The Knocked Up Plan(39)

“It’s okay,” she mutters, but her voice hitches.

“I know how much you wanted this. I thought it was going to happen,” I say softly in her ear. I wish I could take away her sadness.

“Me, too.”

She doesn’t cry, though. She lets me hold her, and she wraps her arms around me. As much as I wanted to have her again, I’d rather she be happy. I’d rather all her dreams come true.

She raises her face. “Want to know what really sucks?”

“Tell me.” I tuck a finger under her chin, meeting her eyes.

“I feel so stupid.” Her lips quiver.

“Don’t say that. Why would you say that?”

She swipes at her cheek. “I really thought it worked. I was so foolish. I know better, Ryder.” She grips my shirt. “I’m supposed to be this smart and rational woman, and instead, I became a fluttery, hopeful fool. I couldn’t imagine any other outcome than wonderful beginner’s luck.”

She rolls her eyes.

“You’re not a fool,” I say, soothing her as I rub her shoulders. “You’re just a normal person who wanted something badly. You stayed positive and believed in the possibilities. That doesn’t make you foolish. It makes you human.”

“It makes me idiotic. I should have known better. Instead, I practically walked around Manhattan with a hand on my belly, dreaming.” She lets out a long, frustrated sigh.

“Stop saying that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting something. So often we think we need to temper our hope so we’re prepared for bad news. Guess what? Bad news hurts whether you’re prepared for it or not. There’s nothing wrong with hoping for the best.”

“Ryder,” she whispers, “I feel so dumb.”

My heart aches for her. I press a kiss to her forehead. “You’re anything but that. It didn’t happen the first time. So we try again.”

She rests her cheek against my chest and breathes in heavily then sighs against me. All of a sudden, she flinches and looks up. “I didn’t even ask if you mind if we keep trying. I just assumed.”

I grin. “You know what they say about when you assume.”

“You’ll make an ass of you and me?”

I shake my head, giving her a naughty look. “No. When you assume, it means I get to bite your ass.”

When she smiles what is clearly a please-bite-my-ass yes, it lights me up in a whole new way. Different than before. Not just in a physical way, but inside my chest, like a lightbulb is glowing.

It’s such a strange sensation, and I’m not sure what to make of it. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Wallowing in ice cream.”

I mime hitting a buzzer. “Wrong. It’s date night. I’m taking you cupcake tasting. Call me sexist, but I’m going to presume since it’s that time of the month that you don’t mind eating sweets.”

She runs her hand down my arm. “Let me tell you something, handsome, so you never have to make any assumptions about sweets and me.” She pats her stomach. “I’ve got an equal opportunity belly. Any time of the month you can put sweets in me.”

“I’ve got something I’d like to put in you,” I say, because I can’t resist.



I could watch her eat cupcakes all day long. She dips her finger into the pink frosting and sucks it off with a low, sexy moan.

Or maybe that’s why I could watch her eat cupcakes anytime. Because she’s fucking torturing me. Making me think of sucking. And licking. And how far she could take me.

I’m sitting in a white and pink cupcake shop, surrounded by families, little kids squealing over mini chocolate cupcakes, moms and dads scarfing down confetti cupcakes, and I’m aroused. Under the white wood table, I make an adjustment. Good thing we grabbed a spot in the corner, far away from everyone. Pop music plays overhead, and the scent of sugar wafts through the air.

Nicole lifts the pink cupcake and darts her tongue along the frosting. “You’re going to need to stop making love to the frosting,” I whisper harshly.

She shoots me a naughty little glare. “But it’s soooo good,” she says, the same, drawn-out way she says it feels soooo good when I fuck her.

I drag a hand over my face as I slump back in the chair. “You’re killing me.”

“How does tonight rank on your dates list, then?” She winks.

I laugh. “With your cupcake antics, it’s pretty damn high. The trouble is, I’m still turned on, so how about we discuss something non-arousing?”

“Basketball? Sweaty gym shoes? Oh, wait. I know.” Her eyes light up with a wicked flare. “My neighbor Frederick.”

“And his plunger.” I raise my index finger and then let it droop. “You have successfully entered the anti-erection zone.”

She smiles and reaches a hand across the table, squeezing mine. “And you have successfully lifted my spirits.”

I look down at the table then up at her. Her eyes are wide and vulnerable, full of emotion. “I’m glad, Nicole. I don’t like it when you’re sad.”

“Seriously. I’m so grateful. I’m still completely bummed that it didn’t work, but you made me feel good tonight.” Her voice hooks into me, stirring some emotions best forgotten. Maybe that’s because this whole arrangement with her feels so real, so honest. The way she talks, her openness about her heart—it’s the complete opposite of my cagey, clandestine ex.