The Girl I Was Before (Falling #3)(84)

When the game starts, the conversation shifts to every play. Ty is his brother’s biggest fan, and there isn’t a move that happens on that field he doesn’t have something to say about—even if Nate’s not involved in the play. Everyone was right, though, when they said Nate was gifted. He’s not really any bigger than the other guys, but there’s something about the way he carries his bat to the plate that makes him intimidating.

He picked off two people at second. I used to go to a lot of McConnell games with my dad when I was young—at least one a week when I was ten and eleven, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a successful pickoff in person. Nate just made two, and he made them look easy.

Paige stays near her sister and Rowe. The few times I look back, I can tell they’re talking. I’m not sure if she’s telling them about the story in the paper, or if she’s talking about us. I’m in the dark, and it’s starting to suffocate me a little. By the time the game’s over, I’m anxious to stand. I take the steps and stop near the end of the bleachers while Ty waits for Nate, and the three girls huddle together talking even more. After a few minutes, Paige glances up and sees I’m standing alone.

“Hang on,” she says to Cass and Rowe, excusing herself to come talk to me. I think I might be a little offended.

“Hey,” she says. It’s a guilty hey, and now I feel like shit that she feels guilty.

“Hey,” I say back. Lame.

“Cass wants me to go with them, to some barbecue or whatever,” she says. She looks tired, and she looks beaten down. It’s from waiting for the other shoe to drop; I can tell.

“Yeah, Ty mentioned something. We can go…if you want,” I say, but while I’m talking I can read her face. She doesn’t want me to go. What the f*ck?

“I was thinking, it might be nice…to have a little time with my sister? I’m sorry. Is that…” she doesn’t finish.

Is that rude? Well not when she puts it that way. But it feels rude, or wrong, or something that is definitely opposite of good. But it’s her sister, and she just lent her reputation to help expose drug abuse in the Greek system—or so the story played out this morning. I guess I can cut her some slack on wanting to go somewhere without me. I might be being a little…f*ck, am I clingy?

“Sure,” I smile. “If you need a ride, or…or whatever.” I hold up my phone.

She glances back at her sister and Rowe, and they’re watching us closely. I know she’s not going to kiss me in front of them, so I nod in understanding. It’s okay, Paige. For now, this is still okay.

Ty pushes up next to me.

“Nate will be a few minutes, then we’ll head over to Center,” he says.

“Actually, I’ve gotta run. I’m sorry, but it’s my mom…you know how that goes,” I lie. I hate using my mother as a pawn—almost as much as I hate lying, but the longer I stand here, the more I really want to leave. Paige is walking away with the girls, and she glances back at me once, our eyes meeting, and from this distance I can read them more clearly. She’s saying she’s sorry. I have no idea what for. And it’s making me sick as hell.



Paige



“Why do they only ever serve beer at these damn parties,” I say, my red cup in my hand while I stand in line with Rowe and Cass.

“Because it’s cheap,” Cass says, stepping up to the Keg and filling hers.

“Cheap,” I say. “Exactly.”

I don’t really like beer, but I’ll drink it. I’ll drink dish soap tonight if I have to just to numb the guilt and stress. I had every intention of telling Cass about the video, but the words won’t come out. I’ve searched a few times on my phone, and there still doesn’t seem to be anything about the source in any of the stories. Maybe…just maybe I’ll skate by.

“Are you seriously not drinking?” I ask, looking to Rowe standing behind me. She doesn’t have her cup in her hand, and I’m not giving her mine.

“Rowe doesn’t hold her liquor well,” Cass teases.

“She’s right,” Rowe shrugs. “It’s fine. I’ll take care of you two; make sure you get home. Make sure you don’t go home with the wrong person.”

She’s joking, and her nervous laugh is waiting for me to join in. I smile, then turn to the tap and let my lips fall back to a flat line. No, Rowe—I plan on going home to someone. But now I’m all f*cked up over that, too.

“I can’t believe she’s here,” Cass says, gripping at my arm, making me spill a little of my drink.

“Bitch,” I say. I used to tease her with that word all the time, but it’s been a while. It doesn’t feel right saying it like it once did. I grab a towel from the table and wipe the drips from my jeans, then turn to see who she’s talking about. I know before I look. I think part of me knew she’d be here. That’s why I wanted Houston to stay home.

“Is that her?” Rowe asks. Cass nods and whispers something in her ear. I glide to the back, hiding behind them both as we pass into the living room, dozens of bodies and a few sofas coming between Chandra and me.

“Paige, go ask her about it. Go see what’s up,” Cass says, pulling on my arm, trying to urge me to the front of our small group.