The Orphan's Tale(69)

I reach the edge of the forest and start for the footbridge. Then I stop, looking down at Theo, who gazes back at me with trusting eyes, counting on me to do what is best for him. This is so selfish of me, I think, my guilt rising. How can I risk his safety for this?

As I near town, the streets are deserted after curfew, lights are blackened out. I tuck Theo further beneath my coat. He squirms on my hip, no longer the newborn content to lie in my arms. I pray he will not cry out.

I do not take the main thoroughfare as I had when I came to town the day I met Luc; instead, I follow the side streets that run parallel to it, clinging to the shadows of the crumbling stone wall that runs along a climbing path.

The museum sits on the northern edge of the town center. It is a small castle that was converted to show the town’s history, now shuttered for good. The road leading to the gate is exposed, bathed in moonlight.

I stop uncertainly, my skin prickling. Meeting in the middle of town like this is foolish, I think, seeing Astrid glaring at me with disapproval in my mind. A heavy chain is wrapped around the gate of the museum, locking it. I step back angrily. Is this some kind of joke?

“Noa,” Luc calls through the darkness, signaling me around the side of the museum to a door. Inside, the cavernous main gallery is damp and musty. In the moonlight I can see that the once-grand hall has been pillaged. A torn painting hangs off the wall and pieces of armor lie broken on the ground. Behind shattered glass displays, exhibits are empty, their valuables taken by the Germans or looters. Something, a bird or bat perhaps, flutters in the darkness beneath the high ceiling.

“You came,” Luc says, as though he had not expected me to go through with it. He puts his arms around me and I deeply inhale his scent, a mix of pine and soap, burying my nose against his neck. Though it is only the second time he held me, his embrace feels like home.

His lips near mine and I close my eyes with anticipation. But Theo squirms between us and I pull back. “Is this safe?” I ask as he leads me into a small anteroom to one side. There he lights a candle, which flickers, illuminating our long shadows on the wall. There is a scratching sound as something scurries from the corner, seeking darkness.

“No one comes here,” Luc says. “It used to be the pride of the town. Not so much to be proud of anymore.” He looks down. “Is this your brother?” he asks, and I nod.

“There was no one to mind him.” I hear the apology in my voice. I search Luc’s face for a sign of annoyance, but there is none.

“Is he better now?” Luc asks with genuine concern.

“He’s fine. But it was a high fever, terribly scary. That’s why I couldn’t meet you last Sunday,” I add.

Luc nods solemnly. “I would have tried to see you sooner, but I knew it would be impossible until he was well.” He reaches into his coat. “Here, I brought this.” In his smooth open palm lies a cube of sugar. Real sugar. I fight the urge to grab it and shove it in my mouth. Instead I touch it to my tongue, shivering at the taste I’d almost forgotten. Then I lower it to Theo’s lips. He gurgles and smiles at the unfamiliar sweetness.

“Thank you,” I say. “I haven’t tasted real sugar since...” I falter, remembering how my father had squirreled some away for my birthday nearly a year earlier. “Since before the war,” I finish lamely.

“I told Papa that from now on, I would only live off the ration coupons like everyone else,” he says. “I don’t feel right having more than others.”

“Luc...” I am not sure what to say. He reaches out his hand to stroke the smoothness of Theo’s palm. “Do you want to hold him?” I ask.

“Really? I’ve never...” I pass Theo to Luc and the baby coos, falling naturally into his large arms. Luc lowers himself to the floor slowly, still cradling Theo. Theo’s eyes begin to grow heavy and then close.

Luc takes off his jacket and makes a soft bed of it for Theo, setting him down gently. Then he reaches for me, drawing me into his arms. “You found your way here with no trouble?” He kisses me, not waiting for an answer. I press closer to him, wanting more. I let his hands wander farther, and for a moment I am not broken and shamed, nor a circus freak. I am just a girl again.

But as his fingers graze my hips, I stop him. “The baby...”

“He’s falling asleep.”

I burrow closer in Luc’s arms. “We’re going,” I say sadly.

“I know. I promised to come see you in the next village, remember?”

“Not there,” I reply. “We’re going back to Germany, or at least somewhere close to it.”

His body stiffens and his frown grows deeper. “But that’s so dangerous.”

“I know. There isn’t a choice.”

“I’ll find you there, too,” he says earnestly.

“You could hardly come more than once.”

“Every week,” he counters. “More if you want.”

“But it’s really far,” I protest.

“So?” he asks. “Don’t you think I can manage it?”

“It’s not that. It’s just that...” I look down. “Why would you want to? I mean it’s so much trouble.”

“Because I can’t stand the thought of not seeing you again,” he blurts. When I lift my head, his cheeks are red, as though the air has suddenly grown warm. There’s a look of fondness in his eyes. How can someone who has known me such a short time feel so much affection, when those who had loved me my whole life seemed to have none?