The Fear That Divides Us (The Devil's Dust #3)(18)

“How do you know all that?” I ask.

He leans in close, too close, his lips brushing against my ear. “I have seen you sneak into the lounge to see the score of a football game,” he replies softly. “You are always wearing pink scrubs, and I never see you at company functions.”

I pull my face from his, my cheeks flushing from the amount of blood pumping through my body from how close he is, but he’s wrong. I wear pink scrubs because they are the only ones that were in my size when I last went shopping. And I hate sports with a passion. That day I was in the break room, when he is referring to me sneaking off, I had heard they found a dead body in Nevada; it was all over the news in the surrounding states. I was scared to death of who that corpse may belong to, so I watched the news every chance I got that day. I live in constant fear that Travis’s body will be found. Fear of my past, fear that it may come forward and repeat itself. It turned out to be some judge who had gone missing due to Alzheimers. How they haven’t found a body that belongs to my ex-husband is beyond me. I guess the Devil’s Dust is that good, which is frightening.

I give a weak smile at Shane and look across the coffee shop. A young couple, both with blond hair are snuggled closely together. The young, handsome guy’s whispering into the woman’s ear. Her face down, there’s a glow staining her cheeks. I notice her hand sliding up his leg under the table, sneaking a feel. They look so lost in one another, completely oblivious to the rest of the world. I look away, thumbing the top to my coffee. I don’t want love. It starts out like something out of a fairy tale sure, but it ends like a horror movie. I glance back up, watching the couple. I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss those days of having butterflies and laughing over nothing from being so stupidly in love. The sudden thought of love consumes me, ravishing my mind. Sometimes, I wonder if I am in love with Bobby. The way he makes me feel when I am with him and how our bodies speak to one another when we have sex always stays with me. But then I remember what it feels like when your world is turned upside down; how it felt to run as the sun was rising, terrified. I quickly realize love is not a good thing, nor something I want to pursue with anyone.

“I need to get home. I work tomorrow,” I state, standing up. My thoughts taking a turn for the worse, I suddenly feel uncomfortable.

Shane smirks, and stands with me. “Right, well let’s get you home then. But I’m serious; you owe me a date.”

Walking out of the coffee shop, a bright flash glares in my face making me wince and cover my eyes.

“Get back!” Shane hollers in the direction of the blinding flashes, grabbing my hand, and yanking me forward. I look past the flashing and see a man with a camera, who’s frowning at Shane’s harsh tone.

Shane opens the door to his car and shoves me in, before racing around, and getting in on the other side.

“What was all that about?” I ask, my hands shaking from the excitement.

“Who knows. Let’s get you home,” he replies, his body stiff and unfriendly. For the first time since I met Shane, he is not looking at me when he is talking to me, and his eyebrows are pinched together in frustration. He is lying. I can tell.

I sigh. I just need to get home. This whole date was a big mistake. My nerves are on end, and I may throw up. My mind instantly coming to Bobby, wanting to seek comfort in something familiar.

As soon as Shane drops me off at my apartment, I tell him goodbye and head toward the building. Not giving him the chance to ask to come up, or the ‘should we kiss’ awkwardness that might follow after going out with someone. I go inside and dig for another wine bottle in my cabinets, needing the comforting numbness it brings. I sigh and lower the bottle. Deep down, I know I could just go find Bobby and he’d stifle the overwhelming loneliness that’s eating away at my conscience, but I know I shouldn’t.

Bobby

Small hands slide up my legs, waking me from my sleep.

The familiar scent of coffee and perfume greet me: Jessica. I sit straight up, only to be knocked back onto my bed when Jessica plows herself into me. Her hands grasp the side of my face as her plump lips kiss mine feverishly. I wrap my hands around her back, and pull her onto me, my dick tightening knowing what’s to come. Jessica’s body does something to me, makes my dick crave for more. When Jessica and I are together, the rest of the world doesn’t exist. Nothing from today or yesterday matters. It’s just us, delivering what the other needs… each other. Sliding her hands into my hair, she pushes herself closer. Her tongue darts into my mouth, deepening the kiss.

This is Jessica 101: her sleeping with me has to be on her terms. I lay the charm on thick, yet she denies me on the spot. She does eventually come around, usually in the middle of the night.

She pulls her body away from me, her hands cupping my cheeks.

“Bobby.” She rests her forehead against mine, the smell of coffee and alcohol slipping from her breath.

“Yeah,” I reply.

“What do you know about me?” she asks, her voice giving off a sense of vulnerability.

“What’s wrong, babe?” I ask, sensing something is off. I sit up, with her still in my lap. The light from the hallway skids underneath my door providing just enough glow to see her flushed face. Her eyebrows are furrowed and her eyes hold a sense of grief.

“Just, tell me what you know about me,” she demands, her tone soft but stern. I rub my face and think about it, trying to make sure I don’t say the wrong thing.