The Row(92)

I’d almost lost her. I’d almost been without her forever. Today, when I’m so grateful that I’m not alone, it’s impossible to say no to a request like that.

She gives me a small wave and a weak smile, but her skin is still so pale it scares me.

Jordan gives me a tight hug and then moves back toward the car. “I’ll go make sure your mom is comfortable.”

I hesitate, knowing that I’m not done here. “I’ll be right behind you. Just give me one more minute.”

When Jordan stops and his eyes linger on mine, he seems to understand. Once he gets to the car and opens the door, I hear him say something to Mama so low I can’t hear him. She laughs in response, and I smile to myself.

Reaching again into my plastic chess bag, I carefully remove the black king from the paper chess set and hold it tight in my hand.

I think for a minute before saying the only thing that can possibly match all of my confusing emotions. “To you, Daddy. I’ll always love and remember the part of you that never forgot to write me letters, didn’t let me win at chess, and will always love me forever. I hope you find the peace you’re looking for, too.”

Then I lift my palm to the sky, opening my fingers. The tiny piece flutters on the wind and eventually lands on the water. It floats lazily across the bayou until it slips beneath the lapping ripples and sinks out of sight. As I turn back toward the car, Daddy’s voice echoes through my head one final time.

Checkmate.





ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

THIS BOOK WOULDN’T EXIST without a specific TV show. I got the idea while watching Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. The program did a segment on the percentage of the U.S. population that is in prison (1 percent of all adult males), and I started thinking about how underrepresented the children of those prisoners are in fiction. So John Oliver started all of this, and I thank him for that.

Thank you to my mom and my sister, Krista, for always supporting me and reading all the books. I love you. Thanks to Bill, Eric, Amanda, and Matt for all of your love and excitement. Thanks to my husband, Ande, and our boys, Cameron and Parker. You make me happy each and every day. My heart is yours.

To my Forever Agent Mafioso, Kathleen Rushall—you are the reason any of these ideas hit the shelves. Thank you for always buying into my shenanigans.

To my fantastic editor, Angie Chen, thank you for truly understanding me and my stories and sharing my love for fluffy feline creatures. You made this story something I’m proud of. Thank you to Janine O’Malley for seeing the shine in the story and helping it land in a great place. Thanks to Simon Boughton and Joy Peskin for making me feel like I belong. Andrew Arnold, you are a visionary genius and I feel so lucky to have you putting a face on my stories. Thanks to Nicole Banholzer for fielding weird publicist questions and always being willing to help. Thanks to Katie Fee and Caitlin Sweeny for helping people hear about my stories. And massive thanks to the rest of the team at FSG: I wish I could send you cookies every day so you would understand how much I appreciate every little thing you do.

My dearest friends in the world are writers. They are the reason I am (mostly) still sane. All my love to my girls: Renee Collins, Bree Despain, Natalie Whipple, Sara Raasch, Kasie West, and Candice Kennington. I’ll never stop being grateful to all of you for being in my life. And for the other kindred authors nearby and around the globe who make this community the best—Nichole Giles, L. T. Elliot, Jennifer Bosworth, Jessica Brody, Marie Lu, Brodi Ashton, Morgan Matson, Jessica Khoury, Emmy Laybourne, J. Scott Savage, Leigh Bardugo, Gretchen McNeil, Tera Lynn Childs, Anna Carey, and so many others. I feel so lucky to call you all my friends.

Amazing author groups abound, and I’m grateful for my fellow Lucky 13s, the Friday the Thirteeners, the Binders Full of YA Writers, and the YA Scream Queens. Thank you for walking this path beside me.

Thanks to my weekly critique group, the Seizure Ninjas, for helping me whip all these words into shape. Janci Patterson, James Goldberg, Heather Clark, Michelle Argyle, Heidi Summers, Christopher Husberg, Cavan Helps, Leeann Setzer, and Megan Grey—I’m so happy I found you!

I’ve saved the best for last: thank you to my wonderfully amazing readers. Each email, tweet, and piece of fan art makes me excited to keep writing more stories. You’re the best. Thank you for taking time out of your busy lives for my books.





ABOUT THE AUTHOR

J.R. Johansson is the author of Insomnia and Paranoia. In researching for Cut Me Free, she found several stories about human trafficking which fueled her conviction to join the fight against it. J.R. Johansson lives on the foothills of the Utah mountains with her two young sons and a wonderful husband. You can sign up for email updates here.