The Ripple Effect (Rhiannon's Law #3)(6)
“Forgive me.” I knew Disco would never beg, but those two words came pretty damned close. “I never should have done what I did. I’ve regretted it every single day since you left.”
My heart skipped a beat and I closed my eyes. “I know.”
“Then why haven’t you returned my calls?” He was so close I could smell the tantalizing fragrance of cinnamon and cloves. “Why haven’t you allowed me to make amends?”
I opened my eyes and met his gaze. He’d stopped mere inches away, close enough for me to touch him. There was no chance in hell that I’d tell him I’d listened to every single one of the messages he’d left because I couldn’t deny my need for him. Like a lovesick girl, I’d replayed each voicemail on nights when the loneliness was too much to bear. When I woke from dreams of the times spent in his arms before everything turned to shit, it was his voice I wanted to hear.
I miss you.
I’m sorry.
All I want is another chance.
I’m asking for forgiveness, even if I don’t deserve it.
Call me, Rhiannon. Please.
At times, even if I couldn’t stop myself from picking up the phone and listening to his soft, alluring baritone, I hated myself for it.
“Because I don’t know if I want to,” I said, tearing myself from the memory of his voice and the words I wanted to believe. “I don’t know if I can trust you.”
He started to reach out to me. Then, as if he remembered my previous reaction, he yanked his hand away. “You still think I’m no better than him, don’t you?”
Him being my former foster father. The pedophile had ruined my childhood and destroyed my foster sister. I’d never thought another man could come close to inflicting the harm that Ray had upon me, until Disco used his ability to break every barrier in my mind and force me to relieve every moment I’d endured while living under Ray Shaw’s roof.
“I don’t know what I think.” I stepped past him to start collecting the items Goose had brought into the house.
I’d just grabbed the head and body of the dead cat when Disco asked, “Do you still love me?”
Due to our connection, he already knew the answer. I was aware on some level that he wanted to hear it aloud, to know how I felt with absolute certainty.
“You know I do, but it’s not that simple.” I stood and walked to the cage to place the cat inside.
“Then make it that simple. All you have to do is give me a chance. I’ll never break your trust or hurt you again.”
“That’s the problem. I did give you that chance.” I closed the cage and picked up the bag beside it. Facing him, I hiked the satchel over my shoulder. “You went through all my memories by force. You know everything there is to know about me. I don’t have any secrets anymore. There is nothing that has happened in the past twenty-five years of my life you aren’t aware of. Did you honestly believe it would be as easy as saying you’re sorry? Or did you think because you’re the first man I’ve ever loved it would give you some kind of an advantage?”
“I don’t expect forgiveness to be easy. I’m ready to do whatever it takes. I want you back in my life.” He moved with the speed of his kind and stopped in front of me. “You can’t imagine how much I’ve missed you.”
Probably as much as I’ve missed you. “I need more time.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m afraid circumstances beyond my control have made that impossible.” He exhaled and lowered his hand. “Marius is coming home.”
I blinked at that, caught off guard. Fuckedy, f*ck, f*ck.
“Marius? As in your sire, Marius?”
“He knows what happened with Graham Tavish. He’s traveling here to get both sides of the story.”
“Both sides of the story? Is he aware that Graham tried to have you killed?”
“He is, and he’s also aware that you killed Graham because of it.” There was no anger or animosity in Disco’s eyes when he looked at me, only love and concern. “You destroyed a half-demon and controlled all of the vampires under his power while you did it. That’s caused quite a stir, Rhiannon. I could only keep it under wraps for so long.”
I tried not to panic. After all, what was done was done. Besides, I wasn’t finished as far as half-demon killing was concerned. “How much does Marius know?”
“He knows everything, apart from what transpired between us.” When I narrowed my eyes he said, “He’s my maker. I can only keep so many secrets from him.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means we have to come to an understanding. Marius knows how I feel about you, and since you killed a half-demon to save my life, he knows the feeling is mutual.” Disco reached out again and, though I flinched, I allowed him to envelop my elbows with his hands. “He can’t know that a chasm exists between us.”
“Why is that?” My voice betrayed me, my words coming out shaken as a result of his touch.
“The half-demons who exist in the mortal realm want you dead. Marius’s maker is a half-demon, and Marius has convinced him that you acted to defend your master. If Revenald has any reason to believe our relationship is false or your feelings have changed, he’ll view you as a threat.”