The Words We Leave Unspoken(35)

We’re both quiet as we drive through the city streets and I wonder if Grey is driving to my place or his. But as soon as he turns onto Aurora Avenue, I know that he’s taking me home.

He places his hand on my leg and says, “So... not so bad, right?”

I lean my head back into the headrest and turn my face toward him, feeling content and realizing for the first time since the night began that I actually had fun. I survived a date with Grey and I don’t want the night to end. I’m not desperate to get home and wipe him from my memory but rather, desperate to get home and finish what we started on the baseball field.

“It was fun, Grey. Not so bad at all,” I say quietly and I feel him squeeze my leg as a smile stretches across his face. And then I add, “Thank you.”

We drive down highway 99 through the heart of the city in complete but comfortable silence as we pass the space needle, heading toward Green Lake.

Grey parks his car in front of my little house, just as tiny raindrops begin to dot the windshield.

He turns toward me and asks, “Can I talk to you about something? Inside?”

My heart literally drops into my stomach and I think, Let it go Grey. Don’t ruin a perfect night.

“Sure,” I say hesitantly.

He follows me to the porch where I withdraw my keys from my clutch and unlock the door. We both step inside and I slip my shoes off and flip on the lamp next to the couch.

We both sit down and he pulls me closer to him as if he needs to touch me while he says whatever is on his mind.

He starts by saying, “Don’t freak out,” and I immediately start to freak out, but only on the inside. After a long pause, he says, “I don’t think we should work together anymore.”

“What?” I ask, completely shocked. “We went out on one date and now you want to fire me?”

“No of course not. I would never fire you. I...”

“You want me to quit?”

“No.” He tightens his grip on my leg. “You’re the best assistant I’ve ever had, but I think that working together complicates things, not to mention that it’s completely against company policy.” He shifts nervously on the couch beside me and I’m very impatiently hanging on his every word.

“David and I are going to change things up a bit. Jenny will be on maternity leave starting the first of the month, so you’re going to take over for her as David’s assistant until we find something more permanent. Paul, our office manager, is going to be my new assistant indefinitely.”

“What?” I picture David Stein in my mind. He’s older and bald, round in the belly and a complete asshole to boot. His expectations are nearly impossible to meet. Jenny is the only person in the office who can tolerate him, which is why she’s been his assistant for years.

“Why are you doing this?” I ask.

“We’ve been looking for Jenny’s replacement for months and David asked for you. I actually think that you’ll work well together.” He smiles slightly and says, “You definitely won’t put up with his shit. I see it as a great solution to our problem.”

“Our problem? And what exactly is our problem?” I scoot away from him on the couch so that I can look him directly in the eye. I feel angry and hurt and whether these are relevant emotions right now or not is unclear, but I feel them nonetheless.

“Our problem, Charley, is that I really like you and I’m not sure what’s happening between us but I don’t want you to be my assistant anymore, because I want you to be part of my life outside of the office and you can’t be both.”

And just like that the walls are closing in all around me. I stand and walk away from him, needing to put space between us. I can’t wrap my head around what he’s saying.

“Let me get this straight,” I say heatedly, pointing a finger at him. “You decided you want more from me so you made the decision to transfer me to another partner without even consulting with me first. You didn’t even give me the choice to...” I stop short of finishing my sentence, suddenly aware of what I was about to say.

“The choice to what, Charley? Choose between me and your job?”

I nod and immediately regret it as I watch his face fall.

“See that’s the thing Charley. Even if you were to choose your job, I couldn’t work with you every day, knowing that I couldn’t touch you or worse, knowing that someone else was. That’s how deep I am into this thing with you.”

We both just stare at each other from across the room, the air so thick with tension that I can hardly breathe. My heart feels heavy and unsure.

He breaks the silence and says, “Please don’t be mad. This is all happening regardless and I wanted you to hear it from me before they tell you at the office on Monday.”

“Wow. Thank you?” I say as a question, feeling so frustrated with the entire situation.

“I know you’re scared, Charley. I am so much like you. I’ve been so focused on my career. I push people away, afraid of any distractions. But then you came along and well, something changed.”

“You don’t know anything about me,” I say, blankly, folding my arms across my chest.

He stands and walks toward me. “I know that you push people away. That you use sex for intimacy and escape. I know that you have feelings for me but that you’re so scared of them you can’t even share something about yourself with me. You can’t let me in. Hell, Charley, you can’t even tell me your favorite color.”