The Words We Leave Unspoken(17)

“Ben,” I whisper, completely shocked and blindsided. My eyes leave his to glance at his name badge that hangs from the chest pocket of his dark blue scrub top. Benjamin Roth, M.D. As if there was any doubt, his badge confirms it. For a moment, sick little Max lies in my lap forgotten, as our eyes find each other again. He tilts his head to the side and his eyes bore into mine as if he can see straight through me.

“Wow. Charley?” he says as a question, as if he doesn’t believe it’s really me. Searing heat flushes my cheeks at the wonder in his voice and it’s like time stills, barring the steady beat of the drum in my chest.

And then Max moans and we are both pulled from the moment, focusing on the patient. Ben goes into doctor mode.

“Hey buddy. Let’s get you up on the exam table,” he says as he washes his hands in the small sink in the corner of the room. I glance at Olivia. Her book is resting face down on her lap and for the first time, she looks worried about Max. I reach over and pat her leg, flashing her the most reassuring smile I can muster when she looks up at me.

I stand with Max in my arms and lie him down on his back on the exam table, straining under his dead weight.

“Max, can you tell me what’s wrong?” he asks as if he’s known Max his whole life.

Max only moans and so I find my voice, “He’s been throwing up for a few hours and now he’s burning up. I was afraid that he might have appendicitis or something—” I ramble when I’m nervous and Ben interrupts me.

“Let me do a quick exam and we’ll see what’s going on, okay,” he says to me calmly.

I nod and sit back down in the chair next to Olivia.

Ben pokes around on Max’s abdomen, listens to his chest and back with his stethoscope, and checks his neck and inside his throat.

“Well, he seems fine. I think we’re looking at the stomach flu. He needs to rest and make sure he gets plenty of fluids. He’s really dehydrated. I’d give him IV fluids but I don’t want to traumatize him with needles if it’s not necessary. He should be fine in twenty-four hours, but if not just call me.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a business card, and when I reach for it our hands slightly touch and I flinch. He writes a few things down on Max’s chart and I suddenly feel nervous about taking Max home.

“His mom’s away until tomorrow. I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do,” I admit as I stare at Ben’s name in embossed print on the thick white card in my hand.

“There’s not much to do really. But I’ll write down a few things for you, like something for his fever and what type of fluids to give him,” Ben says as he takes out a prescription pad and jots a few things down. He hands me that as well and I avoid his hand like the plague.

“Thanks,” I say, feeling sheepish as I slip both his card and the prescription in the back pocket of my jeans.

“No problem. I take it you don’t have kids of your own?” he asks with a small smile splayed on his lips.

I shake my head, staring into his eyes, trying to wrap my mind around this bizarre, coincidental moment. Ben. Here in this room. After all these years.

After a long, drawn-out beat of silence, Ben turns toward Max. “Okay buddy. You’re going to be good as new in a few hours.” Ben helps Max sit up and then starts to leave the room. He stops in the doorway and turns around, resting his hand on the doorframe.

“It’s good to see you Charley,” he says, looking deep into my eyes. He hesitates, tapping his fingers twice on the doorframe and then walks away. I stare at the space that Ben just vacated and take a deep breath. It feels like my first real breath since Ben walked into the room. My mind is swirling with questions and all the things that I wish I would’ve said.

“Can we go home now?” Olivia says, bringing me back to the here and now.

“Yeah,” I mutter, still dazed as I grab Max’s jacket off the chair and pull his arms through the sleeves one at a time.

“You’re lucky Dr. Roth was here. Mom doesn’t like the other doctor,” Olivia says nonchalantly, but her words hit me in the gut as confusion settles in.

“You know Dr. Roth?” I ask, turning to look at her.

She shrugs. “Yeah, he’s our doctor,” she says so matter-of-factly, as if everyone should know this fact. Except I don’t. Anger flares at the realization that Ben is Max and Olivia’s doctor and Gwen has never mentioned it to me. I push all the questions running through my mind aside, hand Olivia the trashcan we brought from home and take Max into my arms. I need to focus on my nephew right now.





Chapter 11





Gwen


The sky grows darker and darker while John and I enjoy a quiet seafood lunch where we share a bottle of white wine and talk about how nice it is to get away. We agree that we should do this more often. Especially now that the kids are older. For two years, Max had the worst case of separation anxiety and I refused to leave him with anyone but John. I could never enjoy myself knowing that he was home sobbing, desperately needing me. He’s moved past that phase, thank God, but I still don’t feel comfortable being away from the kids for long.

After lunch, John and I browse the shops that line the cobble streets of the island village. We buy little gifts for the kids and a few knickknacks for the fireplace mantel. As we stroll along the vacant streets, laughing with mild intoxication, John holds my hand, interlacing our fingers like a young couple madly in love. Like a couple who hasn’t been married for over a decade, worn out from two children that consume every minute of their day. Like a couple whose lives are not about to be torn apart by cancer. I squeeze John’s hand a little tighter, holding on to this moment for as long as I can, my mind snapping a photograph that I can store away for a rainy day when I need to remember this moment, a before moment.