The Yellow Rose Beauty Shop (Cadillac, Texas #3)(65)

“Good God!”

“Oh, yeah. We’ll get some garlic and a roadkill armadillo and perform an exorcist thing on your house if he don’t reclaim his spirit and leave you alone. We’ll put butcher knives into an effigy of him and send the video right to his e-mail box,” Stella said.

“You know how superstitious he is. That would cause him to have an acute coronary.” Piper laughed.

“If he dies, he dies. Oh, I can’t watch this part without crying. Shelby should have never gotten pregnant,” Stella said.

“She lived the way she wanted to. It took risks but she did it,” Piper said.

“Hey, shove them words right back into your mouth and eat them. Rhett wants to take you out and you’re afraid to take that little risk.”

“Sometimes I don’t like you,” Piper said.

“You are evil and you must be destroyed,” Stella quoted from the movie.

“You can’t be Ouiser. Agnes is Ouiser. You have to be Annelle.”

“Hell if I will. I don’t pray if the elastic in my panties is shot”—Stella quoted lines from the movie—“and I damn sure wouldn’t ever pour out a good can of beer. I’ll be Clairee but I’m not being Annelle. Besides, I’m not tall enough. You can be Annelle.”

The giggle started low in Piper’s chest but soon it was a full-fledged laugh that would have put a three-hundred-pound trucker to shame. “She is divorced and the elastic in my panties is shot and I am tall like her,” she said when she could catch her breath.

Charlotte pulled a suitcase inside and quickly shut the door. “What is going on in here? I thought someone was crying or dying.”

Stella put the movie on pause. “Holy shit! Did you and Boone break up?”

“No, but Nancy called and said that Piper had moved into your house after she hosed hers down with bleach. Y’all ain’t havin’ a house party without me. I might go for a sleepover with Boone but hey, if Piper is going crazy it’ll take both of us to keep her out of a straitjacket. She’s one tall woman, I tell you,” Charlotte said.

Stella pointed. “See, I told you so. You are Annelle.”

“Is that Steel Magnolias? Sometimes I think we’re reliving that thing down at the shop. Agnes is Ouiser.” Charlotte left her suitcase in the middle of the floor, kicked off her shoes, and curled up on the other end of the sofa with Stella. “Start it all over again and let’s watch it from the beginning. If Piper is Annelle, who are you?”

“I’m Clairee,” Stella said proudly.

“You are not! You’re not that old and you’ve got red hair.”

“Then I want to be Truvy,” Stella said.

“You’ll have to bleach your hair and get a boob job to look like Dolly Parton. You think this new boyfriend that you won’t talk about would like you as a blonde with big boobs and a smart mouth?”

Stella’s laughter came close to breaking the windows. “Darlin’, my new feller likes me any way he can get me, but he likes me best naked and hot and he thinks my smart mouth is right fine.”

“He don’t mind the past thing or have you not told him?”

“Oh, he knows, and he says the same thing that Truvy says. If you can achieve puberty, you probably have a past.”

“And what is his past?” Piper asked.

Stella tossed a throw pillow at her. “I’ll tell you after that rotten ball is over. I’m really starting to look forward to it since Agnes has spiced up the party with her ideas.”

Charlotte smiled. “I’m serious as a heart attack. I want to grow up and be like Ouiser.”

“You’ll have to dye your hair and get a pair of overalls.” Stella laughed and it felt so good.



Stella had just gotten into bed when her brand-new ringtone, “Good Hearted Woman,” started playing.

“Hey,” she said softly.

“I drove past your house and saw two extra cars. I guess Piper doesn’t like the quiet,” Jed said.

“Gene’s ghost in the house is spookin’ her more than a quiet house. She’s moved in until the boys come home. And Charlotte couldn’t stand it so she brought her suitcase and she’s here for the duration, too,” she said.

“You know what they say about familiarity.”

She nodded even though he couldn’t see it. “We’ll practically be together twenty-four/seven. By the time they leave I’ll be ready to yank all my hair out, but tonight it wasn’t too bad. They’re my friends, Jed.”

“You got a lock on the bedroom door?” he asked.

“Yes, I do. Why?”

“Got one on the window?”

“Yes, I do,” she answered.

“Then unlock the window right after you lock the door. I’m comin’ in. No way I’m going that long without sleeping with you.” He chuckled.

She bounded out of the bed and quietly turned the lock in the middle of the doorknob and then raced across the room to open the window. He slipped in effortlessly, bringing a small duffel bag with him.

She took the bag from him and tossed it on a chair, wrapped her arms around his neck, and rolled up on her toes for the first kiss. “This may keep me from yanking my hair out.”