The Silent: Irin Chronicles Book Five(30)

“I… Hello,” she stammered. “I didn’t know you were—”

“I have feelings for you,” Leo said without preamble. “Strong feelings.”

Her mouth fell open, but no words came out.

“I would like to talk about this,” Leo continued. “Can we do that?”

Kyra had been raised in secrecy. Truth was suppressed and hidden. Thoughts were kept to oneself. If feelings existed, they were expressed in furtive glances and whispers. The goal of her life had been to remain as small as possible, as insignificant as she could be. Invisible.

Silent.

Leo’s desire to speak openly about his feelings was both thrilling and terrifying. Everything about Leo was both thrilling and terrifying.

He put his hands on her shoulders and lowered his voice. “Kyra, please.”

“I don’t know how…,” she started—cleared her throat—continued in a firmer voice. “I don’t know—”

“We have known each other for several years,” he said. “Every time I see you, this attraction—which is not merely physical—grows. I want, Kyra. I want to know you. I want to see you. I want more every time we’re together, and yet you—”

“You need to let me speak,” Kyra said quietly.

Leo opened his mouth again. Then closed it. He nodded, then led her to the low cushions in the corner of the cottage where a small table sat. There were bolstered wedges and pillows for sitting and eating. He arranged the cushions carefully, side by side, then paused. He looked at her, then at the room. She saw him evaluating it with the eyes of a soldier, noting the layout, the doors and windows. Then he bent over and rearranged the cushions, putting them at an angle so both their backs were against the wall.

Kyra realized Leo had rearranged the pillows so that both of them had equal access to the door.

To make her feel safe.

“I’ve never felt unsafe with you.” She had to force the words through her mouth. Every word felt like stripping off skin.

He paused. “Even at the beginning?”

“No. Just… cautious. You were something new.”

He led her to the cushions and waited for her to sit. Then he sat on the other side, folding his long legs under him.

“I’m very large,” he said. “Damien says if I’m not thinking about it, I mow through a room like an enthusiastic tank.”

Kyra smiled. “I’ve never felt mowed down.”

“I’m glad.”

Kyra felt like her heart must be audible. They were alone. Utterly alone. She heard nothing from the outside, could hear only faint signatures from deeper in the forest. Be brave. It had been her mantra for the past three years. If she could survive among the Grigori and the Fallen, she could survive anything.

Be brave.

“When I was young,” she started, “scribes were things to fear. Our brothers would go out and not come back. We knew the scribes had killed them.”

“Who is we?”

“My other sisters.” She pushed past the feeling of exposure. These weren’t secrets anymore. Telling these stories wasn’t a betrayal. They were her past, not her present. “There were never many of us. The daughters. I wasn’t close to the others, not as I am with Kostas.”

“But you were afraid of scribes?”

“I was. Kostas wasn’t. He knew what his brothers were—what he was. If he hadn’t had me, I imagine he would have let your brothers kill him long ago. But… he did have me. And the others.”

“He stays alive for them?”

“I think so.” Kyra stared at the swaying palms outside her window. They caught the breeze, waving at her in encouragement. “When Kostas and I thought we were free, he worked so hard. He tied himself in knots just to be…” She looked at Leo. “Like you, I suppose.”

“How?”

“Controlled. Not an animal.”

“I don’t think Grigori are animals.” Leo caught himself. “I don’t think that anymore. Now that I know the truth.”

“But some of them are.” She said it quietly. A truth none of them wanted to face. “Even Kostas did things he hated himself for. He stopped long ago, because he could see how his behavior affected me.”

“You felt it?” Leo’s eyes turned sharp.

“I felt his hunger. The demand of his need.” How could she explain honestly without condemning those she loved? “Imagine your brothers with no mothers. No fathers who cared. Raising themselves with little or no guidance. Would they fight?”

Leo smiled. “Constantly.”

“As my brothers did. As some still do. They take what they want because the Fallen tell them the human world is their plunder. Their birthright. Grigori hunt humans because they can. And because we—all of us—are so desperately hungry.” She felt her cheeks warm. “Not for food. You understand?”

“I understand.” Two spots of red rode his cheeks. “Scribes also feel this hunger, even with the control our talesm give us. It’s why we are stronger when we are mated.”

“So you understand.”

He reached for her hand and took it, enclosing it between his two large palms. Kyra let out a breath. The effect of Leo’s touch was instant.