The Espionage Effect(30)

Although he had no idea. Only someone primed with the right information would know what to ask. And I didn’t feel any compunction to tell.

But what struck me was the knowledge permeating straight to my heart, that if he did ask, I would offer him up my darkest secrets. And he would protect them.

“Beautiful,” he murmured.

The reverent word spoken under his breath held more weight than any other he could’ve uttered. Because the way his intense stare penetrated down into my soul, I knew he didn’t just mean on the outside. He knew me bone deep on the inside, without ever needing to be told what dark things lay hidden there.

A shiver coursed through my body, sensitizing every nerve ending, as if the crackling air between us charged me to life.

“Lie back.” His commanding words softened as he moved from the foot of the bed, pivoting toward the bathroom.

I sat down, then scooted back toward the center of the large bed before stretching out atop the white duvet, unashamed to bare myself in the middle of all the pristine white.

Above steadying breaths that I forced into my lungs to calm my turbulent pulse, the sound of a zipper nearby rent the silence. Finally. The mysterious bag had opened.

Seconds later, he stood beside me.

Beautiful. In my vast knowledge of semantics, only his earlier word came to mind. Sleekly muscular, his lean body moved with efficient grace. His semierection remained the same: primed, and yet, controlled. For him or me?

I reached out, wanting to touch him, wrap my fingers around his thick shaft. A yearning deep within me needed to feel his heat as he hardened for me.

“No,” he said. Before I registered the movement, his hand clamped on to my wrist, gentle but unyielding. “This is about you.”

My brow wrinkled in disappointment. “We aren’t having sex?” Memories returned of the last time we were on this bed, his heated touch, the slow burn that burst into flames.

“Oh, we are. But I’m in charge.” His voice fell gruff, barely contained.

Confused, I blinked. Everything he’d done to that point had suggested otherwise. And yet, the idea of surrendering control shot a thrilling shudder through me.

My gaze dropped to his other hand. He clutched a small, black item. Then he knelt on the bed. “Close your eyes.”

I didn’t. A portion of what he held in his hand dropped free. I stared at the black material and realized it was a blindfold unraveling open. The fabric appeared to be solid silk on one side, brocaded material on the other.

My gaze flew up to his. “I thought you said not to trust you.”

“I said it was good that you didn’t. Do you think I will hurt you?”

I shook my head, certain he wouldn’t.

“Do you believe I will protect you?”

“Yes.” The word was soft, but sure.

“Then close your eyes. This isn’t about you trusting me. Don’t. I haven’t earned your unchecked trust.” He stared hard at me, searching my eyes. “This is about you. Trust yourself.”

His words hit me like a sledgehammer.

Trust myself.

My whole life I’d been holding myself back, becoming what everyone else wanted me to be, expected me to be. This spontaneous trip was about escaping my predestined life, derailing a train I hadn’t boarded of my own free will that barreled at full speed toward some unknown and unwanted destination.

Trusting myself…meant letting go.

And in the short time I’d known Alec, I’d determined he would be the one to guide me.

I closed my eyes.

“Good girl,” he murmured.

A wisp of material feathered over my cheekbones. In the shadowy room, the scant light that glowed through my eyelids disappeared, casting me into a total blackout. Slight pressure rested along my temples, secured along the back of my head.

I felt soft movement across my shoulder, then a gentle tug of the hair my nape, until the light touch of his fingers brushed down from my collarbone only to be replaced by a warm, light mass: He’d swept my hair to one side.

“Stop analyzing.” Amusement laced the command. “Just feel.”

I pressed my lips into a firm line, suppressing a smile. “I’m trying.” I inhaled slowly, attempting to banish every thought from my mind,

His weight shifted, causing my body to list sideways for a brief second until he returned beside me, the warmth of his knee pressing against my hip. He wove his fingers together with mine, then lifted. A warm touch pressed against the back of my hand, the low sound of a kiss following.

Then something thin encircled my hand and slid downward in soft movement before tightening around my wrist. Snug but comfortable pressure followed. He grasped my other hand and pressed my palms together. In the span of a heartbeat, before thought registered into my brain, he repeated the process to the other wrist.

I tried to tug my hands apart, but they’d been immobilized, bound together.

Panicked, my lips fell apart on a gasp. Instinct ruled, driving a protest from deep in my gut. Fears buried long ago bubbled to the surface, rising with the adrenaline that coursed through my veins. Flashes of being trapped, being grabbed, being stolen in the night assaulted me.

“For you.” His gentle words pierced through the cascade, breaking my fall. And the developing protest died on my tongue.

In slow motion, Alec raised my arms over my head. Then he covered me with his warmth from head to toe. But he didn’t press his weight down, held himself only close enough to blanket my body, let me know he was there.