The Solemn Bell(53)

“You’ve gone a long time without your morphine,” she said. “Are you worried you’ll always be tempted?”

He warned her of a low-hanging branch, and then explained, “I don’t trust myself. There are times when I feel that my own mind—my own body—is my enemy. I’ve learned to distract myself from thoughts of taking drugs, but I’m afraid that one day it won’t be enough, and I’ll be right back to where I started.”

“But you cannot live your life isolated from all temptation. It isn’t healthy.”

“So says the girl who never stepped foot outside her property for fear of being carted off.”

Angelica stopped walking. “Perhaps that was irrational. I tested that fear, and am no longer afraid.”

“Yes, well, I’m still afraid. Every morning. Every night.”

She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it. “And for that, you are the bravest, strongest man I know.”

“God, Angelica, where were you seven years ago? We wouldn’t have had to suffer through any of this.”

“We would have suffered in other ways. Perhaps you weren’t ready for me all those years ago. I know I wouldn’t have been ready for you,” she said. “I have to believe that everything happens for a reason, and every terrible thing is only preparing us for something greater. Now, we know what we’ve got. We know it’s special. We’re willing to fight for it, when maybe we wouldn’t have before.”

For a long moment, there was only the humming of bees, and the calling of birds overhead. The curtain of fragrant blossoms made Angelica feel dizzy. She wanted to laugh and cry, all at the same time. Mostly, she wanted Captain Neill to say something so she didn’t feel quite so foolish.

Finally, he took her in his arms, and whispered, “I will never, ever stop fighting for you.”





CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN





She truly was an angel. His father simply didn’t understand. What was money, when one had the true love of a good woman? If the old man ever cared for him at all, he would see that her lack of fortune did not matter. Brody was happy, healthy, and in love for the first time. Angelica Grey was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Surely, saving him from a life spent slowly killing himself was worth a ring on her finger and a livable allowance.

He and Angelica stood in the walled garden. They’d passed the orchards, the lily pond, and the sloping hills full of hundreds of yellow daffodils. As a boy, he’d escaped here often when his parents’ misery bubbled over into the nursery, or the schoolroom, or wherever he and Marcus happened to be.

Mother and Father had never been happy. They’d married for money, and looked for love elsewhere. Because they placed no importance on marital love, they did not expect their children to, either. But, surely, no parent would wish their offspring to make the same mistakes they did…

Brody looked around. “Tell me what you see.”

Angelica tilted her head, letting the scents and sounds of the garden wash over her. “I see…a stone wall that’s warmed in the sun. Wet bark, and clipped grass. Lilacs, I believe—I always loved lilacs.”

“That’s not fair. What you described could be any English garden. How do I know you’re not just making it up?”

“Blue sky, green grass, trees, and flowers—all very common, I agree. But it’s the way in which these components are arranged that makes them unique. You have a heart, and a brain, and teeth, and hair. Does that mean you’re just like every other man?”

“Well…no.”

She laughed. “Of course not. You are individual, just as this garden is.”

“You’re pretty unique yourself, you know.”

Angelica wrapped her arms around his waist, beneath his tweed jacket. “So you keep telling me.”

“I mean it. I know you will never truly understand how beautiful you are, but I want you to know that I was half in love with you before I ever saw you,” he said, holding her tightly to him. “You risked your life to help an injured stranger. You loved and accepted me for the tortured soul that I was. Now, you’re here with me, despite everything that could go wrong.”

“I trust you, Brody. From the very start, I knew you were a good man.”

“To you, I am. To everyone else, I’m a waste of energy.”

She frowned up at him. “Perhaps they don’t know you like I know you.”

“No, they know me. I just don’t think I was a good man before I met you. You make me want to be the way you see me.”

Angelica laughed grimly. “Do you want to see how I see the world? Turn me loose, and walk ten paces backward.”

He did as she asked. Brody stood in the middle of the wide expanse of grassy garden, which was surrounded by blooms, boxwoods, and a weathered stone wall. “Alright. Now what?”

“Spin around until I tell you to stop.”

Again, he did as she asked, turning himself in circles. He kept turning until he didn’t know where he’d started.

“Stop,” she ordered. “Try to find me.”

Brody stumbled through the garden, trying to avoid trampling the flowers, or stumbling headfirst into a lilac bush. He held his arms out, searching for her. Which way had her voice come from? He resisted the urge to peek. “I know this game. We used to play it as children.”