The Row(91)

I am not sure how to respond to the things he is saying. This is the monster from all my nightmares. Only now I’ve finally discovered who the true monster was.

“You are so much like Jordan. So if I may, I’d like to give you a bit of the fatherly advice I think your father would’ve given you if he hadn’t been sick…” He waits until I nod before continuing. “You need to stop taking the world on by yourself. No one has shoulders that wide.”

My whole body shudders at the thought of what I lost today. That was absolutely something that the Daddy I loved so much would’ve said. I can actually picture him saying something similar over the table at Polunsky. I lean against Chief Vega as my legs start to wobble.

He helps keep me upright as he continues. “You saved Jordan, hopefully your mother, and yourself today. Try carrying that truth around for a little while. Lean on the weight of what that says about you. Hopefully then the rest will settle into place.”

I don’t dare speak. All I can do is hope that he’s right.

“Oh, and Riley?” he asks as he pivots me gently toward Jordan’s stretcher. “Please, call me Nick.”

The aching all over my body dulls slightly and I think of the conversation I had with Mr. Masters so long ago. I smile to myself at the memory. I turn back to face Jordan’s father. “How about Mr. Vega?”

He gives me a curious look and then shrugs. “Whichever you prefer.”

I find my strength once I meet Jordan’s eyes. He sits as far forward as he can on a nearby stretcher and I notice a paramedic trying to make him lie down. I run to his side and try to wrap my arms around him, but he winces while stopping me short, putting both hands on my shoulders as his eyes scan over me. “Are you really okay?”

“No, but I think I will be.” I stare down at the bandages around his foot as well as the bumps and cuts all over him. A huge bandage covers his head and I see some blood has seeped through onto the thick white gauze. Before I can examine him any further, he pulls me in tight against his chest. “I was so worried about you. I didn’t want my dad to wait for the other officer to take me outside before he went upstairs. I needed him to hurry to get to you—to your mom.”

“Why didn’t you go to the hospital?” I reach my fingers up to touch the corner of his swollen bottom lip where a deeper cut extends down nearly to his chin.

“I couldn’t go without you.” His skin pales, and he leans back against the stretcher again. He gently prods his forehead and winces. “They just took your mom on the other one. Will you ride over with me?”

“Yes, please.” My desperation to make sure Mama is okay overrides my fear of finding out she might not be. The paramedics lift Jordan’s stretcher into the ambulance.

I get myself in and seated, and my whole body trembles as I try to tell myself that Mama will be fine. As the paramedic is about to hop in and close the door, Jordan’s dad runs up and grabs the handle.

“I’ll lead the way,” he says with a glance at Jordan before looking over at me. “We’ll get you back to your mother as fast as we can.”

Jordan frowns like he thinks he heard him wrong. “Wait, you—you’re coming?”

Mr. Vega nods, his voice gruff with emotion. “I want to be there … with you. I asked Detective Jackson to take over processing the scene.”

Jordan still looks startled, but he finds the words he needs to say. “I—thank you, Dad.”

“I love you, Jordan—always,” he says quietly, before shutting the door and jogging over to his car.





38

I STAND BESIDE BRAYS BAYOU in Mason Park and let the warm breeze ruffle my hair. Jordan stands on my left, his hand curled around mine. Four days later, some of the swelling on Jordan’s face has started to go down. He wears a boot on his foot and will probably have a scar forever from the stitches up the right side of his forehead. When I look at him he smiles wide, and it feels like everything may honestly, truly be okay.

Today would’ve been Daddy’s last day if he’d stayed in prison. Tonight, just after midnight, would’ve been the time of Daddy’s execution. Instead, he’s already gone, and I stand here mourning everyone that I’ve lost.

Reaching in my pocket, I pull out the bag containing my paper chess set and clench it tight in my hand. My fingers tremble as I reach in and draw out a few pieces.

I stare out across the water and scatter white paper pawns into the air as I whisper the names: “To Maren Jameson, Sarah Casey, Hillary Vanderstaff, Valynne Kemp. We’ll never forget what you lost.”

Reaching back into the bag, I pull out the white king. I kiss it before releasing it. “And to Benjamin Masters. Thank you for sacrificing everything to keep us safe.”

The white king catches an updraft and disappears against the sky. I stop watching, happy with the idea that it may never land. Jordan squeezes my hand and finishes, “Rest in peace.”

I glance back at the car and see Mama watching us closely from the front passenger seat. She was released from the hospital less than an hour ago. The surgeon stopped her internal bleeding, and she’s improving daily, but nothing but time will heal the multiple broken bones, cuts, and bruises everywhere. Until then, she’s on strict orders to stay off her feet for the next several weeks.

Still, when I told her I wanted to come say goodbye, she asked me to do it on our way home from the hospital so she could be with me. Even after I told her she’d have to stay in the car and rest, she said she didn’t care. She just didn’t want me to be alone.