The Ugly Duckling Debutante (House of Renwick #1)(24)

She glided into the darkness and hurried back down the hall, escaping the ball without notice. It was easy enough considering the minute she turned to see if anyone noticed her Renwick had walked into the room. All eyes on him and the faint red hand print on his cheek, she slipped away. Sara nodded to her aunt who took her home in the carriage. Once she reached her room all the sobs she had been harboring, finally released.

Davina appeared at her bedside in an instant, not saying a word, merely singing a hymn about trusting in God; the irony too much to bear.

Sara couldn’t remember the last time she had cried this much. Surely it had been when she was younger and a family pet had been killed by a wolf. Other than that, she reserved her tears for the romance novels she lay awake at night to read.

“Curse that wretched Renwick fellow!” Davina yelled with arms in the air.

Sara produced a weak smile; it felt good that someone else at least understood why she felt so upset by the whole ordeal. Not only had he essentially stolen her innocence by taking her first kiss, but he managed to soil her reputation, and ruin any ounce of self worth she had established in her twenty-one years.

She knew she wasn’t normal, but did he always have to say as much? And why on Earth would he kiss her so…passionately, if he found her so disagreeable? Were the lusts of his flesh so weak he would take any willing maiden into his arms? And now she was to marry the man? A man like that… The thought did not settle well with her. She climbed into bed and forced herself to close her eyes. Maybe things would look better in the morning.



***



“Hurry! You must hurry!” Lady Fenton frantically banged on her door, waking Sara from a dead sleep.

Sara turned, rising from her bed and managed a shaky “What for?” before throwing her pillow against the wall. She had not slept well and this was not a good morning for an interruption.

“We have visitors, so many visitors, so much to do! We have already been called on by half the ton!” Lady Fenton was beaming. It was so unfair.

Sara looked at Davina, who merely shrugged her shoulders. “What does this mean?”

Lady Fenton looked sharply at Davina. “Well don’t just stand there, find her an afternoon dress!” Davina curtsied and stuck out her tongue when Lady Fenton’s gaze returned to Sara.

“This means you are the talk of the ton, even with the scandal of you and my rake of a cousin; they are worshipping at your feet, dying to know the one lady who had enough charm to bring down the infamous rake, Lord Renwick!” Lady Fenton was absolutely delighted.

Sara felt her stomach recoil. The nausea threatened to overwhelm her.

Davina returned with a beautiful green afternoon dress. It had capped sleeves but was billowy underneath the chest line, enough to make her look like a fairy princess. She put on the lovely garment all the while her aunt watched with increasing agitation. “Hurry up!” she kept saying to Davina. Sara felt she should rescue Davina from Lady Fenton’s venom, but she herself was in no mood to argue after such a long and tiresome evening.

Davina managed to weave some flowers into Sara’s hair before pushing her out the door with Lady Fenton. “Be brave,” she whispered after Sara. Sara mouthed her gratitude and descended the stairs. She went into the receiving salon and waited. The first visitors of the day were none other than the Duchess of Dutbi and Lady Jersey herself. Sara curtsied and took her seat next to Lady Fenton.

“I must say we are shocked to hear rumors of an engagement. We came here straight away to see if there was any truth to them!” Lady Jersey crowed with her attention fixed upon Sara.

Sara blushed, which apparently was all the ladies needed in confirmation. They continued chattering like chickens until more ladies were escorted in. The Duchess and Lady Jersey took their leave, and the rest of the afternoon went painfully similar. Women would ask bold questions, Sara would blush, they would gasp, and Lady Fenton would take a sip of tea and say, “I always knew Sai would reform my dear cousin. She is too delicious for him to resist.” The ladies would then share a laugh, look in Sai's direction again, and sigh.

Sai wanted to run screaming into the carriage-filled street. The afternoon was nearly over when another guest entered the house. Sai, not realizing the guest was masculine, huffed bitterly to herself before lifting her eyes.

Nicholas Renwick stood in front of her, all six feet of him. He seemed larger than last night; then again, the darkness and the kissing probably fuzzed her mind. She swallowed with difficulty and tilted her head down, motioning for him to take a seat. He didn’t address her, but turned instead to Lady Fenton.

“I realize it’s terribly rude of me to arrive unannounced, but would it be acceptable for me to take Sai through Hyde Park? We are affianced, are we not?” His smile was bitter, but Lady Fenton seemed unmoved by his intention. She nodded curtly and ordered Sai to collect her reticule and meet Renwick in front of the house.

Before Sara had any time to protest, she found herself sitting opposite Renwick in the carriage, trying desperately to think of anything but his commanding masculine presence. Never would she allow herself to be weak in his hands again. He had done permanent damage to her life, not to mention her pride.



***



Nicholas was the worst type of fool; plain and simple. He knew it, Sai knew it, and most likely the ton would know it before the day’s end. The things he’d said to Sai were unforgiveable. If she only knew the reasons behind his rage. Fear was a constant companion in his life—fear of losing control, of marrying someone whom he had no control over or who made him want to lose control. Sai was that very person, the person he promised he wouldn’t marry if his life depended on it. Not only was she too beautiful for him, but she was pure, untouched by the sin of the world. The sins of his past would destroy her, and she would hate him. It wasn’t as if he didn’t feel terrible about his past; he simply could do nothing to change it. But he could change his future, and he wouldn’t bring any more innocent victims into his darkness, not the way he did before. It wouldn’t be fair.