The Loose Ends List(28)

Gram has the biggest balcony of all of us. I’m barely functional now that the exhaustion from my Enzo night has caught up with me. But I’m massaging Gram’s knotty, raptor-like feet while she lies on the lounge chair telling me about Gloria’s cabin.

“She and the minister have been married sixty-two years. Their family gave them a bon voyage party, all excited that the minister and Gloria were treating themselves to a cruise. They never told their family what kind of cruise this is. To each his own.”

I squeeze lotion on the top of Gram’s foot. “Wait, the family thinks they’re on a regular cruise?”

“Yep. I can’t imagine getting on the ship without at least saying an honest good-bye. But people are funny that way.”

“So, what about the cabin?”

“Oh, the minister loves old cars and proposed to Gloria in a 1930s Ford. So they have a refurbished 1930s Ford bolted to their balcony. Every day, they sit in the front seat, holding hands and watching the sea.”

“Wow. Francesca Ivanhoe hooks people up, huh, Gram?”

“Don’t you mean your boyfriend’s mother?” Gram raises her eyebrows.

“He’s not my boyfriend. You’d better not say anything embarrassing like you did with Ty.”

“Oh, stop. You girls are too easily embarrassed. If Enzo’s anything like his mother, we’ll get along just fine. I adore Francesca. That woman is an incredible force. She understands what I’ve been trying to say to you kids. She took all that pain in her life and grew something beautiful.” She waves her hand. “Come here.”

I wipe my hands on a towel and sit on the edge of Gram’s chair.

“That’s what you should always do, Mads. Take the pain and grow beauty.” She sits up and faces me. “You know I’ve always loved volcanoes. I love how they spew searing, deadly lava that goes on to nurture the most beautiful landscapes on earth. It’s from searing pain that the deepest beauty can sprout.”

I know she’s right. I just don’t see much beauty coming from the things I’ve seen on this ship.

“You’re a wise old lady, Astrid North O’Neill.” I lean over and kiss her cheek.

“Who’s calling me old, you little shit? Anyway, back to Gloria and the minister, bald as billiard balls and sailing along in their little car. That’s great love.”

“Do you wish you’d had sixty-two years with Bob?”

“Hell, no. Then I wouldn’t have my precious babies.” She points her finger at me. “Martin was an angel, and he’s still my angel. But when I’m next to Bobby, my heart flutters.” She holds her hand on her heart. “It’s electric.”

“Gram, you’re blushing.”

“Am I? Great love does that, honey.”



I can’t stop thinking about Enzo. I take Paige for a birthday manicure, and she makes me tell her every detail of my night. “If Ethan kissed like a jackhammer dipped in beer, then Enzo kisses like the moon dipped in music,” I tell her.

“What a beautiful kissing metaphor,” she says. “I need to kiss Lane more.”

Paige tells me her first kiss was with a kid a foot shorter than her who gave her a hickey on her face. I almost blow the whole surprise party by telling her how I want to invite Enzo but he doesn’t socialize much with guests. I’m so glad I catch myself before the destructive blurt. Lane would be pissed.



On the way to the party, Janie and I run into Skinny Dave walking out of the infirmary. His hair is greasy, and he smells like stale urine. He stops and says hello, and that he won’t be able to make the party because he’s not feeling well.

“Feel better,” I say.

I stop for a split second and look him in the eye, remembering how I covered him in towels and helped him get comfortable last night. It was a bizarrely intimate moment between three strangers, and he has no clue it even happened.

“Thanks, Maddie,” he says as the elevator opens.

Janie adjusts her pink bathrobe. “He stunk,” she says.

“Stop. He’s sick.”

“With what?” I don’t want to get into it, so I change the subject.

“Did I mention how good Enzo smells?”

“Okay, enough with the Enzo talk. It’s wearing on me already.”

The ballroom ceiling is open, and there’s a bonfire in a fire pit in the middle of the room. This would never happen on a normal cruise ship. The comfy sofas and chairs from the café are set up around the fire, and there’s a box of long sticks on a table stacked with marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate bars. Mom’s gabbing with Vito’s daughter Roberta on one of the sofas. This trip is turning both my parents into social butterflies. Jeb appears to be flirting with Camilla, who is very cute, but she’s missing the obligatory eyebrow rings, tattoos, and cat-eye glasses of Jeb’s usual type.

Dad looks like a balding toddler in his fuzzy slippers. Embarrassing father aside, it’s funny to see all these people in sleepwear. The room vibrates with laughter and excitement. Wes and Uncle Billy escort Aunt Rose in her floral nightgown to a chair next to Gram and Bob. Paige’s parents come in with baby Grace. Wes reaches up to take her, and she goes right to him.

Our bees buzz at the same time. Shh. We’re on our way! Eddie fiddles around with the karaoke machine, and the two screens on either side of our giant circle light up with the lyrics to “Brown-Eyed Girl.”