The Loose Ends List(31)

My bee vibrates. Maddie, come to our cabin. I need to tell you something important.—Wes.

Now what? I’m curious, and a little tired of analyzing Pickle. I leave Janie drowning in a vast sea of whys and walk over to Uncle Billy and Wes’s cabin. Wes opens the door. He looks stressed as he leads me out to their balcony.

“Mads, I’m just going to tell you straight up: Dave died last night.”

“Oh my God,” I say. “Wait, who is Dave?”

“The alcoholic guy from our table.”

The familiar lump rises from my chest to my throat. Skinny Dave is dead.

“What? How did he die? I just saw him yesterday. What happened?” I grab the railing. Wes must see the shock on my face.

“Aww. Come here, Mads.” He hugs me, and I press my face against his chest.

“He was ready. He wanted to go, you know, the way he came to go.”

“Oh.” I picture the pathetic figure slumped over the lounge chair. “But he didn’t live out any of his last wishes. He didn’t do anything.”

“I know. He couldn’t. He was too far gone. He wrote us a note.”

“Why?” Wes doesn’t answer. He pulls a note out of his pocket and hands it to me. It’s written on a yellow piece of paper in neat handwriting.


Dear Maddie and Wes,



I want you both to know how much it meant to me that you treated me like a man. Most of my life, I’ve been the drunk good-for-nothing to everyone around me. You talked to me like a normal person, and Mom and I appreciate it more than you will ever know. I thought this would be good for us, but I feel like garbage. I’m ready now.

Be good.

Dave





I sit on the deck chair, stunned. Wes tells me he spoke to Dave’s mom. She said Dave had tried rehab and AA dozens of times, and it just didn’t work for him. He suffered so long he just couldn’t pull himself out of the abyss, not even for this trip. She told Wes she held his hand as the doctor gave him medicine to go to sleep. He was tucked in with his favorite blanket and hugging his childhood zebra. She kissed him, and he drifted off. She swore she had never seen him so peaceful.

Dave’s mom said she had felt Dave’s soul leave his body a long time ago. She wants to be alone with her grief, and she’s going to fly back home when we get to Rio.

I think about last night, when I stopped to talk to him. I had no idea he was about to die, but I’m glad I stopped, even if it was only for a minute. Wes reminds me that Dave loved Thai food, so I order us vegetable pad Thais. We sit on the balcony as morning makes the subtle shift to afternoon. Wes touches his pad Thai lime to mine, and we toast to Dave.

“Do you think Mom will ever get as bad as Dave?” I say.

“Dear God, I hope not,” Wes says.

We sit on that for a while.

“Wes, deep question. Do you think Uncle Billy is your great love?”

“You sound like Assy.” He throws his lime overboard. “She’s been harping on the great love thing. It’s easy to have a forbidden romance, leave the guy for sixty years, reconnect during the high-adrenaline act of dying, and then call it a great love. Billy and I are in the thick of things. He’s pissing me off royally right now. He’s such a prick.”

“Yeah, why is he so pissy?”

“Oh, he doesn’t know how to deal with Assy being sick. He holds everything in, and then he walks around with a stick up his ass.”

“So I guess he’s not your great love,” I say.

“Billy? Oh, he’s my love. I don’t know about great love. I had some ‘great’ loves in my day. They were great, but they weren’t love.”

“Wow. That’s depressing.”

“You’re such a teenager. Hey, can I trust you to keep a secret?” Wes has that devilish look in his eye.

“Actually, despite the fact that I’m a teenager, I can keep secrets. I’m keeping one for Janie as we speak.”

“You mean about the pickle? She already texted us. I say dump him. It’s not worth another notch in her notched-up bedpost.” He has a point. “Anyway, you know how Billy has always wanted a baby and I’ve always said no because I’m terrified of parenthood?”

“Yes. Didn’t he dump you once because of it?”

“Who told you that?”

“Gram.”

“Of course she did. Anyway, after we got married, I agreed to put our names on an adoption wait list, figuring it would take years and by then Billy would be too old to care.”

“So it worked. You’re both way too old now, right?”

“We’re not that old, Maddie. Actually we got a call right before Assy gave us her news. A pregnant woman chose us to love her baby.”

“What are you going to do?”

“At first I went bonkers. I panicked. But then all this happened, and everything feels different. I get it now. I want it to be more than two of us. I want to be a family.”

“You’re going to do it? I’m going to have a baby cousin?” I jump up and study Wes’s face, trying to assess if he’s serious or bullshitting.

“Yep. We’re taking the plunge. But don’t say anything to anyone. We want to make sure it’s official before we tell people.”