The Vargas Cartel Trilogy (Vargas Cartel #1-3)(149)

“Hattie?” Ryker said, pausing in the entrance. “Is everything okay?”

I swallowed over the lump lodged in my throat. “Oh my God. You scared the crap out of me.”

His dark eyebrows knitted together. “Did something happen while I was gone?”

I shook my head. “No. I couldn’t sleep. I was worried about you.”

He closed the door behind him. “You should be sleeping. Your flight leaves early in the morning.” He leaned against the door with a wicked smile on his face. “But I can’t say I’m sad you’re awake.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because now I can kiss you goodnight.”

I rolled my eyes. “Did you find anything we can use?”

He tapped a large yellow envelope against his leg, and his lips pinched together until they almost disappeared entirely. “I found more than enough.” He held up the envelope. “Everything you need is in here. Don’t look at it until you get back to the States with Noah.”

I frowned. “I can’t read it on the plane?”

“No.” He unzipped my suitcase and emptied out my clothes.

I tossed the sheets to the side, and I jumped out of the bed. “What are you doing?”

“I’m hiding this,” he answered without looking at me.

I looked at him askance. “I can put it in my purse.”

“This is better.” He pulled a switchblade from his pocket and sliced open the silky black lining in the suitcase. He slipped the envelope inside and squirted a few dots of glue on the lining, temporarily sealing the cut.

I nodded. “What am I supposed to do with the information?”

He tapped me on the tip of my nose. “Noah knows what to do. He’ll talk to you about it on the plane.”

“When did you talk to him?”

His eyes turned serious, but a faint smile remained on his face. “Just now.”

“Oh.” I sat on the edge of the bed. “Why do I need to go with him? If he’s taking the lead, I can stay with you. I want to be here to support you.”

He sighed as he settled onto the bed next to me, his hand weaving around my waist. His soft touch seared my side, his thigh leaning into mine, and his long fingers flexing into my skin.

“It’s better that way,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion. “I don’t know what will happen here. There are so many moving pieces and things I can’t control. If you leave, it’s one less thing I need to worry about.”

“Yeah. You’re probably right,” I said softly, even as a dull ache burrowed under my breastbone. As much as I wanted to glue myself to Ryker’s side, I sure as hell didn’t want to end up chained to a wall again because he couldn’t protect me.

My nerves were shot from straining to catch every sound over the last two hours, and my exhaustion made me jittery. Ryker slid his arm up my back to my shoulders and I buried my head into his chest, seeking strength in his embrace. I promised myself I would stay strong and not cry until I was safe at home, but I fell apart. Tears burned behind my eyes, and a strangled sob fled my mouth as I exhaled.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered next to my ear.

I tried to stand up, but he pulled me back down next to him.

“How long do you think?” I asked. My words were muffled from pressing my face into his chest, trying to capture every last molecule of his scent and sear it into my memory.

He kissed the top of my head. “Not long. A couple of weeks. Maybe a month if things get really complicated.”

I lifted my head even though I felt empty with defeat. My heart felt like it was made of glass, ready to shatter at the slightest touch. “Not a month. You can’t leave me for that long. I’ll be showing by then, and everybody will know. What will I say? What will I do?”

What everyone thought of me should’ve been the least of my concerns, but it wasn’t. My mom would lose her mind. My dad would say nothing as usual, but he wouldn’t have to. He communicated his disapproval with silence rather than words. My mom and dad made a good team in that respect. She said everything he wouldn’t and he sealed the deal by pretending I didn’t exist. His arm slid from my shoulder and I shivered.

“I didn’t want to do this yet.” He kneeled in front of me and tilted his head to the side. “Well, that’s not true. I planned to do it right when we got to Mexico, but everything was strained and then it fell apart.”

I nodded, unable to mutter a single word. He slipped his hand into his pocket, pulled out a black velvet box, and cracked it open. There was a large diamond solitaire framed by so many tiny diamonds it looked like a starburst. I cupped my hand over my mouth, unsure whether I wanted to laugh or cry. Maybe both.

“This isn’t how I planned to ask you to marry me. I wanted this moment to be perfect and filled with promises of a beautiful future. I wanted you to be happy. I wanted to surprise you—”

“Mission accomplished. You did surprise me,” I whispered, the words barely audible over the swish of the ceiling fan and the leaping of my heart in my chest. “I wasn’t expecting this. I never thought that far ahead. There was always so much going on. There was so much to figure out…” Realizing I was rambling, my voice faded to nothing.

His knuckles brushed along my face, and I felt his touch all the way down to my toes. “I know and just to be clear I don’t want you to say yes right now.” He pinned me with his gray eyes, an endearing, almost boyish, smile on his face. “It’s still not the right time, but I want to give you this ring so you’ll know where my heart is even if things get ugly and complicated.”