The Firework Exploded (The Holidays #3)(32)

The two of them go back and forth, trading insults and punches to the arm. Ever since I made Alex my best man and Nicholas decided to get ordained online so he could perform the ceremony, the two of them have been arguing about which job is more important. I try to ignore them like I have for the last few months, when my phone suddenly vibrates in my front pocket.

My jaw goes slack, my eyes glaze over, and I have to clutch onto the edge of the table to stop myself from falling out of my chair. I finally understand what all the rage is with women and vibrators. Even with the two jack asses trading verbal insults right next to me, I can’t stop my dick from coming to life in my cargo shorts when another quick burst of vibration rumbles right against the side of my shaft.

Would it be wrong if I excused myself and went into the bathroom to jerk off? If Noel asks, I could just tell her it was research for our wedding night. You know, making sure my dick is in tip-top shape and will be able to perform the duties at hand.

Not only did we vow to not have sex until the wedding, we both decided there would be no masturbating allowed either. I stupidly agreed to this when I was pre-occupied, looking out of our bedroom window for any signs of Turd Ferguson in our yard, clutching a small gardening shovel in my hand after I’d heard a noise out on the lawn. No sex with Noel and no masturbating has made Sam a very horny man.

“Quick, someone call my phone,” I whisper, staring wide-eyed at the red, white and blue floral centerpiece in the middle of the table, wondering how good the fake, silk flowers would feel if I grabbed them and rubbed them against my dick.

“Did you lose it or something? Hold on, let me try,” Alex states, grabbing his phone from the table and pressing a few buttons.

My phone immediately starts vibrating against my dick again and my whole body jerks, making me slap my palms on top of the table and let out a low moan.

“It’s ringing, but I don’t hear anything,” Alex notes, oblivious to the silent pleasure happening in my pants right now.

I don’t realize how bad this situation is and I don’t even care if I’m two seconds away from coming in my pants right in front of Noel’s brother and my best friend, in my future in-law’s kitchen. It’s been too long since I had an orgasm and…holy shit I’m so glad I switched the number of rings on my phone from five to ten.

“Yeah, that’s the good stuff,” I mumble, my ass rocking back and forth on the wooden chair seat.

“Are you even listening for the sound of your phone? What is wrong with you?” Alex snaps with a shake of his head while I try not to groan in frustration when the vibrations suddenly stop.

“Wait, I thought I heard something. Call him again,” Nicholas says, craning his neck and moving to my side.

Yeah, call me again. Call me again right now!

“I don’t have time for this bullshit, I’ve got a best man speech to write,” Alex complains under his breath, pulling the phone away from his ear and hitting redial.

Dial that phone, bitch, DIAL IT!

“Yeah, well I have an entire ceremony to write, so you can just f*ck right off, cum bucket!”

“Choke on a dick, phallus f*cker!”

“Eat my *, cum stain!”

Everyone needs to stop saying the word “cum”. Why is that word so hot all of a sudden?

Closing my eyes, I tilt my head back and try to think of baseball stats and recite Who’s on First, but everything turns dirty with each rumble of my phone in my pants and before long, I’m mumbling incoherently and I can feel sweat dripping down my back.

“Cum’s on first, What’s on cum, I Don’t Know is on cum…”

“What the hell are you muttering? I’m calling you again. I still don’t hear anything. Maybe you left your phone in your car,” Alex complains, hitting redial once again and holding the phone to his ear. “It’s still ringing, so at least the battery isn’t dead.”

Yeah, ring faster, that’s it.

“Everyone shut up!” Nicholas shouts, holding his hands in the air. “Do you hear that? It’s a low humming sound.”

I hear nothing but ringing in my ears and quite possibly the thumping beat of my heart pounding through my balls with each vibrating ring, pulsating in long bursts right against my dick. I want to come. I need to come. It would be so, so wrong to come right now in Reggie and Bev’s kitchen without Noel present. This would not be a good start to our marriage and definitely a bad end to our self-induced sex hiatus.

I’m still scooting back and forth against the chair like a dog rubbing its ass on the carpet. I can’t stop it. I have no control over my body at this point and my dick is so hard it’s most likely going to have zipper imprints down the length of it from pushing against the front of my pants, trying to break free.

I wonder if that would be like wearing a ribbed condom for Noel? I might be on to something…

The vibrations suddenly stop and I let out a panting breath and open my eyes, wondering why I’m not more thankful I can start thinking coherently again. All I want to do is flip the table in front of me and fight someone. My dick is angry, which in turn, makes me angry. No one likes an angry dick, especially me.

“Call it one more time. I swear I heard something,” Nicholas whispers, bending closer to me as Alex quickly redials, and I wonder if it’s possible to die from holding in an orgasm.