The Vargas Cartel Trilogy (Vargas Cartel #1-3)(146)

His smile softened, and he peered at me lazily, his eyes hooded. “Don’t worry. I deleted it this morning before anyone woke up. Nobody will ever see it, but I have some stuff I want to talk to you about without worrying that we’ll be overheard.”

He didn’t have to ask me twice. I wanted to talk to him without prying ears and eyes. I scooted off the bed and tugged on the hem of the t-shirt Ryker gave me last night. “I need clothes,” I announced, waving my hand in front of my body.

An amused laugh erupted from his mouth, and he pointed to a white paper bag on the floor next to his dresser. “The housekeeper is washing the clothes you left at the hotel. There’s a dress, panties, and other necessities in there.”

“I wish somebody would’ve pointed that out earlier,” I grumbled as my bare feet padded against the tiled floor. I’d been hiding in bed the entire day due to a lack of proper clothing.

I found a simple light blue shift dress with iolite trim and white lacy panties in the bag. With my back turned to him, I took off the t-shirt and tossed it on the top of the dresser. I slipped the dress over my head and pulled on the panties.

I still hadn’t looked in the mirror. I avoided it like the plague last night in the bathroom, but a quick brush of my hand over my face told me all I needed to know. One of my cheeks was still slightly swollen, my lower lip was cracked, and my hand looked like I had smashed it between two bricks. At least Dr. Mendez bandaged the burns on my upper arm. I couldn’t stand to look at them.

I spun around and finger combed my hair. “I’m ready. Where to?”

Ryker stood less than a foot away from me. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. His familiar spicy sea scent washed over me. “I’m sorry I left before you woke up. I should’ve told you everything last night. I shouldn’t have left you alone with Ignacio.”

His apology ignited sparks of anger in my blood, and I curled my fingernails into my palms like razors. “After everything I’ve been through, I can’t believe you abandoned me like that. You didn’t even stay around long enough for the doctor’s exam. If you really go through with whatever f*cked up plan you have in your head—”

“Hattie, listen to me,” he interrupted.

“No. I know you think you’re going to make some bullshit noble sacrifice and push me out of your life. But if you do go through with it, it’s over. I will never let you back in my life. You will never know anything about our child. You will never know his name. You will never see his face. We will disappear. Do you understand what I’m saying? This is your last chance. Don’t f*ck it up.”

Ryker pulled me into his arms, and his warm, minty breath shuffled through the ends of my hair. The heat from his touch bled through the gauzy fabric of my dress. My pulse skyrocketed, and a shiver of anticipation danced down my spine. I should’ve pushed him away, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I never could think clearly when it came to Ryker.

He was my weakness.

My Achilles heel.

My kryptonite.

My everything.

“Hattie, I am so sorry about everything that happened to you. You have no idea how badly I wish I could go back in time and make different decisions.” He squeezed me tighter and I could barely breathe. “I’m not going to lie. The thought crossed my mind that you’d be better without me. I still think so. It’s not too late to rebuild your life. I would make sure you had enough money to buy a house, finish your degree or stay home with our baby if that’s what you wanted. I would make it so you never wanted for anything.”

Alarm zipped through my body like a lightning bolt, and a monster sized black hole opened up inside of my chest.

“Except you.” My voice was tight with suppressed tears. “Is loyalty to your father more important to you than your unborn child or me?” I slipped my hands between our bodies and shoved him, but he didn’t move.

“Fuck no, Hattie. That’s crazy.” He buried his nose in my hair and inhaled. “You mean everything. That’s the only reason I considered leaving you. I didn’t know what to do. I needed to think. I needed a plan.”

I tipped up my head, pinning him with my eyes. “And you have one now?”

Silence ticked by, and I bit my lip, wishing I felt stronger, more confident. Instead, I wilted under his unreadable gaze. He exhaled and took a couple of steps back, his hands slipping from my shoulders. I immediately mourned the loss of his touch. Guilt etched lines into his face as he ran a hand through his inky hair. His normally vibrant gray eyes were stormy.

“I have ideas, but I’ll need your help. We’ll need to work together,” he said, his voice low and cautious.

I rubbed my hands over my face and my throat constricted. My head pounded, and sadness poured through my veins like a drug making me tired and weak. “I don’t know how I can help. I’m kind of out of my depth here.”

“Come on. Let’s take a walk.” The pads of his fingers whispered like silk down my arm, and he laced his fingers through mine.

I hesitated for a moment. A small sliver of me wanted to flee this whole mess, but I didn’t think it’d do any good. I had to trust Ryker to guide us through this just like he had with everything else we had faced. Despite all the ups and downs, he hadn’t failed me yet.

“Okay.” I said, my lips trembling. I swallowed hard, struggling to swallow the sadness and fear creeping up the walls of my throat.