The Fear That Divides Us (The Devil's Dust #3)(17)

She taught me the emotional side of being with someone intimately. The way she touched me with such care, and her body igniting from the simplest of touches, I was taken into another realm while having sex with her and I responded by drowning her in pleasure. Making her feel admired and wanted… because she was.

I made love to her that night. It was incredible and mind altering. I didn’t know what to take away from it; she brought a side out of me I never knew existed. She didn’t show up at the club for four weeks after that. I thought I had my heart broke as a kid, but having Jessica not return my calls, and acting as if nothing had happened; it was f*cking brutal. When she did finally come back to the club, it was to tell me we could only be friends; that she couldn’t be anything more even if she wanted to. I have complied since then. I’d rather have what I can of her, than nothing at all.





4


Jessica





I wait outside of my apartment for Shane to collect me. The night, thick with humidity, causes sweat to bead along my legs. It’s only spring but summer is making an early appearance.

“This is stupid,” I whisper, looking at my phone for the time. I don’t do dates, yet this is a date. Shane is a nice guy, but I don’t want to give him the wrong impression. Dates lead to feelings, which lead to love and ending in heartache. I look down at my black dress and black heels. What was I thinking, dressing up like this? I should have dressed in sweat pants or something unattractive. This is going to give him the wrong idea for sure.

Just as I’m about to turn around and head back into the building, Shane pulls up in a red convertible. I wonder if he’s trying to compensate for the size of his penis with such a flashy car. I bite my lip trying to stifle the laughter rippling up my throat at the internal thought.

“Sorry, I’m late,” he says. I step up to the car and slip into the passenger seat before he has the chance to get out. I don’t want him to open my door for me, or have the idea this is anything other than two colleagues going out for dinner. That’s it.

“Where would you like to go?” Shane asks, shutting his door, twisting in his seat to look at me. As usual, his blond hair is combed back and he is wearing a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and what looks like khakis. I can’t really tell in the dark car.

“Me? You’re asking me?” I asked surprised, pointing to myself.

“Yes. I had to bribe you into coming on this date in the first place, so where can I wine and dine you? Where will you feel most comfortable?” Shane questions, a smile crossing his face. “Hopefully not a supply closet,” Shane teases, making me laugh.

I give him the address and he drives off. He’ll be pissed when he sees where I am taking us, but the place won’t give off a romantic vibe, or the idea I’m going to call him for a second date.

***

“A coffee shop?” Shane questions, as he looks out the car window.

“Hey, you said anywhere,” I laugh.

“You really want to get rid of me, and quick,” he laughs, taking his gaze from the shop to me. His forehead creased in worry lines.

“Come on, you can get a donut,” I tease, climbing out of the car.

“Oh, can I?” Shane mocks.

“You owe me another date, a real one where I pick,” he demands, his voice serious as he opens the door to the coffee shop.

“No, the deal was a date. We’re on a date. No second dates were in this deal,” I remind him.

“This is not a date. This is out for coffee, which we do in the break room. Therefore, you owe me a date,” Shane explains, smiling big.

Well, this plan backfired.

I sit on the soft tan couch in the back of the coffee shop as Shane grabs us some coffee. He knows how I like it, straight with two sugars. Actually, I’ll drink any kind of coffee, any which way; I love the stuff. I’m addicted and I could use help for the things I would do for a cup of coffee.

“Just how you like it.” Shane sets the coffee down as he sits next to me on the couch, crossing his legs as he leans back.

“So, Jessica, I have been working with you for a couple months and know hardly anything about you. Tell me about yourself.” He turns his head just slightly, pinning me with his brown eyes. I shift uncomfortably.

Maybe the coffee shop wasn’t a good idea. I should have picked somewhere that allowed no talking, like a movie.

“Not much to tell. I work and when I’m not working, I’m with my daughter,” I respond quickly, avoiding eye contact.

“Hmm, I see,” Shane says, taking a sip of his coffee. “Where are you from?” he continues to question.

I sigh and set my coffee down on the wicker table next to me. “Nevada.”

“I see you’re not much for talking,” he says with a chuckle.

“I just—”

“It’s fine, Jessica. I know you’re not one to dive into your personal life. I know you better than you think though,” he says with a smile, lifting his right eyebrow.

“You think so? And what do you know?” I ask, shrugging. He sets his coffee down on the table, taking a deep breath. This ought to be good, ‘cause I don’t even know myself.

“I know you love sports,” he responds, looking at me, his brown eyes glistening with brightness that he thinks he has me figured out. “I know you love the color pink, and you hate company get-togethers,” he continues, his eyes never leaving mine.