The You I've Never Known(69)
“I’m Ariel Pearson.”
No.
“He’s Mark Pearson.”
No.
“You can’t be my mother.”
Except.
There was Dad’s reaction.
Except.
This woman has no reason to lie.
Except.
There’s something about her voice.
Except.
She looks like me.
And now it’s my turn to sway.
Why Now?
That’s what I want to know.
Why here? Why today?
But all I manage to say is,
“I don’t understand. Dad . . . ?”
Immediately, Dad pushes
between Maya and me.
Ariel, you get in your car and leave here right now.
Don’t say another word.
Everyone moves at once.
Zelda, toward Dad.
Spiky hair, between him and Maya.
Monica, to my right.
Gabe and Syrah, who can’t help but notice the commotion,
start across the parking lot.
“Why are you here?” I demand.
Casey . . .
“My name is Ariel.”
No. It’s not. It’s Casey Baxter, and I’m your mom. I’ve been looking for you for fifteen years, ever since he kidnapped you.
It was only a fluke that I found you.
It’s a lie! thunders Dad.
Don’t you listen to her.
She’ll just hurt you again.
Go, Ari . . . I’ll take care of this.
He tries to circle Spiky, but she and Zelda form a wall
between him and Maya,
who reaches out for me.
I jerk my arm away.
“Leave me alone! What
do you want from me?”
All I want is the chance to be your mom. Please.
Shut the fuck up, you cheating whore, and leave my daughter alone. Get out of here, Ariel. I mean it.
Or what, Jason? You going to hurt her? Does he hurt you, Casey? Because if he does— “Stop calling me Casey!
Who the hell do you think
you are? You can’t just show up out of the blue, fifteen damn years without a single word, pretending to be my mom.
You are not my mom. A real
mom does not desert her kid
and run off with her girlfriend. . . .”
At that, Maya looks down
and Spiky slides an arm around her shoulders, confirmation.
See? demands Dad. See?
She never gave a damn about you. Only about her.
Oh, Casey. That’s not true.
I’ve never, ever stopped loving you or searching— “Screw you! I don’t want you in my life. I’ve never had a mom, and I don’t need one now!”
Goddamn it. I’m crying.
Tears stream from my puffing eyes, down my superheated
cheeks. I must look like shit, not that I care, because
I definitely feel like a huge steaming mound of crap.
Leering Faces
Masks
of real people
surround me in
a wide semicircle.
I glance face to face to face.
Maya looks pummeled.
Spiky looks sad.
Zelda looks stunned.
My friends look confused.
Dad looks ready to detonate.
And when Maya lifts her eyes from the ground,
meeting mine to beg compassion, he does.
I will kill you, bitch!
He lunges toward her, hands outstretched as if seeking her neck, and I scream, “No, Dad, stop!”
This time it’s Gabe who steps in.
Hold it right there, Mark.
You wouldn’t really hurt her, would you? Let’s work this out like civilized people.
Dad Looks More
Like a caged wolf.
Wary. Confused.
Bone-deep pissed.
Hatred shimmers
in his eyes.
Also fear.
And like a trapped animal, fear makes him dangerous.
Still, he pretends courage.
Get out of my way, kid.
I ain’t afraid of you.
He steps into Gabe, swinging wildly.
But Dad has grown
slow and is out of practice.
Gabe steps to one side and Dad’s momentum carries him too far forward.
He goes down on one knee as everyone else scatters.
I don’t want to hurt you, Mark. Don’t get up.
Dad doesn’t understand the danger, springs to his feet.
I picture Garrett and Keith, just last night.
“No, no, no, no, no!”
I Can’t Watch
I turn.
Run for my car.
Don’t look back.
Don’t look back.
People shout my name.
Ariel!
Casey!
Who am I?
Who am I?
“Leave me alone!”
Don’t follow me.
Don’t follow me.
What just happened?
What the fuck
just happened?
I don’t get it.
I don’t get it.
I jam the keys in the ignition.
Start, car, start.
It does, no problem, despite my quaking hands.
The space in front is empty. I gun the car, barely glancing at the group splintering in different directions.