The Strength of the Pack (Suncoast Society #30)(41)

“Okay. Then we’ll talk tonight and go from there. Leo might say absolutely not and make this all moot, anyway.”

“I know.”





But Leo didn’t. After Laurel went to bed, the three of them huddled on the lanai, voices down, and talked.

Even though she’d been married to Leo for twelve years, she could sense he was in many ways a different man now. Now, she couldn’t read him as well as she once could. Or, at least, thought she’d could, even though she really hadn’t known him as well as she thought she had.

After he asked her questions, questions she’d already bandied around with her counselor, he sat back and went quiet for a moment.

Finally, he broke the silence. “What about Nate?”

“This is pack business.”

“But you love him.”

“I know.”

Leo cocked his head. “You have to talk to him. If he’s not on board with it, then it’s a no-go anyway.”

“I’m not collared to him, I’m collared to you two.”

“Whoa, sweetie, this is Leo and Jesse and Eva time, not BDSM dynamics time.”

“I mean it. I take that commitment just as serious as if we were married.”

“But you want to be collared to Nate, so he needs input.”

“Not yet.”

Leo studied her again. “You won’t confide in him so he can collar you until this happens, will you?”

She shook her head. “No,” she quietly admitted.

“Why? Or, why not, I guess should be the question.”

It took her a while to formulate the answer. She’d had trouble expressing it to the counselor, too, and wanted to do a better job with this instead of the rambling, stumbling mess she’d come up with earlier.

“You guys promised me that, no matter what, we’re a pack, right?”

“Eva—”

“Answer the question, Leo. Did you or didn’t you?”

“I did,” he said. “You know I did.”

“For the rest of our lives, right?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

She looked at Jesse and he nodded. “I’m damn sure not going anywhere,” he said with a smile. “Just try to get rid of my ass.”

“Okay, then.” She indicated the three of them. “We, and Laurel, are pack. Our baby would be part of the pack.”

“You don’t trust Nate?” Jesse asked.

“That’s not my point. If Nate wants to be part of this pack, he has to accept this pack as it is. That means our children. I might not get another chance to have a baby, and I don’t want to second-guess myself because it wasn’t Nate’s baby. He says he’s not going anywhere and accepts what we have, now, as it is, for as long as it needs to be. If he’s a man of his word, he’ll accept this.”

The men studied each other. “What?” she asked.

“Honey,” Leo said, “asking him to accept Laurel is one thing. Standing by while you get pregnant with Jesse’s baby is another.”

“If he is a man of his word, he’ll accept this.”

“My loving you and staying a part of this pack is not contingent upon you having my baby,” Jesse said. “If Nate makes you happy, I’d rather you guys hook up and be happy. A baby you have with him is pack as much as a baby you have with us. Or me.”

“No, it’s different,” she said. “Not that I think this will happen, but worst-case. What if I have a baby with him and he leaves and wants custody?”

“Isn’t that a risk you’d have with Jesse?” Leo asked.

“No. Because I know Jesse loves Laurel, too. He wouldn’t do that.”

“Why do you think less of Nate like that?” Leo asked. “I’m confused.”

So was she. It made perfect sense in her head. She was screwing this up the way she had earlier. “Because you two know the worst about me, what’s happened and what I did, and you two still love me, okay? I don’t know that he’ll even still want me after I tell him. And by then I might love him too much to stand up to him if he tells me no, I can’t do this. I want this to be our baby.”

Leo and Jesse both reached across the table and took her hands.

“I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit,” Leo said, “but it’s your body and I respect your wishes. If this is what you want to do…I’m okay with it if Jesse is.”

Jesse stared at their hands. “I’m not sure I’m good with the risk of him walking over this. Nate, I mean.”

Eva met his gaze. “Like you said, if he walks, it doesn’t say much about him, does it?”

She hoped none of them were wrong about Nate.

But in her heart, the thing she couldn’t admit to Jesse for fear of him thinking it was her main reason—Jesse had saved her life, her family.

Because of Jesse, she had Laurel and Leo and two men who loved her, broken and all.

And neither one of them even f*cked her.

Her first loyalty, after Laurel, was to them.

It always would be.

“Please talk to Nate,” Leo said. “And if you still want to do this…then go ahead and talk to your doctor about what it would take.”