The Story of Me (Carnage #2)(49)
*
We land in Sydney around lunchtime; after a short hour-and-forty-minute flight from Byron. We take a cab to the hotel, drop our bags and go for a short walk to Circular Quay for lunch.
Jodie has arranged to meet us at the club at four and is going to give us a guided tour while it is closed, but when we arrive the place is still a hive of activity. I have honestly never seen anything like it; it’s like a shopping center, but just filled with clubs, bars, restaurants and live music venues. The VIP bar and club on the top floor have a roof terrace and pool, with the most amazing views out across Sydney; this is where we will be tomorrow night. I spoke to Jodie yesterday and explained I had booked everyone into the Marriott as a thank you for my stay. She brought all her clothes with her so she didn’t have to travel back to her apartment for the next couple of days. She was very quiet on the phone and was none too chatty as she showed us around now, and I have a feeling it’s to do with Roman. We’re meeting for drinks later, so I’ll try and talk to her about it then. We leave Jodie to her last-minute organisations at work and Brooke, Jackson and I head back to the hotel. They go straight to the bar, but I go back to my room to freshen up.
I’ve tried to call Marley every day this week without success, so I try again, but it’s Ashley’s voice I hear on the end of the line. “Slag bag, how are you?”
“Slutster, where the f*ck have you been? I’ve been ringing you and my brother for a week, but have had no answer, so I was getting worried.”
“We took the kids away for a week. The weather’s been shit, and Marley’s been really down so we just got away.” Well, that explains it.
“Lennon never said; where’d ya go?”
“We just went to Fuerteventura. The weather was great. It was nice and quiet, and nobody noticed Marls, so he was able to chill.” I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach; Ash has just had a holiday but she sounds flat.
“Ash?” She knows what I’m going to say, so I don’t have to say anymore.
“He’s really struggling, George. I wanted us to stay away for another week but he wanted to be here for this weekend, ya know.” I feel so bad; I should be there. I should be with my brother; he lost his best friend, his brother-in-law and his nephew. I know how much he must be hurting.
“He’s missing you, too, George; we all are.” I bite down on my bottom lip; I don’t want her to hear me cry.
“I miss all of you, too, Ash. That’s why I’m coming home.”
“You’re coming home, when?”
“I land sometime Monday. I’m not sure when. Len’s taken care of all the flight details.”
“Len has? Why the f*ck didn’t he tell me? I only spoke to him last night!”
“I was gonna surprise everyone but if Marley’s down, I might as well let him know.”
“Na, na, ya know what, it might be just what he needs. He’ll be down after tomorrow, and it’ll cheer him up if you just surprise him.” She lets out a long breath. “You know the boys are announcing the end of the band on Saturday, George?” I feel a little stab of pain in my chest at her words.
“I had an idea, but I didn’t know for sure.” No more Carnage. I was nine or ten when Marley started the band and eleven when Sean joined them. I couldn’t imagine a world without the band; their fans will be devastated.
“He’s really worried about how you’re gonna take it, George. Bill and Tommy are more interested in producing since they set up their studio, and Marley just wants to write songs, play his guitar and sing. He and Lennon have negotiated a deal with the label and he’s gonna go solo.” I’m so glad Marls wants to continue. I don’t think he could live without his music.
“I’m so glad he’s not giving up altogether. It’s sad about the band, really sad, but like I told Len, they need to do what they need to do. We’ve all handled this in our own way, and they have to do what works for them.” I can hear her cry as I talk. What did I say?
“I love you, George, and it’s so good to hear your voice. It’s so good to hear you talk about all of this without going into meltdown. I’ve been so worried about you being over there all on your own, but it’s obviously done you good.” I’m ugly, snot-bubble crying now.
“I’m sorry, Ash. I’m sorry for leaving you all, but I had to get away. I just needed some space, and no one knows who I am here. I just got to do every day normal things; I was even waiting tables to help out my aunt and uncle for a while. It’s just given me the space I needed to get my head straight.” I hear her take a few breaths.
“Well, you sound really well. I heard about the hot Aussie; you bringing him back with you? Did ya get down and dirty with him?”
“Don’t pretend Jim hasn’t told you all the deets. You know I did, and no, he’s not coming back with me; we said our goodbyes yesterday.”
“Yeah, she did tell me. Have you got pictures? Is he hot?”
“Yeah, he’s hot but it was weird. We just had this connection as soon as we looked at each other, but it wasn’t love; lust maybe, I’m not sure. He just made my heart beat a little faster. He woke it up and I, I don’t know; he was kind and I just, it felt wrong but it felt right, Ash, ya know? How long do I wait? Is there a right amount of time? He’s not Sean, no one will ever replace Sean, but he was there and he wanted to help me. He wanted to make me feel better. Is that wrong? Was I wrong to let him do that?”