The Slot (Rochester Riot #1)(34)

“Can I ask you something?” Eloise said, taking a fortifying breath.

“Sure. Anything.” He lay on his side next to her and brushed some strands of her hair away from her face. The tender gesture tugged at her heart. Cole was most likely the love ‘em and get the hell out kind and his willingness to stay and talk about an uncomfortable subject spoke volumes about his value system.

“What do hockey players want from a relationship?” she asked, calming herself so her shaky voice didn’t betray her. His answers meant the difference between staying and leaving. His answers meant everything.

He stuck his lip out, pondering the question. “That covers a lot of territory. I know there are some stereotypical misconceptions out there, but I can only tell you what I want from a relationship.”

“And that is?”

“Trust. Loyalty. High standards… not just in pastries,” he said, leaning in close and tapping her on the nose. “Someone who’d support my ideals and my career, I guess. Have my back no matter what. Someone I could be proud of.”

“Oh. What about children?”

“What about them?”

She exhaled in exasperation. “Do you want children someday?”

Cole propped himself up on his elbow. “Of course. As many as I can afford to support. I couldn’t disappoint an Italian grandmother-in-waiting.” He regarded her curiously. “Do you interrogate all your lovers after sex about their intentions? Good grief, Eloise, you’re as serious as a heart attack. Next time, remind me to get you more liquored up.”

She couldn’t laugh at his attempt to keep the mood light. Because it wasn’t. Eloise closed her eyes for a moment, then popped them open again. “I don’t have a long list of lovers. Not like you do, I’m sure. Getting in my pants is a pretty exclusive club.”

He clucked his tongue. “There goes that stereotype thing I mentioned. Just because I play in the NHL doesn’t necessarily follow that I’m a man-whore. Where are you going with all these questions?”

“Cole, I want this to work, you and me, but I don’t want to disappoint you either.” She paused for breath. “I might not be able to have children because of an infection I had a long time ago.”

“Whoa, slow down pretty doughnut-lady. It’s a bit early to be worrying about all that, isn’t it?”

She shook her head. “Better early than too late. If children are important to you… then maybe I’m not the girl for you. I can be your best one-night stand.”

“I think I’m capable of telling what girl is right for me,” he whispered, eyes narrowed with pain. “And for the record, I’ve never had a one-night stand. That’s not the way my mother raised me. I was brought up to respect woman and cherish them as partners.”

“And what about friends?” Eloise went on. “Are your friends important to you? The bro code and all that macho stuff?”

“Like I said, I value trust and loyalty. I expect those from everyone, not just friends and family. I’d even expect it from Sheehan Murphy, although after the meeting, I’m not sure he’s even capable.”

“Do you trust your friend Trey?”

He turned toward her and cupped her cheeks, sensing the gravity of her tone. “Yeah. Known him a long time. Why?”

“Did he say anything about me after the Town Hall?” she asked, eyes pooling with tears she couldn’t stop.

Cole looked puzzled. “Other than he liked the music festival idea, no. Why would he?”

Eloise squeezed her eyes shut against the onslaught of unwanted moisture. “Well, unless he’s a completely changed person, or was trying to spare your feelings, I guess he just didn’t recognize my name. Didn’t recognize me.”

“Eloise, why on earth would Trey recognize you?” his frustrated question pierced through to her heart. “Spit it out.”

Her eyelids opened and her teary green gaze locked with his intense blue one. “His name isn’t Trey. It’s Trevor. He went to my high school. In Columbus. We dated, and he… took advantage of me one night just before graduation. He moved away after that, and I never saw him again until tonight.”

Eloise met his gaze again. His eyes were such clear, azure depths. A smooth lagoon. She could get lost there. She could be found there. But she couldn’t bring herself to utter the word. The one that changed everything.

Rape.

Cole slipped his arms protectively around her. “I’m sorry. I can tell you’re upset, but wasn’t that quite a long time ago? If he’s forgotten it, maybe you should too.”

A heaving sob escaped. She needed to say one last thing before she could finally admit what had choked her for years. Held her hostage in an aching pool of shame and blame, swirling ever downward until she’d entered a black abyss. “So you’re defending him? Like my feelings don’t matter? You don’t know the whole story, Cole. There’s more.”

“Then tell me.”

“You’re asking me to tell you the biggest secret of my life. One that could destroy my career. Cole, I need you to promise on your mother’s life that you’ll never repeat what I’m about to tell you.”

“On my honor,” he said, raising a hand in the Boy Scout oath. “Or, don’t you think I have any because I slap a puck for a living?”