The Ripple Effect (Rhiannon's Law #3)(87)

From the world.

From the friends I kept at a distance.

From myself.

It wasn’t a good time to rehash memories, but I found myself doing it just the same. Each time she came at me, I remembered the good times—of us laughing, sharing secrets, and pretending our lives were different. We’d brush each other’s hair, making up stories of how it would be when we were adults and could make our own choices. Jennifer had wanted to be a counselor, to help children in the same situation we were in. I thought it was a perfect idea, a way for her to reach out to others as she healed herself.

Her clenched fist made solid contact with the side of my head, knocking me off balance. I tried to veer to the side but stumbled over my feet. That gave Jenny just the opportunity she needed. Down we went—her on top and me on bottom. Now different memories arose, of the night when she’d shoved our foster father’s body off me, revealed a knife, and stabbed me repeatedly in the abdomen to end my “suffering.” Then one thing was painfully evident.

She’d had no qualms about killing me then. She had no qualms about killing me now.

As she lowered her face I planted my fist in her nose, the power of the blow limited by my range of motion but enough to keep her fangs away from my throat. Thus began a struggle—my hands at her chin to keep my jugular clear of danger, her fingers clawing at my eyes and cheeks. She snapped at me, a vicious animal determined to break through my defenses. Her irises were becoming red, showing me the beast inside. This couldn’t go on forever. Eventually I’d lose my strength. When that happened, Jenny would win because I didn’t have the heart to end her life.

I couldn’t kill my own sister.


I had no way to defend myself.

“That’s why you have me.”

How long had Disco been listening to my thoughts? In my urgency to get to Jennifer, I realized he’d never left them. He knew everything and, now that I was focusing, I could feel his own remorse and guilt at my grief. He, too, was suffering. The loss of Paine much like the loss of a brother. It hurt him in ways that only I could understand, meaning our emotions blended and blurred, so similar they were nearly identical.

“Forgive me. There’s no other way.”

His large arm looped around Jennifer’s waist, forcing her up and away from me. He fisted a handful of her hair, thrust her head to the side, and buried his fangs in her throat. He drank deeply as she screamed and thrashed, drinking her dry, taking all she had. I cried as I watched, unable to do anything else. I wanted to tell him to stop, to let her go, but there was nothing more I could do for her. Her life was lost. Perhaps it had been from the moment Ray Bradshaw entered it.

So. Unf*cking. Fair.

“It’s the most merciful thing,” Disco whispered in my mind, allowing me to sense his guilt, left with no other choice but to drain her until there was no blood left. “Once she’s incapacitated, take her into the sun. She’s a fledgling who’s never fed, so she won’t waken. She’ll feel no pain. I swear it.”

“I can’t kill her.” I shook my head, sickened by the thought. “You can’t ask me to do that.”

“You won’t be killing her. You of all people know that life doesn’t end here,” he reminded me. “You’ll be setting her free, sending her off to a better place.”

I felt him hesitate, as though he was going to block his next thought, but then he shared it. “You said goodbye to Paine, didn’t you? I heard you speaking to him. I know you made him a promise of some kind before he departed this world. Send Jennifer where you guided him, so they can watch over each other. I ask that you make sure my brother-in-blood isn’t alone.”

Disco’s attempt to comfort me worked, clicking in my mind as shock and the desperate need to latch onto something resembling hope took me over. If Paine and Jennifer went to the same place, they’d be able to take care of each other. Maybe they’d even watch out for us on the other side. It was a shard of hope, shining bright in the darkness I’d found myself trapped inside.

Jennifer stopped struggling long before Disco stopped feeding. He lifted his head away, swiped the back of his hand across his lips, and lowered my sister into my arms. I wept silently, although my shoulders shook. My tears dripped onto her face, peppering my grief over her skin. She looked so peaceful like this, an angel among beasts.

“Is she suffering?” If she was, I hoped he’d lie.

“She isn’t aware of anything.” His response was a faint breeze against my ear as he pressed a kiss to the shell. “She is in what we refer to as deep sleep.”

“You’re sure she won’t feel anything? If I take her into the sun she won’t be aware?” I ran my finger over the thin arch of her brow where one of my tears had fallen, the wetness coating my skin.

Disco’s fingers wrapped into the hair at my nape, using enough pressure that I had to lift my head. He was so close to me our noses nearly brushed, his eyes an endless ocean of blue. There was so much love directed at me, the level of emotion so thick it nearly prevented me from breathing.

“I’m positive. There will be no pain.”

He sounded certain, but I needed to know for a fact. I had to make sure she wouldn’t suffer.

“How do you know that?”

“She’s newly turned and vulnerable. Without blood in her body, she’ll remain in a sleep state.” He ran his thumb over my lower lip, a wretched look of torment etched on his face. “I want to stop your hurt so badly, I ache with it. If I could carry this cross for you, I would.”