The Strength of the Pack (Suncoast Society #30)(40)

No.

Maybe this was what had been holding her back.

She’d always wanted another baby. And Jesse had wanted kids of his own.

Why couldn’t she be his surrogate?

Nate, Cherise, and Wade had come to the house to help celebrate Laurel’s seventh birthday. It had felt like a real family affair, the first one Eva could ever remember, since being with Leo, that had felt easy and totally fun.

Mostly because her parents hadn’t been there.

Her father had never gotten along with Leo, had always thought less of him even though Leo was a welder with a successful business and made decent money.

Because he hadn’t had a college degree, her father had always looked down his nose at Leo—and her—over that. One more way she didn’t measure up.

Not to mention Leo was never intimidated by her father and refused to let her father push her around.

Then again, she really didn’t give a shit what her father thought. Not anymore. And the fact that Leo was a self-made businessman who didn’t feel the slightest bit intimidated by her father didn’t add any warm fuzzies between them, either.

After the show ended, she turned the TV off and headed for bed, still deep in thought.

She was still thinking about it when she awoke early the next morning. In fact, she heard Jesse moving around in the kitchen.

Pulling on her robe, she went out to talk to him. He’d already showered and was putting his lunch together. “Holy cow, sweetie. You’re up early.” He kissed her on the cheek.

She fixed herself a mug of coffee and leaned against the counter while she sipped it. “Let me ask you something. A serious question.”

He paused to turn and look at her. “What’s up?”

“You wanted kids, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. Why? Someone figure out how to get one out of a gay guy’s ass?” He grinned.

“I’m serious.”

His smile faded. “What are you suggesting?”

“Me. If we’re going to do this, it needs to be soon. You guys are married. I’m not going anywhere. Leo’s back to work. There will never be a better time.”

“What about Nate?”

“We’re…we are what we are. We’re dating, and we love each other, but he’s told me it’s my call if I want more, and when. He doesn’t even know exactly…what you and Leo know, and said we have to have a talk about that first before we can go any farther. Well, I’m not ready for that talk. Not his fault, it’s mine. But I always wanted another baby. Why can’t we do artificial insemination? She’d be Laurel’s half-sister that way.”

He stared into her eyes. “You’re serious?”

“I’m serious.”

“We’d have to talk to Leo. And Nate.”

“I know. But…think about it. Please?”

“Why now?”

“It’s something that’s always been in the back of my mind. If you want to know the truth, I think it’s something that until we at least try, I won’t be able to finally completely let go to Nate and close that last remaining gap. I know that sounds weird, but I want to do this, with and for you. And it needs to be me making that decision for me before I put myself into another relationship.”

“Uh, sweetie? You are in a relationship.”

“You know what I mean.”

He kissed her forehead. “This isn’t the best time to talk about this. Let me talk to Leo today and then the three of us can noodle it tonight after Laurel goes to bed. Is Nate coming over for dinner?”

“Not tonight. He’s going out to dinner with Cherise and Wade and Wade’s parents. I really didn’t want to go.”

“Why not?”

“I just…” She shrugged. “It’s me, okay? I get it.” She realized her voice was rising and dropped the volume. “I’m kind of a broken toy, but at least I know it now and I’m working on fixing myself. When I was with Leo, I didn’t know. I’m not ready for…extended family stuff. Pack stuff, yeah. Someone else’s family? I kind of need some time still.”

He took the coffee mug from her and pulled her in for a hug.

Yep, brother.

Totally.

Not an ounce of desire for him at allll.

Not anymore. Not when she had Nate.

“That f*cker really needs to be planted six feet under,” he muttered. “Hope I never meet up with him again. If I’d known then that night at the hospital, I’d have been in jail for punching him.”

“You won’t,” she said. “I don’t ever want to see him again.”

She hadn’t even seen her mom, or her sisters, since the showdown in the hospital, even though she’d talked to her mom and her sisters a couple of times on the phone. Mostly her sisters, who didn’t agree with how their parents had reacted once they heard Eva’s side of the story about that afternoon.

And her sister Ann had apologized for calling their parents despite Eva begging her not to that day.

Neither sister knew what had happened to her all those years ago.

“Maybe you should talk to your counselor about this,” Jesse said. “Before we take this to Nate.”

“I plan to. I see her this afternoon.” With Jesse living with them, and Leo back to working full-time, the men had asked Eva to reduce her work hours, enough to make it easier for her to take care of Laurel and see her counselor every week.