The Story of Me (Carnage #2)(45)
I don’t want to go into detail about how we had been kept apart for four years right now. Talking about all of this is hard enough, but felt unbelievably good at the same time. “Anyway, I shut myself away from the world, and there were horrible stories about me written in the papers; I was some underage harlot who had broken his heart. I had dog shit posted through my letterbox, and I was spat at out shopping with my mum one day. Anyway, I didn’t watch telly. I didn’t listen to music, and apart from school and then work, I didn’t really go out for about three years. I just barely existed, and then Ashley convinced me to go out one night and I met Cam. He’s the bloke I was telling you about, the one I drunk-and-drugged texted on Saturday night. We sort of danced around for about six months and then we finally got together.” I can’t help but smile to myself when I think about what happened when that wanker, Lee, smashed my Hilda up. “He knew everything. He knew how broken I was. He knew I was still in love with Sean, but he didn’t care. He put me back together. He fixed me and then he watched as I walked away, right back to Sean.”
“But you loved him?” I chew on my lip for a second as I think about it and then turn my head back around so my eyes meet hers.
“Yes, I loved him. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I loved him. I think I’ve always loved him.” I shrug. “Don’t get me wrong. I loved Sean unequivocally, but I also loved Cam, and like I’ll always love Sean, I think I’ll always love Cam. Is that possible? Can you love one person like your life depends on it, but still love someone else, too? Does that mean I didn’t really love Sean as much as I thought I did?” I’m thinking out loud, asking rhetorical questions. Jesus, Brooke should consider going into business with Jackson. They both have a knack for getting me to open up and talk about things I’ve buried so deep and pushed so far down, I can feel them in my toes.
“Yes, I think that’s possible; you’re proof of it. If you had just had a normal breakup with Sean, if your relationship had just run its course and ended, and then you had met Cam, you’d probably be with Cam now. He would’ve been the one.”
I nod slowly. “You’re probably right. So what does that mean, Mrs Relationship Expert?”
“Me? I’m no expert. I’ve just spent my life sitting in or working behind the bar and listening to people’s problems.”
“Ahh, well, that would explain why you and Jackson are both so good at it then.”
“Yeah, but Jax has done courses, and he’s a qualified counsellor. He wants to open up his own place eventually, but he doesn’t want to give up the surf school.”
“Well, he should go for it, and you should go in with him; you both have what it takes. I’ve seen at least six different shrinks this past year, and I was even sectioned in a mental facility at one stage, but coming here, being with all of you and opening up the way I have with you and Jax has been the best therapy ever.”
She pulls me in for a cuddle. “Well, that makes me feel a bit better about all the years I spent being jealous of you.” She winks at me. “Honestly, I’m glad we’ve been able to help you in some way; we’re family.” She shrugs. “Families help each other out. I know we’ve never really been close, I mean, not like you are with Jax and Jodes. I don’t really remember living in England, not like they do, but anyway, regardless, I’m glad you coming here has helped you find some peace.”
I let out a long breath. “It really has and as grateful as I am, I’ve decided it’s time for me to go home.”
She leans away so she can see me better. “Really, when?”
“I’m not sure. Lennon’s sorting the flights out for me, but it’ll be at the beginning of next week, I think. I won’t be coming back from Sydney. I’ll get all my stuff packed up and sent back this week and just leave the essentials I’ll need for these last few days.” She nods as she listens to my plans.
“So you’re coming to Sydney then?”
“I’ll come to Sydney and I’ll show my face at the opening, just to support Jodie, but I’m not sure I’ll stay.”
“Fair enough, but I’m glad you’re coming either way.” She pauses for a moment. “Does Roman know? That you’re going back to England I mean?”
I shake my head. “No, he’ll be fine. We both went into this knowing it was just temporary.” She nods, but bites down on her bottom lip. “What’s wrong, you look worried?”
“Rome and Jackson punched on last night.”
“They did what?” I have no idea what she’s talking about.
“They punched on, had a fight, ‘had a punch up’ as my dad would say.”
“Rome and Jackson had a punch up. When?” She looks at me wide-eyed, like I’m mad.
“Last night, that’s what I just said.” God, talk about lost in translation. I sometimes wonder if we speak the same language.
“But why were they fighting?” I think I already know the answer to this.
“You.”
“For f*ck’s sake, Brooke, why didn’t someone come and get me? I told Jax none of what happened was Roman’s fault. I’m not a child; I can look after myself.” She raises her eyebrows, giving me her best ‘really?’ look. “Fair enough. I didn’t look after myself very well on Saturday night, but that wasn’t Rome’s fault.”