The Girl Who Cried Wolf(37)

‘Save Marley for me, Anna.’ Then her beautiful aquamarine eyes are gone.

My next breath is equally painful and I fight the urge to throw up, fearing I may choke as a nurse tells me in what is presumably her most soothing voice to try and breathe normally. If I could have felt my arms I would have grabbed her, but I can only lie motionless with each shuddering breath.

A familiar voice enters the room and I hear Mr Raj tell me to open my eyes. I am reassured by his presence, but my efforts are rewarded with an excruciating beam of light into my left pupil. Utterly enraged, my strength slowly returns, but I am jabbed with a sedative injection before I have the chance to throttle him.

My next awakening is a little less painful, and I open my eyes to see three worried faces: Izzy, Michael, and my mother. I smile at Izzy, offer Michael a look of pure love, and frown crossly at Lillian. They stare back at me before my eyes close and sleep steals me away.

I dream of uncertain creatures, animals that change form from beast to human. I hope I am dreaming as I hear Izzy telling me she has borrowed my Patrick Cox ballet pumps. My eyes squint open a painful crack as she laughs and tells me, ‘Ha! I knew you were listening!’ She presses the nurse call button by my bed. ‘Don’t get your knickers in a twist; I can’t find where you’ve hidden them.’

I cannot speak but I can smile inwardly. When I found out I had cancer I hid my favourite shoes in the attic so she would never get her hands on them if I ever did kick the bucket.

I open my eyes again, feeling incredibly unsure of what was happening to me. The tube was thankfully removed from my throat and my head pounded.

‘Anna!’ My mother comes rushing into the room and holds my hand, planting a gentle kiss on my forehead.

There is a little bit of commotion as two nurses fuss round me, and the next person I see is Mr Raj.

‘Well, Miss Winters,’ he smiles proudly. ‘Did I not tell you that you were in safe hands?’ He shines the light in my eyes again and continues his fondness for ridiculous questions.

‘Can you tell me your first name?’

‘Anna.’ I think the word with certainty but they do not reach my mouth. I have not forgotten my name, but I have forgotten how to speak.

‘How many fingers?’

I frown as I look up at his hand, but all of his fingers are blurred, and even if I could talk, I could not possibly distinguish one from another.

‘Miss Winters, can you blink once if you can hear me.’

I blink to show him I understand and a frightened tear escapes as I slowly open and close my eyes. My mother tightens her grip on my hand just a little. She looks to Mr Raj.

‘Don’t worry, dear. We are very pleased that you have woken up. We had to keep you heavily sedated after I operated on your tumour. Yesterday we removed sedation and were delighted that you were breathing without support. You will feel very disorientated for a while as your brain and body adjust to normal function, but your CT scan was very promising.’ He leans forward and I feel calmer as I can now focus on his kind brown eyes. ‘Very promising indeed.’

I hear my mother ask him anxiously, ‘She will be all right, won’t she? You said everything went well despite her collapse.’

I widen my eyes to signal my alarm and Izzy appears next to them. ‘You collapsed at home before they could operate, but the tumour has gone now, Anna. You just need to rest and get better so we can take you home.’ Her lovely eyes are full of tears and I am glad she is there. Izzy is always so certain where Mother is questions and constant worry. I do not want to hear the details and held on to Izzy’s confident words. ‘The tumour has gone.’

Mr Raj continues his examination and I have to blink in response as he checks I have sensation from my head to my feet, more shining light into my pupils and then he retreats with his colleagues, ordering me to rest. I look over to my mother’s pale face and try to manage a smile. I am so tired I feel I could sleep for a thousand years until my thoughts turn to one focus, Michael. But the sound is jumbled and comes out in a soft moan. I try again but Mother irritatingly keeps shushing me and tells me to rest. I close my eyes crossly to shut her out, and when I next open them, I am overjoyed to see him beside me.

‘Hello, darling.’ Despite being half dead I almost leap up at the sound of his voice, and manage what I hope is a pretty smile.

He strokes my head tenderly and offers me a drink from a glass with a straw. ‘They say you need to have lots of fluids. I’m going to take care of you.’ He helps me sit forward slightly and I sip some water. The icy cold liquid tastes so foreign in my mouth but soothes my throat beautifully. I take big gulps for Michael, wanting him to take care of me. I lie back against the pillows and wished I was wearing lip gloss.

He smiles at me and says, ‘Do you remember when I’d had my operation?’ I nod happily, remembering falling in love. ‘I woke up so confused I thought you were a nurse till I saw your headscarf. You wouldn’t leave me alone, making sure I ate and drank and did my exercises.’ I smile again as he tells me it is his time for revenge.

‘I won’t let an hour go by without fussing about with protein shakes and orange segments!’ He leans forward and kisses my brow. ‘I have to go and fetch your mother; she made me promise to as soon as you woke up.’ I frown and try to tell him not to be crazy, I am happier when it is just the two of us, but he is up and rushing excitedly out of the door before my lips whisper one tiny sound, ‘Michael.’