner here, but I wanted to send you a quick note. What time is your match tomorrow? Grey.





To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Wasted man meat.

Grey. What did you end up making for dinner? I bet it was better than what we had—or didn’t have. We bought a few choice steak filets that Mason immediately burned the CRAP out of on the grill. Charred. Fifty bucks flushed down the shitter, and he kept blaming the charcoal. Our game tomorrow starts at 6pm, and it’s 80 minutes—two 40-minute halves, obviously. Have you ever been to one? This match is going to set the tone for our entire season. Aaron has his sights set on a professional team in Ireland after graduation and has a good chance at being signed. We’ve been friends since middle school, so his level of play is surreal, even for me. I love the kid like a brother and I’m really proud of him. I swear to God, Grey, if you ever repeat that… - Cal





To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Sisterhoods and Bromances