The Knight (Endgame #2)(32)

Chapter Twenty-One





In the next few hours the landscape of my room changes drastically. Christopher insists that Harper leave the motel. Any of the ritzy hotels will suffice. Harper wants me to come with her, but I decline for the same reason that I wouldn’t go with Justin. I want to survive on my own, however painful it is. And it’s pretty painful watching my friend pack her stuff.

“Come with me,” she says again, eyes imploring.

“I think you just want me as a shield,” I tease her. “I don’t think Christopher’s that bad.”

“Um, whose side are you on? He’s awful. And I wouldn’t turn down a shield. Or an entire fortress and drawbridge even. But I want you to come because you’re my friend.”

Impulsively I reach for her, enclosing her slender frame in my arms. “It’s good he came for you. You don’t belong here.”

“You don’t either,” she says, grasping my arms and giving me a little shake.

Maybe the old Avery St. James didn’t belong here. The new Avery doesn’t belong anywhere.

I force a smile. “Text me.”

“Like every other minute.”

And then she’s gone in a black sedan, leaving me with a solemn Justin. He offered to take me to a hotel, too. Apparently he’s here on secret business, meeting with some Tanglewood businesspeople for fundraising purposes. That means he has a suite at the Ritz.

He’s made a deal with the devil. We have that in common now.

“You don’t have to stay,” I tell him.

“I’d like to,” he says. “If you want me to leave, I’ll get another room, but I’d feel better watching over you.”

I glance at the double bed with its rumpled sheets. It was one thing to lie in bed with Harper, watching old movies until we pass out sprawled on top of the covers. Another thing to share a bed with the boy I would have married, the one who dumped me. The one who wants me back.

And the strangest part is that it feels like a betrayal to Gabriel Miller.

His hold on me is horrible and inescapable.

“We won’t do anything,” Justin says, following my look. “I’ll sleep on top of the covers. With my clothes on.”

I can’t find it in my heart to send him away, not when he’s trying so hard. And maybe there is a chance for us. I loved things about him once—his generosity, the way he made me laugh. Come to think of it, I loved the same things about him that my mother loved in my father.

So that’s how I end up under the sheets, my body frozen in place as the next-door neighbor does her business. Neither Justin nor I have moved for fifteen entire minutes—I’ve been counting. But there’s no way he’s asleep. No way I can sleep with the moaning happening behind us.

“Spread them,” a coarse voice says. “Yeah. Fuck. Wider.”

I’m sure my face would be beet red with embarrassment. At least the lights are off, leaving only the pale wash of moonlight through the curtains.

The banging grows louder and more forceful, vibrations running through the wall and into the loose bed frame we’re in. God. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “You can leave if you want.”

“No,” he says, his voice strangled. “It’s… Does this happen every night?”

“Pretty much.”

“Why is it…” He swallows audibly. “For so long?”

I want to sink into the ground. “There are…multiple men. I think it’s her job.”

“Oh.”

The silence grows until it’s a dark presence in the room, a counterpoint to the wild sex noises coming from across the wall. I feel like I can barely breathe, the awareness of what’s happening stealing the air. And the worst part is that I can feel Justin move, ever so slightly, as if he’s uncomfortable, as if he can’t help himself.

Finally he sits up and faces me, his expression hidden in shadows. “Avery, I can’t hold this in anymore. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. I want you so much.”

I scoot back against the headboard. “What are you doing?”

“I know your first sexual experience was scary, but I swear I would be gentle with you. Let me take care of you. I’ll show you how it can be when you love someone.”

My mouth drops open. “What are you talking about?”

“Gabriel Miller,” he says, the name infused with hate. “He hurt you.”

“He didn’t.” At least not the way Justin’s implying, with sex.

“I can see it, Avery. The way you shrink away when you think I might touch you. At least you used to let me kiss you without looking scared.”

“We were engaged then.”

“And we could be again. We should be. We belong together.”

“What does that even mean?”

“We come from the same world. Gabriel Miller shouldn’t even be allowed to touch you. And that he took your virginity. Fuck, Avery. Sometimes I want to—”

“Don’t. You don’t get to defend my honor. Not after you left me.”

He relents with a rough sound. “I deserve that.”

The words come tumbling out of me. “And Gabriel Miller has his faults, but he’s always been honest. In his own way he’s even tried to help me.”